Wicked Love
by buckbeakrider
Summary: [Post-TLJ] Rey struggles finding her footing as her battle with the light and dark continues. Kylo-Ren hates how that scavenger has such a hold on him. But he constantly found himself searching for ways to reach out to her. Both were changed after the events of the Throne Room…despite how much they tried to fight it…oh what a Wicked Love it was.
1. Linger

**Hello! So this is a story I've had rolling around for a bit and just decided to write it! I'll create a second chapter but I want to see if you all will like it. So please leave a review or follow the story. Chapters will generally flip from Kylo-Ren/Ben Solo's and Rey's POV. The chapters will be inspired by song lyrics which will appear before any chapter content. I clearly don't own the StarWars universe but it needs to be stated. This is post TLJ with some flashbacks (and some change to what happened in the movie because...well you guys saw it). Anyways enough from me. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _And I don't have the heart that you think I do_

 _And you give me so much, it's too much to lose_

 _Heal by Ellie Goulding_

* * *

Pain. Hurt. Disappointment. They all ripped through his heart like they were his own emotions. But he knew they weren't. They were hers. The sneaky little scavenger, whose hazel eyes seemed to put him in a daze. He reached for her, he could see her, he was so close to her. He just wanted to touch her again. Regain that feeling that seemed too long ago. When they were both feeling so alone, and she reached for him. He could still feel the memories of the way her small gentle touch sent fireworks up his skin.

But then she was gone. That's when he felt it, his heart flooded with emotions, not of his doing. He fell to his knees on the red salt planet. Just moments ago where he was bested by his old master. He could feel his heart ripping with her emotions. He hated himself.

For feeling like this.

For caring how he caused these emotions.

For wishing he could fix them.

He heard the familiar sound of the Falcon jetting off. She was long gone. But her emotions lingered still. He closed his eyes, recalling how she looked at him in the Throne Room.

Oh, how he hated himself.

An annoying voice ripped him from his reverie.

"Sir, shall we go after them?" This caused Kylo-Ren to growl. General Hux backed away a bit but not enough for Kylo.

"No. Let them think they are safe."

"The Council will want answers." Another animalistic growl erupted out of him. The redheaded general had an annoying tendency to think he was more welcome than he was. "The girl needs to be finished…we should hunt them down." That got Kylo's attention. How dare he suggest…hatred and pure anger coursed through his body. He stood up and whirled around.

"I will make this clear only once General. Do. Not. Question. Me." He lifted the general off the ground, pleased to sense the fear in the worm of a man. He dropped him and walked past him. "We will give the Council their answers. Then we will snuff out all aid the Resistance thinks they have." He left the general there to regain himself. Kylo could sense the doubt, the mistrust, it swirled around the people around him. Even some bloody Stormtroopers seemed to doubt his rule already. This angered the young man more than anything else.

Once safely back in his chambers, with the doors locked. He sat on his metal framed bed. He looked around and remembered when she appeared the second time, he was startled but pleased.

[FLASHBACK]

 _"I can help you." He could feel she was at ends. He turned to see her staring at his tall frame. A red tint creeping up her face, her gaze finally flicked from his bare chest and stared at him. He would smile at the effect he seemed to have just had on the stubbornly strong girl but he had an image to maintain._

 _"I don't need it."_

 _"Yes, you do. I could teach you the ways of-"_

 _"Darkness." Her face recoiled at him. Disgust. It was clear, he frowned at that feeling. Why could he feel what she felt? He looked and saw her confused._

 _"You felt it too?"_

 _She was gone before he got an answer._

He was curious though about her. He knew she came from nothing, he threw that fact in her face earlier. He felt regret about that, he saw the flash of hurt in her hazel eyes. Her eyes…they fascinated him. They were a color that reminded him of the deep fall sunsets where he grew up. How the golden flecks melted with the dusty green, it calmed him. He wondered if he could reach out to her. He never really tried, just reveled in the moments the Force brought them together. He closed his eyes and really tried to feel her signature. He knew it well. It was light, warm, like the sun setting because there was a coolness to her aura in the Force as well. He found her, he imagined wrapping himself in her aura.

 _"Rey…"_ He pleaded with her. How does she bring this side out in him? No response. But he sensed the change in her emotions instantly. What he once felt as calm turned to anxious, nervous, and even anger. He swallowed and tried again. _"Rey?"_ Then a rush of cold washed over him and she was gone. He snapped his eyes open. This time the hurt and pain were his own. She slammed him out. His head throbbed as if she banged it against a wall. He knew she was powerful in the Force, but how did she so willingly shove him away? He pursed his lips. He will have to look into the archives to find information on Force bonds. Perhaps tomorrow he will try again to contact her. It seemed like hours passed until he was finally able to sleep without the lingering, nagging feeling of her emotions. He decided she too must be asleep. He was relieved she wasn't in distress and was a peace. Almost unwillingly his eyes drifted closed.

 _"You are nothing…" The hurt instantly flashed in her eyes and in response it felt like he was just punched in the lungs. "But not to me, we could rule together. You and I …we won't be alone again." He outstretched his hand to her. Begging and pleading with his eyes for her to take it._

 _Her face contorted into a vile, venomous smile. Not hers…it was dark in her eyes…not hers. His mind was screaming at him that this wasn't his Rey. But it was too late. The saber was in her hand and plunged into his heart faster than any human should move._

 _"Now I'm the monster you wanted right, Ben?" Her voice ripped out. Not hers. Hers was always gentle like a song. This was harsh like Snoke's. "We are monsters together now."_

 _"No…I didn't…Rey…" He was choking on his own blood, her, NOT HERS, eyes were black like a demon creature._

 _"This is what you wanted Ben."_

He flung awake panting, sweating, breathing like he was holding his breath the whole time he was in that vile nightmare. He sensed her, the real her. He looked and saw her before him. Her eyes flicked to his bare chest then back to his eyes. Her hazel eyes relaxed him instantly. It was really her. But before he could speak she was gone. Like a whisper, she wafted away. Leaving the room cold, hollow and empty. Like how his stomach and heart still felt. He frowned, running his hands through his raven black locks. What wicked trick was this? She was close but so far, near but far, here then gone before he could even get a word from her. Before the Throne Room, he would've seen his emotions towards the girl as a weakness. But now, he was unsure. It made him feel more alive than anything else he's done. It was confusing to him. He decided it will remain locked away, his secret. He flopped back and knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep again. Not if that meant seeing a twisted version of Rey. The words the demon still echoed through his mind.

 _"This is what you wanted Ben."_ Was it? No he answered himself quickly and harshly. He didn't know what he wanted. All he knew was he needed answers.


	2. Split

**Here's Chapter Two! I figured this would help more people get a better feel for the story so I updated quicker than I plan to. Don't expect bi-weekly updates often! It will depend on how far I am on writing and how crazy school is going for me. Anyways, PLEASE leave a review! Feedback is always helpful, gives me a feel for what you guys like/would want to see occur/song suggestions for me to check out! And you know...might as well follow/favorite the story while you're at it :) Thanks, guys!**

* * *

 _I feel like I have lost my mind_

 _Something's missing, I just cannot find it again_

 _Shroud by Lissie_

* * *

Three days.

Five days.

A week.

Three weeks had passed since Rey saved her friends, channeling everything she had into moving those rocks. Everyone had been grateful to her. But they didn't know what was lurking underneath. The turmoil brewing in her. She sighed again, Chewie banished her from the cockpit to get some sleep, yet again. But she couldn't. Wouldn't. Everything that has transpired over the past weeks made her…tired frankly but the memories turned to nightmares that kept her up. She didn't want to dwell on the emotions she used to lift those rocks. Anger. Merely thinking about the event triggered the memory. But as soon as she felt its talons getting a hold she locked it away. She hated herself for slipping and using anger to use the force. Like _him._ Rey tried not to think of him, afraid that just letting him slip into her mind would summon him to her. She tried not to focus on that fact that their touch still somehow remained with her. The feeling of his back pressed up against hers while they fought side by side still fresh. She missed it…she missed…no she shouldn't think of him. That was the LAST thing she needed. Right now she needed to focus.

Focus on who she was to be for the Resistance.

Focus on saving the galaxy.

Try not to focus on the fact Luke was gone and again she felt alone.

[FLASHBACK]

 **LUKE'S POV**

 _"You succumbed so easily! You didn't even try to fight the Darkness! Why-" Luke Skywalker stopped talking immediately. He looked at the young girl, whose power matched if not rose above Ben's. She willingly flung into the Darkness, just like Ben, but somehow her aura…remained untouched. "You…your Force aura…is…not touched?" Rey looked confused as he did._

 _"I'm sorry…I'll be better next time…I promise." Luke studied her. She embraced the Darkness like an old friend but her Lightness remained her main flicker in her aura. There was no denying the coldness that was on the edges, you felt it but it was more akin to a cool autumn evening._

 _"You embraced the Dark?"_

 _"I didn't mean to!"_

 _"I'm not mad Rey. I'm surprised you remain unaffected…like you accepted its piece in you."_

 _"I'm not like HIM," Rey growled at him then. Luke could see she was not ready to accept what she already had unconsciously._

 _"No, you are not. I will train you while I can. But I sense our time is short. Come I have things for you look over when you are ready to seek the answers." He was already up the hill, causing her to sprint after him._

Rey looked at the pile of books, the old Jedi texts. Luke gave them to her, saying they will give her the answers she sought. But she hadn't touched them. Unsure, afraid of what she would find. Afraid they would tell her that she was not worthy. The darkness was too great in her to be a fighter for the Light. That she was just a girl trying to be needed. She felt anger again but not hers. Swearing under her breath she knew it was _his._ It was then she snatched up a book, maybe there was something in these old books about Force bonds. How to snap them. She is desperate to get him out of her mind, out of her heart, out of her body. He was there, around her, in her.

She hated it.

Hated him for bringing his deep brown eyes around when he wasn't wanted.

Hated how she could still perfectly envision him turning to the Light, following her.

Quickly shaking her head, she tried to squelch his anger out of her. Luke suggested she meditate when she could feel his emotions running high. It was a quick fix, an easy way to erase him. But not permanent at all. He always found his way back into her head. She confided in Luke about the bond. It confused him as much as it bothered her as to why the Force would link them. Again he referenced the books, the bloody books. So she finally finds the courage to pick one up and opened it. The book was a dazzling blue color, the worn leather felt comfortable under her hands. She started to read, knowing that she wouldn't be interrupted until she wanted to be done. Her friends were consumed with other things. Finn with this new girl, Rose. Chewie refused to let her in the cockpit until her bags underneath her eyes vanished. Leia and Poe were coming up with a permanent place to land. Some of the text was hard to understand. As if it was written with the haste of excitement, the author eager to spill their thoughts on the pages. She felt her heart racing as she read the first words over.

 _I felt a draw to a dark place today. I meditated on these feelings unsure of what they are. They feel raw, splintering. I'm used to the Force, the binding of all living things, to flow peace through me. This is different. Like Death, not Life._

Then she felt _him._ A groan escaped her and she bookmarked the page and set the book down.

 _"Rey? Can you hear me?"_ Oh, she heard Ben. She could always hear him, feel him. It was like she lost control of her own mind whenever he was around. But she never indulged him. When she had learned to cut the connection it was liberating. But she always felt the hurt and sorrow in him after she forced him away. She didn't know why it always made her stomach twist up but it did. Something didn't sit right with her knowing she was the source of that hurt. But now, over the course of weeks, his relentless tries to contact her left her tired and on edge. Some days he would try multiple times others she would just feel a trace of his aura then it slips away. She focused on building a wall, in her mind, preventing him from seeing her, from him talking to her, feeling her.

 _"Please Rey…just let me see you…"_ he had a nightmare again, she could tell by his voice. How it trembled. It bugged her that she knew this was why the Force was making her appear: to comfort him. She felt the ache and fear in him like it was her own. Was it her own? That was a thought for another time she quickly decided. Slowly she let him appear, not looking at him though.

 _"I need to see your eyes, Rey."_ She looked at him and she felt the wave of relief flow through him. Then before he could speak to her again, She built the wall and he faded. There was a knock on the door which caused her to jump.

"Come in…" Finn appeared. Rey gave him a weak smile. Ben's voice still lingered. Why did he need to see her eyes?

"Rey…this is not sleeping." Finn looked at the books then to her. "Did you have these in Jakku?"

"No, Luke…gave them to me as guidance for questions he knew I would have." Finn nodded. Ever patient Finn has been by her side since the beginning.

"How is…um, Rose?" Finn smiled easily, so easy going he was. It was infectious at times. But lately, it irked Rey. Which confused her, she knew it was the Darkness gnawing at her to snap at him from time to time.

"She is stable. You'll like her Rey, reminds me a bit of you when we first met."

"I'm sure I will. You know Finn…shouldn't you be sleeping too?" He chuckled at her.

"Nobody saw you at dinner, and I know you don't miss meals intentionally." His gaze went to the books again. "I bet these stole you away?"

"Just trying to get some answers that's all." she could feel his curiosity peak at that. One of the lessons Luke taught her was how to sense other people, their emotions while you were by them.

"Answers to what questions?" She opened to say it then snapped it shut. Worry washed through her about admitting she was bonded with Ben, about how Darkness struggled to overwhelm her Light.

"Jedi things." Finn narrowed his eyes.

"Liar. But I won't press you. You'll tell me when you want to." Finn leaned back against the wall, still looking at her. "We are a family Rey. You know that right? You're my sister. Secrets tear families apart. Look at Leia." Rey smiled at him. A family.

"You are my favorite person you know that Finn? I'll tell you…tomorrow. I think I should sleep…but Finn. You have to promise to be open and understanding. I'm…afraid to tell anyone because I don't know…" She collected herself before continuing. "I don't know how to admit to myself even. It's there and I can't control it."

"Rey…I'm on your side 100%. No judgment. You are human just like the rest of us…you know minus the whole badass Jedi stuff. Shall we talk after breakfast? It would be good for the rest to see you…you know eating." Finn smiled and left. Rey felt loved…a family. That's when it hit her…how tired she was. She fell asleep with a faint smile. Happiness was hard to come by these days…but she let that lull her to sleep.

* * *

Rey awoke to pounding on her door. Finn burst in, his carefree demeanor filled the room.

"Wake up sleepyhead! You'll sleep through breakfast!" Rey groaned but rolled out of bed. Shocked at how better she felt after one night of no nightmares. Usually, they plague her, keeping her up at night.

"Give me two minutes Finn and I'll be out." He saluted then left as quickly as he entered. Rey felt good today, like herself before the bond. She twisted her hair up into a singular bun.

After breakfast, Finn and Rey made it back to her room. Finn was right, seeing the rest of the survivors had boosted her spirits. Poe was ever chatty with her, happy to see her up and moving. He mentioned when they find a permanent spot, she would have a training spot. She smiled at that thought. She would need to fix that lightsaber first though. Hm…another question for the books.

"You seem in better spirits now. I've been worried. You seemed…dull lately." Finn glanced at her.

"I was. I am. I don't know how to describe it." She admitted that much. They sat in silence. Finn wasn't going to push her but she could feel his eagerness for her to continue her thoughts. "You know there are a Light and Darkness in the Force…" He just nods. "I…have both in me." She said it out loud and her anxiety over what Finn will say to her. About her. _He'll hate you, spit at you for being weak._ A nagging whisper echoed in her.

"Everyone does. Rey, I see you struggle now. What's on your mind?" Her eyes snap up to Finn. So accepting, so patient.

"You'll hate me…that I'm weak…that I'm not worthy to be the Last Jedi." She felt the tears come faster than she could stop them. She felt _him_ as well. Ben. He was here and she didn't even care. "I'm tired of fighting it…suppressing it…" Ben was about to answer, reaching for her, but Finn spoke and caught him off guard. She didn't know if Ben could see Finn or just hear him. Or if he could just sense she was with someone. Rey could feel the jealousy rip through her and she knew it was his.

"So don't. C'mon Rey, everyone has anger and hatred in them…it's how we decide to let it affect us that is the difference. Embrace it, understand you'll have moments where you'll need your anger over your kindness. When Rose…I was angry, I used that to get us out of that place. You are not Kylo-Ren, he feeds off it…like some monster. You are not a monster. You are Rey, level-headed and stubborn." Rey was speechless.

 _"HE'S COMFORTING YOU?!"_ Rey flinched at Ben's anger. She could hear something being smashed. Finn wiped the tears still falling.

"Let me see that smile Rey, You are defined by you alone." Another smash sounded.

 _"WHEN I SEE THAT TRAITOR I'M GONNA RIP HIS HEART OUT. YOU ARE NOT HIS TO TOUCH."_ More smashing was heard.

"Rey? Why do you keep glancing…" Rey flicked back to Finn.

"Finn…that is for another time. But thank you for…being…" Rey didn't even know how to say what his words meant to her. So she leaped up and hugged him instead.

"Wise? Amazing? Dashingly brilliant? Any would do." They both laughed then. She winced again, another smash came from Ben.

"I think I'm gonna…maybe you…" Rey struggled to dismiss her friend after he was so kind. But she was very close to lashing out at Ben, which is not something she is ready for Finn to see.

"Yeah, you look like you have something on your mind…I'll be with Rose. But if you want to talk about that other thing…you know where to find me." He kissed her cheek then off he went. Leaving her alone with Ben Solo, who was fuming mad.

 _"How COULD YOU?"_ His angry gaze was set on her now. She sighed. She never wanted to indulge him by speaking but she was tired of fighting. _Embrace it._ Finn's words echoed. Well, she might as well try embracing this madness as well.

"I'm sorry but when did you magically get a say in what I do." She could feel his excitement since she finally spoke to him. But the anger dominated, as usual.

 _"He shouldn't be comforting you."_ She shivered at his low growl. Rey decided to see how far she could press him.

"I quite like Finn. He has a calming presence."

 _"He shouldn't be touching you like that."_

"Like what Ben? Like he cares about me? Like he loves me?" She smirked again. Jealousy hit her again. "Jealousy does not look good on you Ben Solo."

 _"I'm not jealous of HIM."_ Then he vanished. Rey felt…amiss after that. It intrigued her why he was jealous when he clearly thought of her as nothing. Just someone with power who didn't deserve it. She flinched at the memory and was saddened. She could still feel his anger and she hoped some unsuspecting troop wasn't going to be on the tail end of it. This bond was not something she liked. She glanced at the books. Answers…she needed answers before telling anyone about it. Even Finn. Finn already knew one dark secret of hers, before she really knew how to handle it. She still doesn't, she still feels split. A piece of her is missing. The one thing that ties all her turmoil together. _The books will guide you._ A shiver rolled down her spine as she heard that faint whisper that reminded her of Luke. So she grabbed the blue leather one from last night, keen to figure out all its secrets.


	3. Whisper

**As promised here is the weekly update! I'm trying to write ahead so I can keep up with my plan to weekly update this story. Reviews are always welcome and greatly encouraged! I love hearing what you all think of the story. Also shoutout to FuzeTheHostage for the song suggestion!**

* * *

 _If I could take back the moment_

 _I let you get under my skin_

 _Relent or Resist?_

 _Seems the monster always win_

 _Monster by Starset_

* * *

Kylo-Ren had been busy. He was happy that the Force didn't bring them together again after his outburst. He needed time to think and mull over why he was jealous of that moment. He could feel the love she had for _that traitor._ That was what made him jealous. He wanted that from her. That blasted thought popped into his head many times over the course of the week. Did he want that? No…yes? With a shake of his head, Kylo refocused on the screen in front of him. He became obsessed with finding anything he could about Force bonds in the First Order archives. Which bothered the _General._ The thought of Hux brought anger straight to Kylo. The General was obsessed with finding Rey. Every meeting, that's what he brought up. The doors to the archives slid open to reveal the General he hated so much. Without turning around Kylo addressed him.

"You better have a good reason for coming in here, _General._ " Kylo let the venom drip out of his words. He could feel Hux getting anxious but there was a lack of fear.

"We may have found where the Resistance is getting trade from. _Sir._ " This peaked his interest. The Force bond questions will have to wait. He shut down the program and turned around.

"Well…let's go pay a visit to these traitors." Kylo got up and waited for the General to follow.

"You spend a lot of time in the Archives, Supreme Leader." Poking his nose where it didn't belong, as usual for the weasel.

"Isn't it beneath your station to be spying on me General?" Kylo was quickly getting more agitated.

"The First Order needs all your attention after the Fall of Snoke to that petty scavenger." The General bit back. Kylo could feel the anger at his words for calling her some scavenger. Then he felt regret, because did he not just a month ago throw those same sentiments in her face? A whole month since he's seen her in person since the first press of their backs almost caused him to buckle and run away with her. His mind scoffed at how that would've gone: him becoming a prisoner in the Resistance regardless of what Rey had to say. So he didn't take her hand and she didn't take his. Another pang of sorrow touched his heart. Kylo took a deep breath and focused on squishing out this Resistance nuisance. He reached the main bridge and asked to see the location. It was a journey away from where they were currently. A small trade planet is known as Rodia, located in the Outer Rim. Why would the Resistance be there? It wasn't a bustling stop, low supplies, low inhabitants since the old Republic fell. Its atmosphere was breathable but the heat created it unbearable outside the domes. Kylo was unsure if there were any even operational. But if there was, his mother would know about it. Knowing that there could only be one or two operational, he knew they wouldn't block oncoming ships. Regardless of their affiliation.

"What do we know about this planet General?" Kylo didn't turn to look at him.

"No planetary value to us, hence why we haven't bothered with it. Some trade but more of a pit-stop planet…even then the number of outsiders stopping is few. Almost no inhabitants minus the native fauna." Then why are they there?

"Then why trade there? Where did you get this source from General?" He sensed irritation from the General instantly due to him questioning the accuracy of the source.

"The source is reliable, Supreme Leader. When we first caught wind of it, I sent someone to the planet to do recon. There are whisperings but I think they are to be true."

"We're following a lead based on TOWN GOSSIP?!" The whole room went quiet. Then Kylo whipped around to look General Hux right in the eyes.

"We haven't had a lead in weeks, sir. I think-"

"Next time, _General_ , do bring leads to me so I can determine if we should WASTE time with it. Set a course for this lowland planet…might as well see what all the fuss is about since we wasted precious resources on this lead." Kylo then swept right past him, his cape billowing behind him. He couldn't believe the audacity this General had. Now they are going to waste a day worth of fuel using light speed to get to this planet. Though the thought of catching a glimpse of his scavenger was rather exciting. Wait his? No, she wasn't his…she wouldn't be. She would rather die than be with a monster like him. Which is how she eloquently spoke to him, what feels like ages ago, in the snow. Right before branding him with a scar on his face. Every time he looked in the mirror there was a reminder of her staring right back at him. He received quite the punishment from Snoke over it.

[FLASHBACK]

 _"She bested you again." His Master stated rather than asked._

 _"Her Force was wild, she didn't know how to wield it," Kylo replied looking down at the ground, knowing if he looked up from his kneeling position he'd get whatever was coming ten folded._

 _"Seems she would be better than you." He felt the rage. The hate building inside him._

 _"Pity you didn't even know about her until she was already with the Resistance." That was going to earn him at least 10 extra lashings._

 _"You will find her and bring her to me." A motion was made and the familiar Protector emerged, whip in hand. Kylo sneered at him. 50 lashings later, Kylo made it to his quarters. Nights like these were the ones where he questioned the Dark side._

Kylo found himself back in the archive room, seeking answers. He was combing through anything that had to do with the old Republic, the height of Force users…both Jedi and Sith. He felt the ship jump to light speed. Before getting any further on his thoughts of ripping Hux up, he stumbled onto an entry.

 _Entry 2568_

 _Jedi Apprentice Barriss Offee_

 _I feel something strange in the Force. A connection of sorts, with another Apprentice here. We both are confused by it and have requested a session with the Council. I can feel their emotions, it is rather startling and invasive. I have no desires or wishes to be connected with anyone. It allows for attachment. Something the Council frowns on. However, the young Knight Skywalker seems rather keen to disobey. I heard him and the Senator from Naboo, what was her name…Amidala…talking…rather personally. Curious they can't see the battle lurking in their chosen one._

Shocked to see the mention of his grandfather before Darth Vader existed and this woman…he could only assume was to be his grandmother. He didn't know much about her or his grandparents' relationship. Just that it happened and Vader came soon after things went awry. There's another entry!

 _Entry 2569_

 _Jedi Apprentice Barriss Offee_

 _The Council seemed scared of this connection between me and another apprentice. I don't understand because it is the Force bringing us together. Though they always seemed apprehensive of me upon my arrival. Not every Force-sensitive will get to be a Jedi…that's what the Council said when my cohort arrived. They asked us how our ties were with the Force. That confused us both. We said we fight for the Good as a Jedi in training should. However, this did not meet what they wanted us to say. We are to be called on again in a few days. The tensions were high in the room, anyone could sense that. I wonder if there are Sacred Texts that speak of a connection like this._

 _Entry 2570_

 _Jedi Apprentice Barriss Offee_

 _There is a Text that speaks of a Force Bond, from ancient times…when there was no Order of Jedi or Sith. Grey Knights are what they called themselves. This Bond seemed to happen when a pair of Force users shared some deep connection in their Force Aura. The Force seems to recognize that similarity and brings the two together…almost to balance them to one calm. However this speaks of incredible danger, the stronger the bond grows the more vulnerable the two become with each other. Dependent almost. However, this Bond allows them to be galaxies apart and still have a conversation like they were in the same room. I will have to share my findings with my partner. He is scared to be thrown out of the Order for this. Frankly, at this point, I sense something evil coming…perhaps we should flee._

There were no more entries after that one. Kylo pondered the words he read. Vulnerable to each other, but stronger together. There is a similarity between him and Rey, both just wanted to feel wanted by someone. They were the last two known users, Snoke killed off the small group that fled with Kylo ages ago. He got up to leave, wiping the system of his searches. He knew Hux had troopers spying on him. This was one secret he intended on keeping from the prying General. He gets to his room and flops down. Then it hit him, how could he make the connection stronger? Right now all he could ever see is Rey and how much of her depended on what Rey allowed. Perhaps he will reach out to her. Finding her cool calm aura was easy, he almost had the feel of it memorized.

 _"Done pouting are we?"_ There she stood. Not in her usual attire either. She was standing but his gaze snapped to toned still golden legs. Her legs were not covered with pants but shorts. His gaze trailed them all the way down, how long are they? She was significantly smaller than him but her legs were toned and rather entrancing.

"I wasn't pouting."

 _"Right Siths probably brood."_ she turned around again, untying her signature buns. She was getting ready for bed. Well, that explained her lack of clothes.

"I'm sorry…for yelling at you." Kylo didn't even know where those words came from. Sorry? What does this girl do to him?

 _"You don't get to be jealous or tell me what to do. You sacrificed that privilege_." Her voice was stern, but he could feel the willingness to forgive him. He felt relieved since he was worried she would go back to ignoring him or shutting him out before he could even get a glance at her. Minutes passed before he decided to shift the topic.

"What do you know about this Bond?" Curiosity spiked into her.

 _"Not much. I don't have many resources to look into it."_ She was LYING to him. He could feel her getting anxious. Why would she lie to him about this?

"You're lying." She turned around and huffed at him. Her eyes flicked to the scar like they always did whenever she allowed herself to look at him. Sorrow washed over him, it was hers. He wished he could make her stop beating herself up over it. He liked the constant reminder of her.

 _"Fine, maybe I am. My answer doesn't change. I don't know much. Other than it will grow stronger the more we use it."_ Hate rose up, but not his. Did she hate the bond? Hated herself for using it? Hated that it was with him on the other end? What was she thinking?

"Yes, I read that too. I also read that-" A knock sounded from her end. He was startled, he had never been able to hear her surrounding before this. Rey picked up on it and shut him out within seconds. He felt incredibly tired all of a sudden. Must have something to do with Rey forcing him out as well as the duration of the Bond. That was the longest they ever spoke over this weird bond. The effort of maintaining it while talking seemed to be the source of his exhaustion. Then a jolt of excitement passed through him. It was hers and frankly, he did not want to think about what or WHO was the cause of it. Deciding sleep was in order, he got ready and laid down. Pleading with the universes to let the demon Rey leave him alone for just one night.

* * *

He awoke in a sweat again. That same nightmare plagued him. He looked around and frowned when she wasn't there. Her hazel eyes reassuring him that he was just a dream. He laid back down and tried to focus on anything put the pull he felt towards her aura. She was like a drug, horrible but addicting. She wasn't horrible…no she was everything he ever pictured in a girl worthy of him. It was horrible because he knew she wouldn't ever think of him in that way. So why was he thinking of her like that? It was pointless. She would see him and attack again. He knew it. He willed himself back to sleep. Trying so desperately to get _her_ out of his mind.

 _Her screams sounded through the woods. "REY?" He was running now. Fast as he could through the dense snow-covered terrain. More screams echoed, he tried to follow their source. "LEAVE HER ALONE" He was hopelessly running now, panting, trying to get to her. He promised to keep her safe. He promised no harm would come to her. She trusted him. Now, her screams ripped whatever was left of his heart. Finally, he could see her. Snoke smirked at him._

 _"Always weak…just like your Grandfather before you! Easily infatuated with a mere girl."_

 _"Leave her alone," Ben growled. Snoke let her limp body fall._

 _"She was weak too…to believe in you." Ben ran over and saw no sign of breathing._

 _"No…Rey…please…wake up. REY." He was cradling her now in his lap. Not too long ago she was smiling at him. Her face was pale, eyes closed. He felt the tears fall. She was gone._

Kylo jolted up. He flew out of bed and grabbed the first thing his hands could grab to launch it at the wall. The clock smashed into pieces but it didn't make him feel any better. So he grabbed the lamp and threw that too. He felt angry and ashamed. He was still too weak to protect her in a dream. The images of her limp body plummeting to the ground made him grab a chair and throw that. He didn't even feel her arrive, which is saying something because he ALWAYS can feel her.

 _"Ben…"_ He whirled around to see her, like a vision. He was breathing heavily, watching her. Her eyes were softer when he watched them flick around to the remnants of the things he destroyed. Then back to him. _"Ben…"_ Her voice was like a remedy. He was starting to calm down. _"Are you…um…"_ He glanced at her then. She seemed frazzled. Unsure of what to say. He knew why they were supposed to be enemies. But the Force is pushing them together.

"I'm doing some redecorating that's all." He turned around to pick up a bit and heard her gasp. Shit. The scars on his back.

 _"Ben…did he do these to you…because…of me?"_ The question was timid like she already knew the answer.

"Doesn't matter anymore," Kylo mumbled back, unwilling to face her. Then he froze because he FELT her fingers tracing a scar.

 _"It matters to me…"_ she said while tracing a different scar. His back was riddled with them and it was taking every fiber of his being to not shiver under her delicate touches.

"Why? I'm nothing but a monster to you." he spat back, more angry at himself than her. Why was anger his first response to any sort of kindness she showed him? Why do his own demons feel the need to constantly prove they are there? Then he felt her just leave. Sadness sunk into him faster than he could even grapple what occurred. He didn't sleep much after that. He knew they would soon touch down on Rodia. He couldn't shake the sadness that haunted him, both his own and hers. Through his clothes, her touch seared into his skin. He closed his eyes and tried to focus. General Hux does not need to have any more ammunition against him. Kylo was at the landing port already by the time the General arrived. Eager to land, prove that Hux was an idiot then leave.

"Supreme Leader, we have successfully landed." He just nodded and the main doors opened. Revealing a small clearing which was the main hub of Rodia. The planet was dense forest and swamps, mostly uninhabitable. As soon as he set one foot on the ground he knew. She was here. The overwhelming need to find her instantly consumed him. But he stood still, looking at makeshift buildings before him. No sign of a ship. The pull was overloading his mind.

"I don't see much people, General." He had to get the General away before finding Rey. He couldn't be trusted to just listen to Kylo in the heat of things.

"We will conduct a search. I still trust my source." Kylo growled at that. Then it will be a race. He knew that his body will seek her out like a moth to a flame.

"Very well General. I'll start on this side, you take some troops and do the other."

"Don't you need back up? If the scavenger is here, you might need it."

"Are you doubting me again General?" Kylo's steely glare fell on him.

"Of course not. But we don't need another change at Supreme Leader. Perhaps if we just-"

"If you find her. You will detain her and bring her to me. If anything happens to her, I'll kill you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal, Sir." the General sneered back at him. Kylo glared then set off. Now it truly was a race. He could sense the distrust and eagerness to thwart Kylo in the General just then. The last thing Kylo needs is a real-life manifestation of his dream. She was close, so very close.


	4. Hush

**Hello guys! Thank you to the ones who have left such encouraging reviews! As usual, please leave a review, whether it is just a comment on what you liked or something you think I need to work on...I welcome them all!**

 **Also, I won't be updating next week since I have finals next week and won't have time to write/edit/proofread a chapter. Don't hate me. Next update will be on May 16th.**

 **Alright, that's enough from me. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _I'm not calling you a ghost_

 _Just stop haunting me_

 _I'm Not Calling You a Liar by Florence + The Machine_

* * *

Rey tried to refocus the next day after the…alarming…no that wasn't quite the word. She struggled to find the right word to describe the hurt, anger, and frustration at Ben…at herself. She shouldn't have let herself open like that. She knew he only knew how to push people away. But still, it hurt that he would lash out at her. She thought this bond affected him like it does her. But Rey saw that was not the case. She felt his anger rip her dreamless slumber. He was so consumed by it. His aura was cold and harsh. All she knew was that he needed her, so she reached out for once. Rey could still picture hearing the crack of the chair breaking on the wall. She was there to pull him out of the Darkness. She could still vividly see the scars that riddled his back, a warm red peach. She wondered how many were because of her. Guilt threatened to emerge and she closed her eye and just focused. Now was not the time for tears. Right now though she needed her head in this fight. Finn had come knocking a few days ago about a mission for them, it would help with her quest to rebuild a lightsaber. What was left of the Resistance was currently on some moon somewhere. The Falcon was currently fueling up before heading to Rodia. Leia would talk with Rey, in fact, it was apart of Rey's schedule. Rey expressed how her saber was broken…the kyber crystal was unusable now. So Leia said she would do some digging. Luke once was on the hunt for kyber crystals as well, however, it has heavily mined back in the Clone Wars. _"I can't promise anything, but I'll put out some feelers to some old friends."_ And she held up her end. The old general managed to find an old guardian of Jedi temples. She was intrigued to meet this Last Jedi. And like any good hermit, she was hiding out on Rodia. A once popular planet with cities inside domes now is nothing more but an outpost like where she came from. Funny how planets that were once sites of huge battles became nothing but graveyards. Then the thought hit her, past the Graveyard on Jakku lied an old base. She ran over to the Falcon needing to find Leia before they left. Chewie greeted her and then proceeded to say that they would be taking off soon.

"Alright, Where's Leia?" After another scolding that they were leaving soon and now was not the time for a long goodbye.

"Just have something for her to do while we are away." She called over her shoulder while navigating the halls on the ship. Rey found Leia in the general area of the ship, she appeared to be meditating.

"Um…General?" The woman that Rey has come to respect slowly opened her eyes. "I have something for you to look into…back on Jakku…there was an old base…beyond the Graveyard. No one ever looted it because the rumor was it was still active, the defense systems at least. But-"

"I'll look into it. But would you be comfortable going back there? Will they guess that's where we are?"

"I'll be fine…and it's an old Empire base. So I'm guessing they would assume we'd try to find an old Rebel base somewhere." Leia nodded as she was getting up.

"I'll look into it, Rey. Thank you. Be safe." The old general had been through, well, hell. She smiled at Rey and wished her luck in finding the answers she sought. Chewie found her soon after Leia left the ship, tasking her with helping with the final preparations for taking off.

* * *

"Buckle up, we are preparing to land," Rey announced as the dome opened for the Falcon to enter. "I'm hoping they are friendly." Rey glanced at her friend, who roared in agreement. Rey was feeling anxious, it had been a long time since she battled. If the First Order do find them, her trusty staff would be rather useless against blasters. "Once we are safe, go move the ship to a more hidden landing, just in case someone snitches on us." Chewie then glanced over and nodded. She climbed to the landing ramp and waited for it to lower, Finn and Poe flanking her. There was a woman waiting on the other side. Pink hair and grey skin. She was not what Rey had in mind when Leia said an old Jedi Temple Guardian.

"Jedi. And friends. Follow me. Come quickly. And have the pilot move this ship to a hidden bay." Chewie roared from behind and the girl then told him where. They parted ways and followed the girl. Finn was next to her. Rey was taking calming breaths, hoping to slow her racing heart. Some buildings were still in good shape, others were starting to crumble. Rey didn't like the feelings she was getting from the Force, the eyes of everyone they passed followed them. The only people she definitely could trust were Poe and Finn. Finn echoed her thoughts, snapping her from them.

"I don't like this Rey…seems like a trap." Rey had her staff gripped hard but nodded. The woman quickly ushered them inside a building.

"I'm sorry for being like that. Many fear the First Order…and you three are on the top of their hit list. Now I hear you, young Jedi, need information of kyber crystals." The woman trained her black eyes onto Rey. Rey smiled weakly and nodded. But Poe spoke first.

"Is there people who would rattle our location to the First Order?" The woman dragged her eyes to Poe, tilting her head as if she didn't quite understand what Poe had asked. A solemn sigh escaped her lips.

"Our little town is torn…the money for your heads and the Jedi alive is…enough to get off this dome and build a new life. Enticing to many. Many more than during the time of the Empire." Rey sensed the sadness of the woman. But her answer was all Poe needed to hear.

"Chewie, be on the lookout for some First Order scumbags. Seems like not everyone is singing around the campfire here. We are safe for now. We will get the info Rey needs then head back to you." He quickly reported to Chewie over the small communication device that was as old if not older than the Falcon. "Finn stays by Rey, I'll be on the lookout by the door." The trio all nodded, knowing how this will go if things take a turn for the worse. Rey watched as Poe leaned against the wall, surveying the outside for any danger.

"What's your name?" Rey now looked back to the woman, who smiled at her.

"Niska. Leia has told me much about you Rey." Rey was taken aback by the woman already knowing her name. "So kyber crystals?" A smirk appeared on the woman's face.

"I need a new one…this one is busted. Beyond use." Rey then slid the broken saber towards Niska.

"A great tragedy happened…yes?" Rey didn't know how to answer. She opened her mouth then closed it. "It is alright my dear. I can feel the confusion in you." Rey then turned red. How could she sense THAT confusion in her? She had only just told Finn of the Darkness lurking below. Finn gave a firm squeeze to her shoulder sensing her unease at the woman's words.

"We fought for it…both trying to will it to us…then it just ripped…that caused us to fly back. I woke first and grabbed the broken pieces. But I couldn't feel the crystal calling me anymore." Rey figured that would be the best and least complicated way to describe what transcribed in the Throne Room that day.

"You are very strong in the Force. It flows around you like a protective aura. Yes, this crystal is beyond repair…why do you need to have a saber? If you don't mind me asking." Rey gulped then. She would have to say what she refused to face. That as much as she wished and wanted to, Rey couldn't trust Ben to not be Kylo Ren.

"To defeat the First Order." Niska quirked an eyebrow. "To bring peace to the galaxies."

"Until you accept your mind and heart youngling…no crystal will bend solely to you." They met eyes and stared at each other for a moment.

"To find peace between the Dark and the Light…for both of us." Niska smiled finally at that answer and Rey could feel the confusion in Finn. Great, she will get asked about that later.

"Yes, my girl. You will need to find a crystal. They are clear when not attuned to a Force user. Once you find one…you hold it as you meditate. But this meditation is different than what you were taught. You MUST let the Force control you…it will learn you desires and hatred. Only then will the color show. In the old days, they were worn as necklaces, indicated one was a Grey Knight…the first Force users. But like all orders, there were those who found the power of the kyber…and wanted to use them for weapons…the Sith were born. The others who relied on the Force only and sabers out of necessity became the Jedi Order. Anyone who did not align with one or the other tried to maintain the true Knights. But they were quickly disposed of by the Sith or they eventually chose a side." Rey was engrossed in the story. Grey Knights? Necklaces of kyber? She needed to look in her books for that order.

"Do you know where I can find kyber?" Niska sighed and looked away as if recalling a very dark time for her.

"Unfortunately my dear, there were only three planets with such crystals. Jedha was destroyed long ago. Ilum will kill you before you could find a cave that still had some kyber, back when the Jedi were in the height of rule, we would send young padawans there to find their kyber. I'm afraid that is also the planet the Sith used as well, I highly doubt there is much left on that planet aside from ice and bitter cold. Christophisis however, has never been heavily looted. But there is a danger, it has always been a source of strife in the galaxy. Much like where you hail from, and here, no one can be trusted. I cannot tell you if the planet is neutral or affiliated with the First Order."

"What do you know a-" Rey stopped talking. She could feel him. He was here. Ben. His solid aura crashed into hers.

"We GOT TROUBLE!" Poe came running in.

"Rey, this is a journey YOU have to take alone. Do you understand me?" Niska didn't even flinch at Poe but she was up and digging through a chest. Suddenly armor was shoved into her hands. "Take my old suit. My time has come. To save the Last Hope we have." The doors were kicked open and she could feel his aura consume the room. It was heavy, cool, but not dark. Rey shoved her friends behind her, eyes on Ben. Niska stayed by the chest but charcoal eyes were trained on Ben. His dark amber eyes were on her, like always.

"Rey." The sound of her name falling from his lips, was torture. She clenched her jaw. This was it. The moment that would decide if there was still hope to save Ben or if Kylo Ren has truly taken him from her.

"Ben. How did you find me?"

"I'll always find you." Simple, yet not simple. His answer reflected him perfectly, it aggravated her. Both Finn and Poe growled at that. Niska was now watching the two Force users with great intrigue.

"Well, what are you going to do then? Finish me off like Snoke ordered?" The anger threatened to seep out, like always, the Darkness was bubbling close to the surface.

"No. You know I can't." Rey knew he meant it, his eyes always gave away more than Ben liked. He looked away and landed on Niska. "Who is this?"

"A trader." Rey wasn't lying technically, she was trading information. More commotion came from outside. Ben quickly went to the small window.

"You need to leave now Rey. I can't keep them off of your trail long, they will notice I'm not coming back out of this hut." Ben's words astonished everyone in the room. Rey felt like she stopped breathing. She studied his face as he glanced back at her. He looked like Han more than anything now. Though he did have Leia's kind eyes that always showed her emotions readily.

"WHAT?" Poe yelled and snapped her out of her study of Ben. Both Finn and Poe looked at her. She shoved the armor in her rucksack. She needed to get them to safety.

"Is there a back way out?" Rey addressed Niska calmly. Niska looked at her and nodded.

"REY, NOW!" Ben growled at her and marched over to the two boys. "If she dies because you two morons can't protect her. I will spend my last dying day hunting you to kill you. And trust me it will be more painful than any torture I have done before." The anger dripped off of every word Ben said. Poe and Finn just nodded quickly and followed Niska. Rey went to follow her friend when she felt him grab her arm. Tiny sparks jolted up her arm at his fingers on her skin.

"Let go, Ben." It took every ounce of control to say that calmly to him without giving away how easily she was affected by his touch.

"Look at me." Rey sighed and turned around. Amber warmth met her hazel eyes. "Please be safe Rey…I can hold them for only so long until they notice…you running about. Be smart." Then he let her go and heading to the front while she ran to the back to catch up with her friends and to gain some distance from Ben. Niska had kicked out the boards on a back window. Rey climbed out first, then helped Finn get through and Poe soon came out after.

"Go, I will go with…the other boy." Niska's head vanished and Rey sensed that would be the last time she would see the old Guardian.

"Alright follow me, keep your heads low and shoot straight Finn. Rey is defenseless minus the Force." Kriff, she left her staff in the room. It was too late to go back. Poe was right, she was going to be the easiest target and the one with the highest price on her head. The trio slowly started to move through the alley. Shuffling every few feet, glancing down the sides of buildings, peering over old boxes and trying to get to the Falcon.

"Poe…do you know where we are going?" Finn raised a very good point. Rey didn't know where the Falcon was and highly doubted Poe knew. Though he had always seemed like a 'make it up as I go' sort of person.

"Yeah, the pink haired lady told me." Rey rolled her eyes at him but continued to follow him. And then ran right into Finn because Finn ran into Poe.

"Finn get to the other side of this alley. We got to shoot our way through this alley." Rey took the chance to feel for the troopers. If she can find Ben, she should be able to sense them. How clear their beings came into her mind actually startled her.

"There's four in two pairs. One leaving the building up from ours and the other pair is in the cross-section of the alleys." Poe looked back at her with awe. He quickly regained his composure.

"Right. Alright, Finn. Let's shoot some Stormtroopers." Finn fired first and landed a shot but that only alerted the other three. Soon laser blasters were firing. Rey felt completely useless and wished she would've snagged one of the blasters they had on the Falcon. More troopers came over to check the commotion. Rey would kill for a usable saber right now _. You have the Force. Be smart._ Rey needed to get closer to a trooper. She started to move and was soon getting yelled at by both of the boys. But she was on a mission. Her eyes trained on one trooper, she quickly came up behind him. Taking a few moments to control her breathing before enacting her plan.

 _"Protect me. You are mine now. You will only listen to me."_ With all her will and conviction she tricked the trooper. Who soon was opening fire on his own which provided cover for Finn and Poe to take out more troopers. Rey slunk down behind a crate. She felt sick contorting someone's mind like that. She has dismissed thoughts but never planted her own. She knew that she had just given a small part of herself to the Darkness. Poe and Finn soon moved closer to her position. She felt the trooper she twisted get killed, which didn't make her feel any better.

"How close are we?" Rey quickly asked.

"A few more blocks. Neat trick…can you do it again? It would help give us cover to move faster." Poe was popping up and blasting at the tops of hidden troopers.

"I can try." Rey didn't want to tell them the cost of giving in to the Darkness, nor did she want to think about how right it felt letting it out of its cage.

"That's my girl." Finn smiled and they looked at their next path.

* * *

They could finally see the Falcon. Everyone was looking ragged and breathing hard. They dodged a few close calls getting to this point. Only to find General Hux standing between them and their escape. Ben was approaching him, his black cape flowing behind him like a force to be reckoned with. Rey, Finn, and Poe were no more than 100 yards away…an easy but deadly dash to the Falcon.

"Chewie when I tell you too, you drop that landing and get ready for the fire," Poe whispered into the communication device.

"How do we know Ren won't kill us now he's in front of the others?" Finn and Poe looked at Rey after Finn asked her the question. She didn't and this is beginning to shape up to be like a nightmare that keeps haunting her. He keeps haunting her. She was tired of it all.

"We don't. I'm sorry…I wish I had a better answer but I don't know…if we can think he will help." There were dozens of troopers. Ben was motioning to the town again. General Hux did not seem to care. Rey was hoping Ben was trying to get more troopers away under the guise of searching the town for them.

"What's the plan, Poe?" Poe peeked up again and quickly came back down.

"There's a lot of troopers…can you knock out people Rey?"

"Uh…I don't know if…how…like a push or mind?" Rey was getting worried, this battle was already taking a toll on her. She can't even protect herself without a saber. Focus Rey…Niska said they used to only rely on the Force. No sabers, just the Force. "Give me a target and let me try from here." Poe and she peeked up this time and found a trooper close to them but a distance from the others. That was her target.

"That one seems rather tired…it would be a pity if he just blacked out." Poe looked at her and Rey was already focusing all her power. Focusing all her mind on the image of the trooper just collapsing to the ground. She gasped quick, she was in his mind and then suddenly she was out of it.

"Brilliant REY!" Finn whispered as the thud of the body hit the floor, Rey didn't know if he was knocked out or dead. Rey needed to refocus because soon it was going to get crazy. She was right, as soon as the body landed, Hux was yelling.

"SHE'S HERE. FIND HER."

"Well looks like it is show time," Poe smirked before standing up and just unloading his blaster. Finn soon did the same. Rey peeked out and saw Ben standing there. Their eyes met and she felt angry. Both her own and his. Soon she was up on her feet. She got to where Finn was and was pushing back troopers.

"ARE YOU INSANE REY. IF YOU GET SHOT-"

"JUST FOCUS FINN." She pushed a trooper into a wall that was sneaking up on Poe. He looked at her and nodded thanks. They were slowly gaining ground. She flicked General Hux out of the way.

"DO SOMETHING KYLO-REN." yelled before standing then falling down again, Rey pushed him into a wall on purpose. Ben looked at her and reached his hand up. Rey was angry and felt betrayed. Before she knew what she was doing, she held her hand up and just focused on stopping Ben from touching her or her friends. Ben screamed in frustration as she soon had him down on his knees. This felt good, letting the animal out of its cage. She barely heard Poe yell into the transmitter at Chewie. But she heard the Falcon's landing start to lower. Which pulled her focus from Ben, snapping her Force hold on him. It was now or never. She locked eyes with Poe and soon all three were making a mad dash. Finn and Poe shooting as they went. Rey just hoping the blasters would miss her. And funnily enough most did. She sensed a trooper fire that Finn didn't see. Time seemed to freeze as she saw the blast was heading right for her dear friend. So she pushed him out of the way. She then felt the Force push her, but not in time. The blaster grazed her side and a searing pain erupted. She grabbed her side and felt Finn pull her up to her feet. Rey was wincing as she ran the last few feet. She saw Ben staggering his way into view, their eyes met once again. She already missed seeing them in person, knowing the next time they will meet will be through their connection. Just a whisp of the real thing.

"CHEWIE CLOSE IT NOW." Poe just snuck on and was blasting the ones trying to still get them. Rey fell down and Finn was right to her side.

"Poe, she's been hit…POE." That got his attention. Rey looked at her hand, red.

"Get her to a bed! Let's go. Chewie we need to head out NOW." A familiar roar sounded.

"Rey, can you hear me?" She nodded at Poe. But she didn't feel Finn pick her up nor place her on the bed.

"Rey. We are gonna put a bandage on it okay? Once we touchdown our medic can really dress it up okay?" Another nod. She knew that they felt guilt for her injury. But not the same guilt or anger that will undoubtedly ripple off Ben if he forces his way through and catches a glimpse of the scene before him.

"Is it bad?" She could sense the apprehension to answer.

"Um…well there's not that much blood…" She snorted at Finn.

"Someone get me something for this-OW POE-damn pain." Finn quickly scrambled and returned with a small glass of blue liquid. She downed it happily. And soon she couldn't feel Poe removing the bits of her top around the wound. She vaguely remembered someone telling her to rest though.

"Get some sleep, Rey. I'll help Chewie pilot to the new base. Finn, she'll be fine." She willingly obeyed the voice, letting the urge to sleep overcome her. She only hoped that it would be dreamless.


	5. Private

**Hey guys! The wait is OVER. Thank you again for being understanding about the delay in updating. We will now return to our regularly scheduled updates. I'll always try to notify you when if I know I'll be late on updating so I don't get nasty messages...but sometimes writer's block can be a bitch. Anyways...without further ado, enjoy! As always...leave a review if you'd like (what you liked, constructive criticism, song suggestions, etc.). I really enjoy getting feedback, helps with the writing process.**

* * *

 _Did we take too many chances?_

 _Or did we let too many pass us?_

 _Did we throw it all away?_

 _Walk Through the Fire by Zayde Wolf (ft. Ruelle)_

* * *

Three days. That was how long it has been since Kylo-Ren last saw her. Three long days of silence….it tormented him more than when she closed herself off from him because he has grown used to her presence now. The Council was started to doubt him as well. It was frustrating him to no end, he finally had what he wanted…The leader of the First Order. Yet it was not what he thought it was going to be, constant meetings with the Council. They questioned every mandate he made. Hux was undermining him at every moment, and at the end of the day…Kylo gets to go back to his room…and spend the nights alone.

[FLASHBACK]

 _The council sat before him as holograms. He was in there by himself. Hux was dismissed with his tail between his legs for the inadequacy of his Stormtroopers. But now Kylo-Ren was in the hot seat._

 _"How does she keep besting you, Supreme Leader?"_

 _"Perhaps Snoke should have pursued her instead." That got his attention._

 _"Snoke did not know about her until she was already in the Resistance's clutches." One of the eldest members of the council smiled._

 _"Oh he knew of her, the Force is strong with her. Snoke felt it. But you were such easy prey…much more willing for any attention. We figured getting you to our side would dismantle your mother…and the Resistance would be done. But you proved…to be weak." Kylo pounded the table with his fists._

 _"I. Am. Not. Weak." Anger was probably radiating off of him. They were lucky none of them were here otherwise…one would be on the wrong end of his anger._

 _"Then explain why she always slips through your grasp. Always so close but yet you can never seal the deal." Frankly, he was wondering the same thing. Traces of her touches, whispers of her breathing and heartbeats, clung to his memories like a disease. Whenever he is with her in person, his mind shuts down it seems. His only thoughts are of her and how he could get her to smile, or to get her to look at him with warmth. It was infuriating._

 _"I will deal with her how I see fit. There is a great conflict in her…"_

 _"We want her to be killed on sight like the rest of the Resistance's leaders…but if you believe she can still be swayed. We will wait to execute that order. But one more slip-up Supreme Leader…and we will replace YOU with Hux." The holograms left him and Kylo-Ren threw chairs and ripped apart the table using the force. He was waiting, hoping her calming aura would come but the room was cold and harsh._

Kylo secluded himself to the Archives since the battle on Rodia. He kept on digging, he has found some entries only confirming that the Jedi Order was corrupt. Many of the older Padawans, who were almost Knights themselves, sensed something off. He spent most of his time either here or training. Meditating was too dangerous, his mind would drift to her…and the silence was starting to get to him. It has been almost a whole week now…5 full days of nothing. He could still feel her aura if he went looking for her but he couldn't get through. There was a wall stopping him from reaching her. He didn't want to think about the possibility of her shutting him out again. That would drive him insane, this silence already was doing the trick regardless of her intentions. The other even more dangerous thought was that the ship had been blasted escaping…that she was dead. But he would push those thoughts aside because it made his chest hurt and he knew that if she was truly dead, he wouldn't be able to still find her aura. Another stupid schematic was swiped away before a rather interesting entry appeared. It was sealed. This piqued his interest. Why would an old entry be sealed? Kylo didn't want to admit that his father had taught him the basics of hacking computers. But at this moment he said a silent thanks to the old smuggler. The file opened.

 _Something is wrong. Very wrong. I thought I knew Anakin, I helped rescue him off of Tatooine. I had to convince the Council to let him into training. I personally promised my Master that I would train the young boy. He's become secretive, slicking off when I've let him off duty. He thinks I do not know what feelings lurk for the Senator. He has become too friendly: addressing her by her first name, his wry smile appears when she looks at him. I know the signs. I once felt those sentiments as well, for a girl on my home planet. His love will cloud his judgment. I know what he can do if he turns to the Darkness. None of us will live…especially her if she defies him._

 _I will keep a record and watch, in case I have to take this to the Council._

 _Ben_

Kylo just stared at the words, his namesake hadn't turned his grandfather in. He still held hope for Anakin. Kylo refused to believe that his grandfather would have killed the woman he loved. He would protect her not harm her. He needed to find what happened, why did Kenobi not turn in his grandfather or at least confront him? Pondering the latter part of the file, about his grandfather's power…Kenobi knew and yet he didn't try to strike down Darth Vader. Unlike his uncle…memories flooded him of before Luke tried to kill him. He was impressed and proud, Kylo finally felt what it was like to have someone proud and care for him. But then the whisperings from Snoke started and the illusion of the caring uncle came crashing down. Snoke once told him, meditation sometimes connected force users with the souls of force users. Kylo didn't believe it much, why would he need to contact some old Jedi or Sith? Now though…now he needed answers. Again he cleared his searches and downloaded all important files that he has found to a personal drive. Then he wiped those files from the Archive. He knew Hux had a few of his elite spies tracking his moves. It angered Kylo that everything he wanted was crumbling around him…being Supreme Leader was not what he had hoped. It was far more lonely and he didn't get the instant respect he so wanted…if only she would've taken his hand. He sighed knowing that it was useless if Rey had taken his hand, she wouldn't really be the Rey he knows and…he stopped those thoughts right there. He didn't know what he felt…but he knew it was strong. He quickly headed to his room. Walking through the lifeless grey hallways, he felt more alone than ever. Her silence was eating away at his resolve. He finally reached his wing, scanning his hand to gain entrance. His room was the only place no one was allowed to go, except him. Hux wouldn't be able to get his spies in here. He had deleted files that had information pertaining to his grandfather, Grey Knights, and Force Bonds. He looked down at the little storage device and sighed. What was he doing? He was sneaking around like he was a spy. No. He wasn't, he is gathering intel to sever the bond that was causing him to go mad, no matter how many times he tried to repeat those words in his head, he didn't believe his own words…he didn't have the strength to break his bond to the hazel-eyed wonder. Kylo also wanted to figure out the past of his grandfather that he's idolized. He locked the device in a box under his bed that held other important items to him: A necklace from his mother and a small replica of the Falcon his father gave him that he just couldn't part with. _WEAKNESS._ He snarled at the box before shoving back under his bed.

He paced the room, this was stupid, meditating in hopes of what? Contacting a dead wash-up. He clenched his jaw before settling down to the floor. Controlling his breathing he started to meditate for the first time since the battle. He felt her pull, it was stronger than before. He needed to concentrate though after he gets answers he will seek her out, he knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from her for long. He pushed her aura to the side as he continued, quietly he spoke _Ben? Ben Kenobi?_ His mind flicked back to the times he would call into the abyss for his grandfather. But shaking those memories fast he called out louder this time. _BEN KENOBI? Can you hear me? I want…I want answers and I think you have them._ His eyes snapped open and before him was a figure, radiating blue and calmness.

 _Ah, my namesake._

"It…worked…" Kylo sat there gaping at the old man. "Then how come Darth Vader never answered me?"

 _Perhaps because he is dead. What answers are you seeking?_

"You're dead and here you stand." Kylo snapped back, rather annoyed that the ghost's response was stated like it was fact.

 _Yes but he has always been a drama queen, his Force Ghost is no different. You have questions._

"Yes. Why didn't you turn Anakin in for having feelings for the Senator? What was she like?"

 _Ah. Did you unlock my entry? Clever boy. No doubt your father taught you that trick. I didn't turn him in because…I viewed him as a brother. He inherently distrusted people due to his childhood on Tatooine…I didn't want to do that to him. I wanted to have the belief that my Master had in him. I wouldn't say anything, not unless it seriously hampered him. By the time I deemed I should…it was too late. The young boy I knew was gone. And as I suspected…it killed Padme. Seeing the man she loved…the father of her children…go into the dark crushed her. She denied him, refused to follow him down a path that he knew she couldn't follow. He Force choked her out of pure anger and hate. Thinking she chose me over him. The Dark Side had warped his mind, he wouldn't listen to the truth, regardless of who was telling him. Padme was strong…defiant…never backed down from what she thought was right. She deserved a better fate than what she got._

"How come there's nothing on her?"

 _I suspect Darth Vader erased her from the Archives. Choosing to erase her from the system in hopes it would erase her from his mind._ Kylo could sense that this was a hard topic and that the old Jedi didn't desire to answer any more questions. Kylo knew what Kenobi did to his grandfather…how he had left him there on that planet. But Kylo understood, he had no choice.

"What do you know about Force Bonds?" That seemed to excite the old Jedi.

 _It is unknown how they form…some think it is similar souls searching for solace…others thought that it meant that the force was trying to maintain balance…no one really knows exactly. But we know they are strong…the more the two bonded use it…the less you will be able to cut it. Bonds were more common in the early years of the Jedi Order, the users that were bonded were some of the most powerful force users we've seen. Who are you bonded to?_

"I didn't say…" Kylo was surprised and tried to fumble with a lie but it was no use.

 _I can sense it…you haven't seen them in a while. You are worried and trying to not think about it._

"Her name is Rey. She's a scavenger from Jakku." Even associating her as a scavenger made him angry, she was much more than a simple scavenger to him. Her past has no impact on her worth…she was priceless.

 _Ah. You have feelings…which makes you scared because both the Jedi and Sith Orders forbade attachments. And it drove your grandfather to the dark side, killing his love. Your parents drifted too far apart because of their fear of you. You see feelings as weakness much like what Snoke told you._

"She will be my undoing…she already is! I can't stop thinking about her. If I cut the bond she will be safe? I'll be free of her…and her of me. We are enemies." Kylo was pleading with the ghost at this point.

 _Do you really think that? You would strike her down without thought, guilt, or hesitation? No. You are not filled with pure hatred and anger Young Solo. Even I can sense the Light that looms under you. I ask this in return: What if you end the bond then how could you even know if she is safe?_

"Shouldn't you be warning me against keeping it? You were a Jedi." That got a chuckle out of the ghost.

 _I've seen many things crumble because of attachments yes. But in my time on Tatooine after the fall of the Jedi…I reflected on things. Perhaps things aren't as black and white as both Orders wished, life isn't black and white and the Force is what connects all life. There are a time and place for everything…I believe we have forgotten that. We didn't see our Chosen One boiling with hatred because we were too blind to believe one of us could ever be seduced by the Dark…until he came to kill us. No…we had wavered too far from our beginnings to be saved._

"What do you mean? The Grey Knights?"

 _I cannot give you those answers because I do not know…my Master once met a Grey Knight from the Grey Order. Probably one of the last. But he never spoke of what happened during that encounter._

"If I call on my grandfather will he answer?"

 _If you know what to say. He watches you constantly young Solo. I suspect he has much he wants to say. But you are not ready to hear what he has to say. I feel another difficult task is before you where you must decide if everything you hold dear is worth it. Good luck._

With that, he was gone. Kylo looked at the place where he stood. That was enlightening. His namesake wasn't angry at him for anything he's done. No judgment in his tone. He could see why Luke talked so highly of him. He decided he would wait to speak with Rey. He was exhausted from that conversation and frankly, he was unsure if she even wanted to talk to him.

He stood up and was lost in his thoughts, going back through what Kenobi had said to him. How historically, very powerful force users had bonds. He knew that Rey was strong in the Force, who knows how powerful she will be if she trains more. He was about to fall asleep until her voice snapped him out of it.

 _"NO BEN! NO, NO NO PLEASE."_ He whirled around and she was thrashing in her bed, an actual bed not her small bunk space of the Falcon like he's grown used to. He was over to her side in a moment. Her thrashing had made the blankets fall off of her, revealing her bandage wrapped mid-section. Anger threatened to overwhelm him, but he silenced it.

"Rey…wake up…" He reached out and touched her. Instantly the warmth consumed his hands like she was burning right through him. She jolted up.

" _BEN! You can't just…_ " Her eyes widen and she launched over him leaning on his lap grabbing the blankets to cover herself. Kylo stopped breathing while she wrangled the blankets off the floor. Controlling was little resolve he had to not force her to stay on his lap, so he could breathe in her scent and feel her warmth again.

"You're injured."

 _"Well…I was…mostly healed now though."_

"How come I haven't been able to get through to you?" Rey looked away from him.

 _"You won't get mad?"_ A low growl came from him. If those buffoons she had with her let this happen he would personally go find them and torture them.

"What. Happened." She sighed and looked down at her feet.

 _"I was…unconscious for a few days…I slept a lot yesterday…today was the first day I've been up and moving."_ He stood up and raked his hands through his hair. She was almost dead. And he was light years away…what if she died and he didn't even get to say goodbye? _"Ben…I'm okay."_ She reached and grabbed his hand. Her slender fingers laced through his. He felt the calluses on her hands, no doubt remnants of her scavenging days on Jakku.

"I didn't…I thought I got you out of the way. What if…"

 _"It wasn't your fault Ben…you did everything you could to help."_

"IT CLEARLY WASN'T ENOUGH REY." He ripped his hand out of hers and threw a pillow, he felt the tears coming. Never had he felt more helpless in his life.

 _"How did you…Ben, I'm not dead. I'm fine…I did what I had to and if you hadn't been watching me then I wouldn't be standing here."_ Soon he felt her arms wrap around his waist. His arms instinctively went up confused and not used to affection. But it felt nice. It felt right.

"What if I can't always protect you?" he whispered them out, afraid to say his fears too loud.

 _"Then you better avenge me if I do die."_ He turned and she let go allowing him to. He looked at her then decided to allow this one indulgence. He pulled her into him and hugged her. The sound of the door opening jolted her right out of his grip.

" _Rey I heard you screaming…everything okay?_ " They both whirled around to see Poe. Rey looked like she just got caught in a scandalous act and Ben was already plotting how to beat Poe up…if he could grab a pillow surely he could punch the stupid pilot.

"I hate him." Rey scoffed at that.

 _"I'm fine Poe, just a nightmare…we are still good for training tomorrow?"_ Kylo hoped the pilot would take the hint and kindly see himself out.

 _"You're sure? You were screaming bloody murder…I get nightmares too from when…"_ A growl came from Kylo…knowing what he was going to bring up.

 _"He's lost you know…Kylo-Ren…he's just trying to find his place in the Force like me…"_ Kylo felt a small smile tug on his lips. She was defending him. Sort of.

 _"So that makes it okay? He was in my HEAD REY."_ He's never seen the cocky pilot so exposed before, even during his torture he tried not to crack.

 _"He's in mine too…"_ Kylo then felt really uncomfortable. She looked rather tired in that moment. He could feel her vulnerability, her sadness, and it sliced through him. And he felt sick…he felt horrible at that moment for everything he's done to her.

"Because I'm nothing but a monster to you, isn't that right?" He snarled the words into her ears. He needed to leave. He didn't need to hear her speak of him like she used to. Cold, harsh words that even back then sliced through a bit of his armor. She looked at him and could tell that she would return to him soon to speak again. Could she feel his guilt? Did she know him being the cause of some of her pain ate him up inside? He looked at Poe, tempted to kill him right there for ruining a simple moment with Rey. But Kylo knew he was the only one to blame, which angered him more. Kenobi was right…the bond gets stronger as they keep allowing it to connect them. Quickly Rey faded and Kylo was back in his room. Alone. He felt Rey's unease and anxiety. Kylo wondered if the pilot was still there if she was opening her heart to him. He could feel the pilot had feelings for Rey. The depth of them was still unknown to Kylo but he would find out. He could still feel the warmth that her body radiated, how she snugly fit perfectly under his chin. He thought about what old Kenobi had said to him. He was rapidly approaching another difficult task…he sensed it had something to do with Rey. Was she going to be in danger again? Did he miss his only chance to truly be with her…should he have taken her hand in the Throne Room? He didn't want to continue without her…if she decided to stop the Bond because it was starting to get stronger. He would go insane…that much he knew. Did she just put up with him? Has she accepted he couldn't be saved…will she give up on him eventually? What if he's just doomed to watch her go through her life and he'll never truly be a part of it? Just some tortured memory resurfacing? Thoughts swirled through his head. He breathed in and tried to stop them, quiet them at least. She had hugged him, that had to mean something. He held her close, it felt so real. He needed to think about where he stood now more than ever before. Then he would talk to Rey about their situation.


	6. Torn

**Here is another update! School is officially out for the summer, however, I'll be doing my thesis over this summer. Hopefully, before that picks up I can get some more chapters written so I can keep with weekly updates for y'all. As always, leave a review if you want! Enjoy!**

* * *

 _And the bittersweet of every new defeat_

 _Is I'm stronger than before_

 _Baby, on my knees, but I still believe_

 _These broken wings will soar_

 _Undone, my silhouette, it's all that is left of a broken heart_

 _Leave all my regrets to sink like shipwrecks_

 _Through oceans dark_

 _Silhouette by Birdy_

* * *

Rey swiped at Poe again, elegantly swirling her staff around her, envisioning a duel ended saber instead. They both couldn't sleep after admitting how their pasts haunted them. And Rey felt his anger and guilt, so she suggested early training to try to distract her from going to him again. She hated when he flipped from Ben to Kylo in instants he would go from a gentle, reserved man to remnants of the creature that wore a mask. Just thinking about him made her increase her pace, not even paying attention that it was Poe on the other end of her staff. She was viscously swiping at images of Snoke, Kylo-Ren, and even herself.

"REY!" That caused her to stop her staff right before delivering a blow right to Poe's neck. She blinked and looked at her friend. The ghosts from her nightmares vanished and all that was left was Poe on the floor looking up scared out of his mind.

"Um…sorry Poe…when did you fall?" She slowly lowered her staff, still rattled by her own demons swirling inside her. She held out her hand to help him up.

"You almost broke my ankle with a blow from your staff and you're seriously asking how I fell?"

"Poe…I didn't…I…"

"Hey, I'm all good…sometimes you need to fight away ghosts…I get it." She pursed her lips and sighed.

"I shouldn't have let my…I can't always control…he's always just a thought away." Sighing again she just admits how close he always is in her mind. Poe nodded and offered her a towel.

"Do you want to talk about why he helped save us? I mean…it wasn't…I'm grateful for his lapse in judgement…but…" She liked Poe a lot, he was kind, sometimes a little rash. Rey knew he's been dying for answers since she awoke from her stint in the medical bay.

"I think…there are some things I should share with you all. About what happened when I was away and before I arrived at Crait." Rey stood up headed towards the door. "After breakfast, gather Leia and Finn. Chewie can come if he wants but he knows some of it already." Then she left, heading straight for her chambers to wash off before eating. She was angry at herself for almost seriously injuring Poe over what? Ben? His emotions were all over the place this morning. She didn't want to reach out to him. She was tired of this. Her own conflict was enough, she didn't need to feel his as well. Rey stepped into the wash station and felt the hot water burn her skin. She scrubbed and scrubbed, hoping to get the sensation of his arms off of her skin. But it was no use, just like her mind. He was a permanent fixture. Sighing she got dressed again. She did that a lot these days, sighed in defeat over this bond. She wasn't in the mood to put her hair up so she left it down. Looking in the mirror she reflected on how her life had changed in just one year. She was back on Jakku but entirely changed from when she last was here. She stopped for a moment, feeling him reaching out in her mind. A simple caress through the force, but she shoved him away with a force that she felt his confusion and hurt over it. She didn't care, Rey was done caring. She stood up and headed out to the mess hall. The base was a small one, but the Rose girl managed to get many defense systems back online. She entered and her eyes landed on Poe, Finn, and Rose.

"You look…um…what's with your hair?" Poe scowled at Finn's question.

"I think you look nice with it down," Poe said while giving her an encouraging smile. She gave them a weak smile. Honestly, she just wanted to look different for once, erase the Rey that _HE_ was used to seeing. Maybe later she'd let him catch a glimpse of her like this.

"Didn't feel like putting it up that's all." She sat beside Poe, aware of Rose's eyes on her. Rey didn't have much of an opinion of the girl that was glued to Finn's side since they returned from Rodia.

"Rey, everything is set for the meeting, is it okay if Rose comes?" Rey flicked her gaze from Finn to the girl. Tempted to pick her mind to see if she could be trusted, she flinched at her own thoughts. The only time she did that was against Ben, well Kylo-Ren, during her torture. She was unsure if she could do it gently. But what did she have to lose…asking would upset Finn and Poe. She could feel they trusted her. She could feel Rose didn't know what to make of her. So Rey gently reached out into the young girl's mind. Images flooded her: One of watching a ship exploding, one of a kiss with Finn. She felt Rose's hate for the First Order and for Ben. Rey withdrew from her mind and still stared at her.

"Earth to Rey…did you hear m-"

"I heard you," Rey answered Finn.

"So…can she come with? Leia trusts her." That bristled Rey.

"Good for Leia. Can I trust her?" Finn always wore his emotions too close to the surface, especially when it came to the people he cared for. She was grateful that he was always there for her, but now all she needed was an answer that was factual and not based on his feelings for this girl.

"WHAT? Yes, of course, you can! What kind of question is that?" Finn shot back.

"Poe?" Rey could sense Finn was too close, especially since they shared a kiss.

"Yeah, she's trustworthy. She's been on a mission with Finn." Rey sighed and looked back at the girl. Sensing Ben reaching out again.

"Fine." Rey was too emotional to keep him from slipping through. So she quickly stood and briskly got to a secluded hallway. Ben appeared, reclined on his bed. Rey was used to seeing the cold walls that would appear with Ben.

 _"You're troubled."_ He tried to meet her eyes but Rey looked away.

"Because of you." She bit back at him.

 _"I'm sorry…for-"_

"Who is saying that? Ben or Kylo?" Rey cut off his apology. It felt good to finally take out some of her anger on the source.

 _"You're mad now."_

"How perceptive you are, Supreme Leader." She let the venom drip off of her words.

 _"Rey…look at me."_ Rey turned and looked at him, jaws clenched, wanting to grab something and throw it at him for making her so confused. _"I found out some more information about the bond."_

"Like what?"

 _"The more we use it, we won't be able to sever it. It will be able to controlled more as well."_ Rey looked at him and now really wanted to throw something at him.

"So we are stuck with each other? I have to explain why you spared me, everyone is asking…and they are gonna ask if you'll do it again…what will you do the next time we meet?" She looked at him, waiting for the response.

 _"I don't know…what will you tell them?"_

"The truth."

 _"WHAT? You can't. They'll lock you up! Or worse…"_ Rey glared at him.

"We aren't the First Order. I can control when I let you in."

 _"The bond is already strong…I can see you are not on the Falcon, meaning the Resistance found a base somewhere."_ She grabbed one of the laps from his table and hurled it at his head. Tears threatening to fall.

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING BEN?!" He looked scared at her reaction. She forced him out and stormed to her room. Ben appeared next to her again.

 _"Rey…I won't tell…I kept you safe…I'll always keep you safe."_ She was opening her room, not even fazed her could follow her around now.

"You can't…it's the First Order or me, Ben. One will win out and frankly, I'd rather know now if you plan to eventually kill me. Then I can at least be ready to fight you." She held her breath. Hoping that he would choose her. All she wanted was for him to pledge to her.

 _"You. I will choose you every time Rey."_

"Then why do you torture me?" That startled him.

 _"I don't…I never truly did…"_

"You're light years away and I'm here…and I don't even know what we are. Enemies? Friends? Two people forced to put up with each other? I never know how you're going to react to my presence…this is the cruelest form of torture!" She was yelling at him again. She just wanted him to admit that even he didn't know. Rey felt his hand brush her hair away.

 _"I like your hair better up. Rey…no matter where I am, I will always choose you."_ He grabbed her hand and felt his lips on her knuckles. Rey met his eyes then he was gone. Her heart felt like it was going to fly out of her chest, and she could feel his lips on her knuckles still. A knock sounded on her door, she tried to collect herself. She quickly tied her hair up into a bun. The door opened to reveal her friends.

"My dear Rey, how are you? Did you find the information you sought?" Leia waltzed into her chamber first.

"Yes…there are crystals on Christophisis. I need to start looking into the planet." The rest trickled in. She felt Finn was mad at her for just bursting out of the mess hall. Mad that she was hiding something from him. "There is something else I wanted you to know…I don't know how to describe it…"

"Take your time my dear." Leia smiled kindly. Poe looked like he was eager to finally find out about why Ben acted the way he did on Rodia. Finn seemed put-out by the fact she didn't come to him first.

"I…I have a Force bond with Ben….Kylo-Ren." She hated his made-up name. It felt foreign and horrible on her tongue.

"WHAT?" Poe looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

"Is that why he acted like a lovesick loser on Rodia?" Finn simply asked he was leaned against the wall. Rose alongside him just watching and observing. Rey closed her eyes and sighed.

"You call that lovesick? Possessive is what it looked like." Poe shot back. Finn was about to say something back but Leia beat him to it.

"Boys…let Rey speak again." Leia hushed them. The boys looked to Rey, she took another calming breath before starting the whole story.

"It started when I was with Luke…I was so alone. Luke barely was helping me at the beginning, I eventually won…wore him down. I was lost and hurt and felt like I was letting the galaxy down. One night…he appeared. Like something out of a dream. At first, I thought it was until it happened again during the day…it's only getting stronger. We touched for the first time…and we both saw visions of the other turning…I went to him on the lead ship…hoping he'd come with me…back to the Light. He killed Snoke because he asked Ben…Kylo…to kill me. Ben couldn't do that so he killed Snoke instead. We fought alongside and defeated the Guard…but when he asked me to rule with him…a part of me almost agreed…so close to taking his hand. My dark side…but I told him I couldn't follow him on that path…we both tried to force the saber…it broke causing a huge force to emit. It knocked both of us back, I woke first and fled to Crait…hoping I wasn't too late. This bond…I was hoping after Snoke died it would dissolve but it hasn't…just keeps getting stronger." She didn't want to look at any of them not after admitting to more than just Finn about the Darkness the lurked below her Light.

"Why is it getting stronger?" Rose spoke this time around. Rey looked at everyone and sighed.

"The more we connect via the bond, the stronger it gets…it can't be severed anymore. It's too strong." Finn came and sat down next to her, Rey sensed jealousy in Rose over this action.

"Rey…you've been talking with him haven't you?" Rey felt the tears and looked at Finn since he knew of her conflict with the Darkness.

"He's the only one that understands Finn…the constant battle between the urges of the Light and Dark of the Force…I'm sorry…he knows we found a base somewhere…he can see and interact with my surroundings now…and I with his. I threw a lamp at him earlier."

"You're battling with the Dark side? Rey…" Leia looked concerned and before Rey could respond someone else started speaking.

"GREAT. Now we have to move!" Poe grumbled. "There's no way you can stop this bond?"

"It's draining to fight it…especially now. That's why I left the mess hall earlier." Rey was just staring at her hands.

"What did he say to your changed surroundings?" Leia spoke again, calm and determined.

"He said he won't find us…since it would put me in danger." Rey met her eyes and was surprised to find Leia smiling.

"He cares for you…Poe said he seemed possessive over you but it's not quite like that is it? He can relate to you…the battle between Light and Dark…you're probably the only person who has fully understood him." Rey was startled by the confession from the General.

"I think he's afraid that if he holds me too tight I'll leave, and if he holds to loose I'll slip through his fingers. Either way…it's him losing me that he's scared of."

"Can we exploit this feeling for you?" Rose spoke up again.

"Exploit it? No…that's…this is the only thing that he's choosing for himself…if I trick him…we could lose Ben forever." Rey glared at the girl for even suggesting it.

"I meant, Is there a way for you to like silence your Force signature for a while…causing him to come find you…if he truly cares for you…he'd come find you. Oh like false signal! You can do that with tracking signals on ships…maybe it's the same for your weird Force Bond." Rey went to tell her to shut up but it was actually a good idea.

"That would give me a chance to go to Christophisis and build a new saber…since I have to be alone for that mission…" Leia stood up and made her way to Rey.

"This is a big risk Rey if Ben comes and you are not here…he will assume we did something to you. Or he may not come at all." Rey stood up then and looked at Leia.

"Then I have my answer…he said he would always choose me. But if he doesn't come then…I'll be ready to face down Kylo-Ren…not Ben." Leia smiled and hugged her.

"Seems like you have research and perhaps some more training to do? Force training I think…" Rey nodded and watched the General leave.

"I'm rooting for you, Rey. If you need a girl to talk to…my sister was obsessed with boys so I heard a lot from her." Rose offered her hand, like a peace treaty of sorts. Rey looked at it but shook it, knowing that it would make Finn happy.  
"Thanks...he's not a typical guy though."

"All guys are the same, Rey. Trust me on this." She smiled then looked at Finn and Poe. "Regardless if they say they aren't a typical guy…they are." Rey crinkled her brow but nodded. Storing that nugget away.

"Anyways…how are you gonna fake your signal?" Poe always brought things back to plans.

"I'll dig through some of the old texts I have…meditate…I'll try to only talk to Ben in my room from now on…so he won't see much of the base."

"Good idea, I would hate to have you locked up." Finn punched Poe in the arm instantly. "OW Finn it was a JOKE. Like anything would hold Rey if she really wanted to bust out…especially if what I heard was true that she's like half Light and half Dark." Rey actually laughed at that, because it was true but also it felt good to talk to her friends.

"Okay, give me a text to start flipping through. Don't look at me like that Rey, family helps each other."

"Yeah…if we each take a book then that's four books at once instead of you just going through them." Rey looked at them and smiled again, before giving each of them an old text. It felt good to be with them, she felt normal…like the time before the Force Bond.

Rey awoke to crash. She jolted awake and looked to see Finn accidentally kicked her table and her broken saber pieces fell along with some of the Jedi texts. She slunk out of her curled up ball state of sleeping to pick up the items. Looking at the broken saber made her heart constrict, they all must've dozed off while tearing through the old texts for some information on Force Bonds. There were only a few books they didn't get to. One seemed to be calling to her. It was a deep red color with grey swirling on the cover. She grabbed it and noticed a familiar symbol on the side of it. Where had she seen this before? The wings surrounded a sword of some kind, the sword had a star on it. Rey furrowed her brow trying to recall where she saw this. Then a fragment of a memory rose, on the island with Luke…this symbol was on the floor of that cave. This book had to hold secrets…she looked around her room to see all her friends sleeping. Not wanting to awake them with a light, she slunk out of her room and to the mess hall where the lights were almost always on. Once she arrived, she quickly sat down and delicately opened the book. She silently was hoping for something…anything to give herself hope that just because there was darkness in her, she wasn't going to eventually drown from it. The blue book that she was reading didn't provide these insights. It was just some old guy's diary. Though she could relate to the struggles of the Darkness. The first page had a long passage on it.

 _Grey Guardian Knight Code:_

 _There is no Dark or Light,_

 _There is only The Force,_

 _I will do what I must to keep the Balance._

 _There is no good without evil,_

 _But evil must not be allowed to flourish._

 _There is Passion, yet Peace,_

 _There is Serenity, yet Emotion,_

 _There is Chaos, yet Order._

 _I am the wielder of the flame, the protector of balance._

 _I am the holder of the torch, lighting the way._

 _I am the keeper of the flame, a soldier of balance._

 _I am a Guardian of balance._

 _I am a Knight of the Force._

Rey took a moment and processed what she just read. She let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding in. This book…was the handbook for the Grey Knights? Rey blinked a few times, collecting her emotions before reading the passage again. This must be the code they swear by before being initiated into the order. She flipped to the next page, eager to find out what else this book had in store for her. Perhaps old teachings in the Force she could use…probably no lightsaber tricks though. Though Luke always said the lightsaber was just an extension of herself.

A metal tray hit the table startling Rey from her reading. She looks up to see Finn, Poe, and Rose. She smiles at them.

"Rey, have you been reading all night?" Finn asked while sliding her the extra tray he got. Her stomach growling in appreciation.

"Yeah…this book is fascinating! And I found out how to tether my aura to an object! Here listen to this guys. _The Bond is great and a blessing from the Force. Few are granted this great gift. Many things can be achieved through this Bond. The ability to communicate over great distances, the ability to feel each other's emotions, and lastly the ability to locate each other. Each ability grows with the Bond. Tethering force auras to objects is beneficial should separation occur. The aura is weak since it is not attached to a living thing, but it is strong enough to be a torch guiding the lost one back to the Bonded partner. Tethering is a taxing process and should only be used if necessary. For the one without their aura, the Force is much harder to manipulate, requiring them to lean more on their physical means of protection._ They go on to talk about the other abilities for a few more pages. There are dozens of other passages talking about different Force techniques." Rey was buzzing with excitement.

"So does it tell you how to tether…and reverse it?" Finn looked worried but Poe and Rose seemed to mirror her excitement.

"Yeah…mediating and using the Force. The mediation is a deep one…like a deep sleep and when you awake…I'll feel drained and raw but I'll be fine."

"I don't know guys…leaving Rey exposed like that then have her go to some planet that we can barely gather intel on…doesn't seem like a good idea."

"I'll be fine Finn! They said the force is just harder to manipulate…I'll focus really hard to the crystals…I'm not saying it won't be easy but this is the best bet we have on me building a lightsaber while getting Be-Kylo-Ren here without him knowing I'm building a new one in the first place."

"I agree with Rey…we don't have many more options here Finn, aside from sending Rey off somewhere so Kylo-Ren doesn't accidentally hear or see something to benefit the First Order."

"She could bring Chewie or the other droid that's fond of her with her," Rose suggested, probably hoping that will calm Finn down a bit. But Rey just shook her head at that statement.

"I'm not taking the Falcon…it's too recognizable. I'll take an X-wing and R2. Get in and get out. I trust the Force will still guide me to the crystals even in that state." Finn and Poe made a face. "Guys, remember I have to do this alone…and if there are no sympathetic people on this planet…it would be better if I didn't have a ship that screamed 'Resistance fighters'."

"I suppose you're right…" Finn sighed in final defeat on the subject, knowing Rey had made up her mind and nobody was going to change it at this point. The next part of the plan was to find as much as they could on Christophisis and have Rey start working on her Force abilities. They ate the rest of breakfast in casual conversation.

Later, when Rey was mediating, she felt his pull. Groaning she cracked one eye open and there he stood.

 _"You are…brighter these last few days."_ His observation was true since she read that book, Rey had a renewed hope and sense of belonging in her Force abilities. She tried out a lot of different moves, Poe and Finn graciously accepting the role of targets. Unleashing a new power she didn't even know she had.

"Um, thanks?" Rey knew she had to keep her plans close to her heart otherwise, Ben would be more than angry at her.

 _"Why?"_ He looked at her with soft eyes and she hated when he did that.

"I've finally been training more regularly that's all. Feels good to envision beating you in the head with my staff." He scowled but she knew he could sense she was teasing him.

 _"Yes, I'm sure loads of people do that. Rey I…I…"_ Rey now looked confused, she has never seen him this anxious before. They had grown closer, Ben telling her about the force ghost incident was enlightening. She was actually trying to summon Luke when he appeared before her. Going to ask if she was doing the right thing, risking losing Ben altogether. But he appeared first before she could get any guidance from her old Master.

"Ben…did you mean it when you said you would always choose me? Because there will be a time when you will have to act…I can sense it…and I don't want to find out you lied to me." Ben soon was kneeling down in front of her. He was gloveless again, which meant when he grabbed her hands, tiny little heat waves were sent up her arms. He went to speak but she cut him off. "I don't want just words, Ben, if that's all you have for me…you'd better just go." She felt his panic as he clutched her hands tighter, she looked away. Knowing that when the sun rose tomorrow…he would have to act on those words. Her aura would be tied to that broken crystal…a faint heartbeat calling to him as she set off to build a weapon. Closing her eyes she muttered her final words to him, hoping that this wasn't her goodbye. "I forgive you…for choosing what you had always known over something new. But I also learned something that day Ben. I can't hate you…even if I tried…but I'll never let myself get hurt by you again. I can't let my forgiveness become foolishness." She leaned over and kissed the scar she gave him on his face. Then with a breath, the closed the connection with a delicate touch. When she reopened her eyes, she was alone and felt another little part of her already crumbling heart…break a little bit more.


	7. Gone

**Oh my gosh!Sorry the update iswayy late...I totally forgot today was Wednesday. Anyways enjoy! As always please feel free to leave a review and click that Fav/Follow box!**

* * *

 _We were one in the same_

 _Running like moths to the flame_

 _You'd hang on every word I'd say_

 _But now they only ricochet_

 _We were falling away_

 _You left me with a bittersweet taste_

 _But when I send my heart your way_

 _It bounces off the walls you made_

 _Ricochet by Starset_

* * *

I don't want just words, Ben, if that's all you have for me…you'd better just go.

I can't let my forgiveness become foolishness.

I'll never let myself get hurt by you again.

Her words bounced around his head for the whole next day. He didn't get any sleep. Her broken eyes haunting him more than those his nightmares are made of. He was distracted. Kylo-Ren didn't care anymore about what his Supreme Leader duties were, he closed himself off in his chambers. Her calm, melodic voice was different that night. When he appeared, she looked so peaceful. He didn't want to disturb her, his eyes raking over this new Jedi look. Her legs were covered by tight grey leggings. She kept her arm wraps, but they were a light grey this time around. The tunic she was wearing was padded, and fit her like a glove. It looked like armor of some sort. The tunic was snug and exposed the legging waist down. The middle section was draped on her lap, but Kylo-Ren bet it fell to the floor if she stood. There was a hood attached as well he noted. He wondered where she got this unique armor from, surely the resistance didn't have resources to get this high quality Jedi armor. Her aura was radiant, it had been for days. He was curious about why. And instead of concrete answers he got…what felt like a goodbye from Rey. He was surprised at how gently she closed the connection, she had truly been training. He watched her dissolve away. He was still in a state of panic, he didn't know what he did this time to make Rey close him off. His mind naturally wandered to other options, like she was in a relationship with that bloody pilot. Or the resistance was locking her up. Or the worst of all, that she had given up on him. No longer able to hope for something he couldn't guarantee. More pain crept into his chest, Kylo-Ren didn't know how much of a heart he had left…but whatever was left was barely holding together. He would give her the space she seemed to need. Then he vowed to banish any doubts she has of him. They were two souls destined to be bonded and damn it if he were to let her throw away destiny. He had taken yet another meal in his chambers. Hux came and banged on the door, demanding he come out and see to his duties. Kylo-Ren waved him off. Now it was well into the late evening. He was getting ready for bed, unsettled by the silence he was experiencing. Usually he could feel her emotions but today there was nothing but his own. He decided that tomorrow he would reach out to her. He had to. Kylo-Ren decided that perhaps some sleep will benefit him.

 _Ben rolled over in bed, reaching for his lovely Rey. But instead of her warm body, he got cold sheets. He jolted awake, squinting in the dark. Panic running through him. Where was she?_

 _"Rey? Love?" No answer. Panic was starting to set in. Ben had just got her…they finally were able to live the life they wanted. He jumped out of bed and scrambled to the open window. Someone took her. Someone took the only happiness he had in this cruel world. He ran inside to get his saber and found a note on the table._

 _Ben,_

 _I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. This running from the First Order, the hiding from the Resistance. I can't…this isn't who I am. I don't expect you to understand. But I'm going to help put an end to this madness. I don't know if I will see you again._

 _May the Force be with you,_

 _Rey_

 _Ben dropped to his knees, the pain of his_ heart breaking _, forced tears to fall staining the note. She left him. She was gone and didn't know if she will return. Gone._

Kylo-Ren jolted awake, the same crushing feeling lingering well beyond his dream. He let a sob choke out from his throat. He felt the tears falling, as he struggled to regain composure.

 _You know what you have to do right?_ The voice startled him so much Kylo-Ren fell out of bed. He poked up to see a man with olive skin and long wavy brown hair. His eyes looked just like Uncle Luke's.

"Who are you?" The force ghost laughed and laughed at his question.

 _My own grandson can't recognize me as my true self?_ Ah, the hurt. Kylo's eyes almost bugged out of his head. Anakin Skywalker…his grandfather was right there. _Oh, would you stand up? Dry your tears._ Kylo did what he said and sat back down on his bed.

"But I didn't…call you here…how are you here?" The man smiled and sat down next to him.

 _Ah but your emotions called me…tell me what is making you cry._

"She's…Rey…I can't feel her anymore. And she said things…that made it sound like a goodbye. But I don't want a goodbye from her…EVER."

 _Yes, the Bond is great between you two. She reminds me of…Padme. What do you think happened to her?_

"She's given up on me. Tired of hoping for me to join her I suppose…or someone made her cut her ties to me."

 _She didn't cut the Bond, Ben. It was far too strong for her to do that._

"So why can't I feel her?!" Kylo growled at his grandfather.

 _This Rey…she has the same determination that made me fall for your grandmother you know. She had the aura to her, that just made you want to throw everything away to be with her. I would've followed her anywhere…_

"What happened?" Anakin looked at him with the saddest eyes.

 _I was selfish, I wanted power so I could protect her. Everything was about her. If I couldn't protect her then no one could. I needed the power to keep her safe. Though I didn't see what it cost me until too late. She refused to follow me, I had seen her talking to Obi-Wan more…I thought that…anger consumed me until I was so deep into the Dark I couldn't even see what I was doing. I killed her…the only thing in my life worth living for and I destroyed it. I fed into every whisper Palpatine fed me…claiming the Republic killed her…it was the Jedi's fault that she was dead. Until Luke came…and gave me…my Light back. I'll spend eons wishing I had done so many things different…power is never worth losing everything for. Though I suspect you have figured that out._

"It is lonely…no one trusts me…the only one who did…was Rey. And I lost her too."

 _No, you didn't…not yet. Don't repeat my mistakes Ben…you can still choose her…_

"She doesn't want me to!"

 _Oh, Ben…do_ n't _be so blind. I've been watching her too…she wants just you…just Ben._

"The Resistance hates me…my own mother-"

 _Loves you still. So don't think she doesn't…a mother's love is pure and true. I lost my mother you know? You can fix so much Ben. You only have to determine what is more important._ Kylo-Ren nodded and the ghost gave him a pat on the back before disappearing. A sigh escapes his lips and he runs his hand through hair. He hasn't tried to reach out to Rey. Maybe he will do just that. If she slams him out then maybe that's his answer. He took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves. Kylo-Ren closed his eyes and tried to find her aura. He furrowed his brow when he wasn't able to, trying harder this time he found it. It was faint, a small whisper almost. Something was very wrong. It wasn't lively like he was used to, sure it was her aura but…something was terribly wrong. He snapped his eyes open and threw on different clothes. He started grabbing another outfit and shoved it into a bag. He had to go to her. She could be dying for all he knew. He was not about to let that happen. First Order be damned. He made up his mind. She was more important and right now, she needed him. It was early still, he was grateful for that. He didn't want to have to blow Hux out of his path. He marched through the halls with a newfound purpose. He felt, freed, like invisible shackles were just undone. He chucked his bag on the bunk of his ship and headed for the cockpit. His ship was small but had accommodations like a bunk, bathroom, and basic food supply for longer trips in space. Once he sat down and started going through takeoff protocol was when he realized he had no idea where he was going. As he was sitting there, he asked for the hanger shields to go down while he tried to figure out where to look for Rey. That's when he felt the aura…could he just follow the pull? Yes that will be his plan, a crazy plan but it was all he had at this point. With a renewed vigor he set for flight mode. Prepping everything wasn't too bad, since his ship was always ready for flight. One of his perks as Supreme Leader. He smirked when he was launching out of the ship, watching it slowly fade into the distance. He gave a small laugh imagining General Hux's face when a trooper tells him that he's gone. He set his ship on autopilot mode while he worked on disabling the tracing technology that comes on any First Order ship. Last thing he needed was accidentally bringing the First Order to Rey…she would think he did it on purpose. So he needed to rule that train of thought out for her right away. Kylo-Ren had always been handy with ships, his father was to thank for that. So he made quick work of the tracing drive, then promptly shoved it out his trash shoot and into deep space. Just to be extra safe. He made it back to the cockpit and took over the controls, trusting the Force to guide him to Rey. He really hoped she wasn't injured or locked up somewhere. The aura was barely there but as he jetted closer, he could feel it getting stronger. Like when one approaches a fire…the heat intensifies the closer you get.

"I'm coming Rey…just hold on…have hope for a little while longer."

* * *

He didn't know how long he's been flying. After a brief fiasco with Hux trying to contact him through the communication system, Kylo-Ren grabbed his saber and slashed through those wires. He wasn't going back, besides at this point Hux probably already told the Council that he was a deserter. A crime punishable by death. He had laid down for a brief moment to rest. But it didn't work…the same nightmare where he watches Snoke torture and kill Rey. He always arrived too late and the image of her body plummeting to the ground was enough to keep him from going back to sleep. So he took over the flying from the autopilot. He could feel he was getting closer. He was in the Inner Rim, Western Reaches on it…the pull was guiding him straight to the Jakku system. She did not go back to that planet did she? A growl came from him as he was heading straight at that damned planet. The planet where he powers were awaken and the start of all this madness. Now here he was heading back to the planet in search for her because he's not about to let her just leave him again. He couldn't handle her looking at him like she did on Crait again. He landed past a bunch of ruined Old Empire machines. As he opened the door, he felt nervous. What if she didn't want him? What if this was a huge trap and he willingly waltzed into it? No she wouldn't manipulate him like that…Rey was too pure for that. She couldn't do that to someone she cared about. Though he didn't doubt that she would be capable of such trickery. He started heading for an old hanger of sorts, an old base. Knowing this was the right place he set off. He finally was choosing something for himself, not Snoke whispering in his ears, not his parents telling him this was for the best, not for Luke who deemed he was too far gone…he was doing this for him. The hanger door creaked open…and he was face to face with the Resistance army all pointing blasters at him.

"Kylo-Ren…don't even try anything." the stupid pilot spoke to him.

"If it's all the same to you…I'd like to go by Ben." Then Ben spied the necklace the pilot was wearing. The broken kyber crystal called to him just like her aura always did. "Where is Rey?"


	8. Images

**Another update! And it's not almost late! As always, please feel free to leave a review of what you like/what you think will happen/what you didn't like. Also thanks to all the new people that followed/favorited the story! :)**

* * *

 _Still I want you, but not for your devil side_

 _Not for your haunted life, just for you._

 _So tell me why I deal with your devil side,_

 _I deal with your dangerous mind, but never with you?_

 _Devil Side by Foxes_

* * *

Rey felt strange not having the Force so readily available to her. She had gotten quite used to the hum around her…now it was eerily quiet. R2 was nice little droid to have along with her. He talked about how he went on a mission with Master Luke once to find a Jedi Master on Dagobah. He seemed excited when she told him that he was the droid she wanted to take. Rey was happy to have a droid instead of Finn or Poe constantly fussing over her.

[FLASHBACK]

 _"Do you feel light headed? Should you lay down for a bit?" Finn was slowly coming into focus._

 _"Stop smothering her Finn!" Rose pulled him away slightly. Rey blinked a few times and looked down at the broken crystal._

 _"Someone needs to keep this safe…if it gets…then I will have a really hard time getting my Force abilities back." Poe happily plucked it out of her hand and fashioned himself a necklace._

 _"I'll keep it safe. You do feel alright to fly?"_

 _"Yes. I feel fine. Just…everything is silent again…it's strange." Rey slowly stood up and started to pack up some extra clothes. In that old blue leather bound book, there were sketchings of saber hilts, the parts needed to stabilize the kyber crystal's power._

Over the last few days, aside from worrying about what to say to Ben…in case, it was their goodbye. Rey did what she did best, scavenged up new materials for a dual-sided saber staff. There were records for certain Guardians had them. Rey was very adept with a staff so she naturally wanted to recreate one. However, she was aware of how hard it might be to find two kyber crystals. Christophisis from what intel she could gather was neutral now in the war. Protecting themselves from both the Resistance and First Order was the utmost importance for them. So she didn't really know what she was flying into. The planet was rather beautiful from space, swirling blue all over. Rey had to really focus on sensing the crystals, without her full aura even the smallest use of the Force exhausted her.

"R2 I feel some crystals…let's hope we go unnoticed." Her statement earned her a series of chirps from R2. "Yeah…maybe have the guns ready would be a good idea." She closed her eyes again and let the Force guide her hands. "Luke…please, I know you can hear me…and I know this is the last thing I need to answer all the questions I have…please just help me." And suddenly she really felt the pull by the crystals. Rey smiled and thanked her Master before descending into the planet. Then a few large blasts shot past them.

"Shit…SHIT. R2!" She wasn't skilled in combat and this ship had a zip to it, not like the Falcon. She dodged as many as she could. Then Rey heard the hit and felt them going down.

"BRACE FOR IMPACT R2!" She guided the ship as carefully as one could with a chunk of a wing gone. The sound of metal scraping hard crystal ground was unnerving, to say the least. Rey screamed as the slide across the ground, then thanked the Force that none of her friends were around to see that ungraceful plummet. She was panting heavy and hand her hands gripping the steering so tightly they were practically white.

"R2…you okay?" A whirring noise and chirps sounded out.

"I don't think saying my crash would make Master Luke proud is a compliment buddy." But she did smile. "Well, shall we take a look around?" She emerged and saw the damage…it wasn't horrible. But it would take her a while to patch up.

"Guess the guys where half justified with me venturing off alone huh?" A low whirring noise came from the droid now by her side. She sighed and turned around to see a cave. A pulse was coming from it…the Force was calling her to the cave. She gripped her staff and headed into the cave. R2 wasn't far behind her.

"R2…oh I wish you could feel the harmony in the cave. Oh, it's beautiful!" Her fingers danced on these small crystals.

 _This is a journey you have to take alone._ Those words echoed around her head, bouncing around the cave walls it seemed like. Rey didn't even feel herself walking deeper and deeper into the cave. Rey looked around and gently touched a grouping of crystals. That's when she felt it. The call of the crystals to her own soul. Rey didn't know how long she had been standing there touching the crystals, but R2 made a funny noise snapping her out of the daze.

"R2…tell them I'm okay and that thanks to Luke…we may be home sooner than later." R2 took the order and headed out to the ship. Rey bent down and took out a screwdriver to chip two crystals out. She finally got two out and felt accomplished, it was easier getting parts out than these crystals. She made her way to the mouth of the cave, smiling seeing R2 assessing the damage.

"I got 2 out! Maybe I'll repair the ship first before going on the meditation journey…Well, I think I'll sleep in the cave. How cold does this place get?" R2 answered and told her where all the survival stuff was packed. "Should've packed more blankets…there's no wood on the damn planet either! Ugh…" She hauled a sleeping bag and whatever could pass as a blanket to the cave. She ate her rations, talking to R2 about her times as a scavenger. Soon R2 powered down for the night and Rey was left staring at the night sky. The way the crystalline world reflected the stars was amazing, unlike anything she'd ever seen. It feels like ages ago when her mind was at peace like this, no more sifting whose emotions were whose. No more flinching when Ben appeared when she didn't want him to. Though she had to admit that while his mood swings were horrible to deal with but when he was gentle and kind…being around him was…right. With another huff, she started to get settled into her makeshift bed. Thinking about Ben/Kylo always brought unwelcome feelings and emotions she didn't know what to make of.

Rey awoke when the sun starting peeking through the cave. She added another tally to the wall. She had been here 3 days already. She told the gang that she'd need a week total to do this mission. With the repairs finally completed on the ship, Rey was left to stare at the crystals. She didn't really know how this was going to go down, her Force abilities were weak. A whir came from her companion.

"I know…I'm just scared…of what I'll see." A little zap and chirps came from R2. "OW! Okay…I want to go home too just don't be so pushy…" Rey eyed the crystals again and took a deep breath then grabbed them. Holding both her in hand, she took a deep breath and started meditating. This time though instead of her controlling the Force she let it take her where it wanted to go.

* * *

 _"COME BACK!" She pulled again on the grip this ugly guy had on her. Watching her parents just fly off, leaving her here. "MOMMA, PAPA, COME BACK!"_

 _"Shut up, Girl. I own you now. You scavenge for me…Haisha! Train this whining kid how to survive. If she dies on your watch, you owe me 1 million tokens." Rey looked at the tanned girl with blue hair._

 _"Yes, Boss. Come here kid. You got a name?"_

 _"Rey…"_

 _"Haisha…pleased to meet ya. Let's go…now I have to scavenge to feed both of us." The girl started walking, leaving Rey to follow._

* * *

 _"Haisha…it'll be okay…it's…why did you go there?" Rey was staring at her mentor._

 _"Ah, pipsqueak…do you know the loot in that place? We could've gotten off this hell-hole planet…I'm sorry Rey…I…never knew my parents either…you're my…"_

 _"HAISHA?" Rey shook the girl that kept her alive, sometimes even sacrificing her rations so Rey could 'grow strong'. Rey felt alone again…another person who was supposed be her family left her._

* * *

 _"Touch my AT-AT again and I'll knock that stupid helmet right off you." Rey snarled at the other scavenger. They backed away slowly, all Rey had was a staff but the word got around on how able she was to beat someone down. After they had gone, Rey sat back down and finished her half rations._

* * *

 _"STOP GRABBING MY HAND!" Finn looked startled as they ran towards a plane. Which only got blown up._

 _"The Garbage will do."_

* * *

 _"You know, I'm looking for another person to help around the Falcon…and Chewie seems to like you." Rey felt something she hadn't felt in a long time…a sense of belonging._

 _"No…I have to go back to Jakku…" Since Haisha left, she held hope her parents would someday return. A funny expression on his face told her maybe she was being foolish._

* * *

 _"NO!" Watching Kylo-Ren plummet his saber into Han's chest. But Han grabbed his son's cheek. The hatred that she had long kept trapped was boiling at the surface._

 _She hated him, Kylo-Ren for killing Han Solo. For kidnapping her. Rey hated how easy going Finn was. Rey hated that she had this power but it wasn't enough to get her parents back. She hated her parents the most. Hated them for leaving her to die. Like some stray animal that was a nuisance. Hated them for never returning. Hated that they never loved her. Rey just hated everything at that moment._

* * *

 _"You should go to Luke." Leia spoke to her, and Rey was still struggling with the 'You're the last hope for us' title she suddenly earned. She felt like she was being sent off again. But this time for a greater good._

 _"Alright…I'm taking Chewie with though."_

 _"I don't think he'd let you leave without him anyways…he's loyal to the end. Rey, darling, be safe." Rey felt a little lighter after that._

* * *

 _"Yes good Rey! That was good…now let's meditate…" Rey smiled at her mentor and started to meditate when HE appeared._

 _"MURDEROUS SNAKE!" He looked startled and frightened._

 _"Why is the Force connecting us?" Kylo-Ren simply asked while Rey jumped up and startled Luke._

 _"Rey?"_

 _"I saw him…Kylo-Ren he was HERE…" Luke frowned then stood._

 _"I think we will end training for today. If you see him again…please confide in me. I'm here. The Force has always worked in mysterious ways." Rey again felt the looming hatred subside after Luke's word._

* * *

 _"Ben…I can't follow you down this path…" Pain and sadness ripped through her heart that was already fragile, to begin with._

* * *

 _"I'll always come for you." His hand, gently touching her cheek, before whipping away as the wind blew._

* * *

 _Rey ran towards him, "BEN! You came…you're here…" He looked at her like she was the world._

 _"I'll always come for you." She smiled and hugged him._

 _"How long do I get to keep you this time?" Ben kissed her head and sighed._

 _"It never seems like enough…a few weeks this time, love."_

 _"That's longer than before…"_

 _"Mother is adamant that I'm spending too much time helping with the restructuring…" Rey laughed and looked up at him. The Dark to her Light._

 _"She's right…freshly married and I don't even get to revel in marital bliss." Ben choked on his own air._

 _"I…revel? What has Rose been filling your head with?"_

* * *

 _"Ben…it's not your fault…"_

 _"I can't do anything right!" A lamp crashed to the ground. Rey flinched again and sighed. She hated when this side of him came out. The devil side to her Ben, like a flickering of Kylo still remained buried deep underneath._

 _"BEN. If you throw one more thing I'm leaving." He whirled around and gaped at her. "Close your mouth you heard me. I can't do this anymore! This…"_

 _"You'll run to the pilot won't you?" He growled._

 _"I HATE YOU. I HATE THAT YOU ALWAYS DO THIS." Rey stormed to the washroom and slammed the door. Tears threatening to fall from her face. They were trying to make this work. This crazy idea. Maybe Finn was right…Ben was too torn and fighting his own self to ever change._

 _"Rey…please don't leave me again. Please."_

 _"You have to stop this Ben. I can't handle being on the other end of your self-loathing anymore." She opened the door to see her broken man with a bleeding heart._

 _"This trial…what if they lock me up…or…"_

 _"I won't let them…none of this is truly your fault…you have to cut this crap out. On Jakku, I would've left you already…dead weight. You have to stop pushing me away."_

* * *

 _"Rey…it's time to go…come on stop looking at the sky." She sighed and looked at Poe._

 _"Why do I have to come with? Ben is a better diplomat." Poe groaned at her response._

 _"You're the mighty Jedi that turned the heart of a Sith…they want to meet you not the Sith." Rey grumbled and wished she could just be left alone…with Ben._

 _"Fine…but I'm not going to pretend to be nice. Politicians are gross and slimy and I hate them." Rey marched past them and could hear Poe laughing behind her._

 _"Yes yes…the faster you complete this the faster you'll be back to him." Rey didn't like how Poe worded that. It was no secret her loyalty to Ben was fierce and all-consuming. He's on house arrest currently…but Naboo was beautiful so he didn't mind. Leia kept him busy with policy stuff._

 _"Poe. Maybe you need to play nice." She glared and boarded the Falcon._

* * *

 _"What do I…how do…" Leia was laughing at her son and Rey was trying not to laugh at Ben either._

 _"You won't hurt her Ben…just hold her like Leia…" Rey smiled and Ben looked from her to their daughter._

* * *

 _"BEN!" Rey was running towards him. A few troopers had him cornered. She pushed a few away. One fired and she felt her heart stop. No…they had plans…they were going to build a life after this…NO._

* * *

 _"We'll be a family Rey. You and me…I'll never leave you." Ben's voice calmed her before they stepped into the trial hall. The verdict was in...and Rey was scared to lose him like she's lost a lot of others._

* * *

 _Ben chained to the wall with blood dripping from his mouth locked eyes with hers. "You left me. YOU BETRAYED ME." The cell looked familiar to the ones on the base she left on Jakku. She never wanted to go back. But she did and her demons stared back at her in the form of Kylo-Ren as he slaughtered Ben Solo from within him._

* * *

 _Ben plunged his saber into her chest. "Foolish girl…to think I ever cared for you. You led me straight to them…and now their blood will be on your hands."_

* * *

 _"Rey you need to wake up. Rey! Listen to me…you HAVE to wake up." Luke was shaking her lifeless body._

* * *

Rey jolted awake and was drenched in sweat and her body was almost frozen in place. R2 was nothing but screaming noises at her but she didn't hear any of them. She unclasped her hands, to see two light purple crystals glowing back at her. She looked at R2, who was still making noises and was going in circles.

"What? Slow down…my head…what?" A slower version of all his beeping emitted.

"I'VE BEEN KNOCKED OUT FOR HOW LONG?" Rey scrambled her things together. "Good…I'm sure they are still worried but…yes we need to go…now." Rey pulled out her new hilt and secured the crystals in each port. She activated the saber and both ends shot out to reveal a faint purple glow from both ends. Rey smiled and gave it a twirl, it felt so perfect. She quickly deactivated it and jumped into the ship. They made it out of the planet without any scratches. She quickly dispatched a signal letting the gang know she was heading back…five days later than expected.


	9. Savior

**Hello! I'm sorry to announce that there will be no update next week since I will be traveling overseas, family vacation in ROME! I've never left the country (US) before so this is rather exciting! I can't guarantee an update that following week since I will have my experiment to work on...but I will sure try to get it up some point that week...might be a few days late! Just a head's up for all of y'all so I don't get angry messages upon my return. Alright wow, that was quite the intro this time around! As always: please feel free to leave a review (I find them very motivating)...tell me what you liked/what you didn't like/what you think might happen! ENJOY!**

 **Also, has any other authors noticed that when you're editing a chapter all the spacing looks fine but when you post it some words don't have spacing between them? *sigh* c'mon fanfic pull yourself together.**

* * *

 _There'll be no flowers at your grave_

 _You will get none of which you crave_

 _You are the one who can't be saved_

 _No one will follow your trail_

 _The Drowning by Elsa & Emilie_

* * *

Ben behaved well, all things considered. Sure he almost punched the stupid pilot for not telling him anything about Rey…but he didn't. So that was something. That damn necklace dangled in front of him currently, residing neatly in the middle of the pilot's chest. Why of all the people on this stupid base, did she pick him to protect her aura? It mocked him every time Poe walked in for another round of questioning. Ben had been a prisoner of his own doing for ten days now. And that pale blue cracked crystal mocked him with every new day. _A trick…you fell for a trick._ His mind whispered terrible thoughts. _Fell for a girl that didn't care about you. Where is she now? Watching probably…and laughing at your WEAKNESS._ Some days he could shake them, other days he fed into the darkness. Those days earned him bruises and broken bones from the pilot. Whispering the pilots fears out loud, enticing out the monster that was beneath his calm demeanor.

"Rey still hiding from me?" Ben choked out the question.

"If she knew better. She'd have killed you a long time ago." The pilot shot back, his emotions for Rey were visible and it made Ben mad.

"She could no more kill me than she could you."

"You're going to tell me what Hux plans to do now that he's in charge." Ben rolled his eyes.

"Why would I do that?"

"I'll force it out of you Ben." He growled back. Ben glared at the pilot and looked at the stupid necklace.

"I'd like to see that Poe." The pilot sighed and looked at Ben.

"Just answer the damn question."

"She'll never love you like you want her to." Ben looked at the pilot and only saw a fist flying towards his face. He spat out the blood and grinned. "We all have monsters, don't pretend that you're some holy knight."

"Rey is wrong. You're beyond saving."

"If she is so sure, why isn't she questioning me?"

"Because…we don't…she should've been back 3 days ago." The pilot stormed out, probably upset he finally gave Ben what he wanted. But that was not what Ben wanted to hear. She was missing? Where did she go? Why was she alone? Panic was setting into him. Images of Rey barely clinging to her life flicked through his mind. He blinked them away knowing imagining that won't do him any good. She was strong…the trick…she somehow got her force signature to an object to get him here…so she could go somewhere without him knowing. He had to admit it was very clever of her. But she was vulnerable…without her aura, her force abilities will come much harder for her. The door opened and in walked some girl.

"I um…brought some stuff for your cuts on your face." Ben glared at her.

"I don't need your pity." The girl scoffed and sat down next to him.

"I don't pity you at all. However, goading Poe into punching you isn't the smartest. Use the stuff if you want." She got up to leave and Ben for the first time just wanted someone to just sit there.

"Wait…is she safe at least?"

"Yes. She's safe. R2 said the meditating took a different turn then Rey was expecting…but they are safe." He nodded and looked at the girl again. She had dark hair and was rather short, walked with a bit of a limp…meaning she was healing from something.

"Rey is your friend?" She laughed at that.

"I suppose. Finn adores the ground she walks on…" The mention of the traitorous stormtrooper made Ben scowl. "It's hard to not be jealous of her…but she is nice though a bit untrusting at first."

"You care for the traitor?" The girl made a face but nodded.

"Like you care for Rey." Ben looked at her, waiting for an elaboration. "Don't look at me like that. I don't care if you don't want to admit it…but your actions speak for themselves. I'll try to sneak in some better food. You're not all that bad. Poe holds grudges." Then she left as quickly as she came in. Ben pondered this unlikely truce he had with the short girl. Rey was safe…then it clicked. Deep and dangerous meditation was required when attuning with kyber crystals. That's what she was doing. Ben groaned, no wonder she was struggling…with her Force abilities on the fringe, she had no way to really push back out of the meditation. Ben shoved the gauze away, he should've come to her sooner then Rey wouldn't have been reduced to such drastic measures. His fault…she could easily just slip away, permanently stuck floating through visions until she just withers. The girl didn't hold her word, she didn't return with better food. Another day slowly ended, Ben didn't want to sleep. He knew what would lurk in his dreams, and frankly, he didn't need to images stuck with him.

* * *

Ben was tired. Two more days slipped by slowly, he hardly slept. Images for him stumbling upon Rey's decaying body prevented any sort of restful slumber. The girl, Rose, came back only once more. She frowned at the discarded pile of unused medical wrappings. She gave him some different food, told him he looked horrible and should try sleeping. He laughed a hollow laugh, knowing what awaited him every time he closed his eyes. Poe was back, bringing her aura in with him. Ben hated the pilot. But he was tired of everything.

"Shouldn't you go looking for her?"

"We agreed to only do that if we stopped hearing from her."

"A droid isn't her. She's in danger…she could…" Ben stopped talking.

"What is Hux's plan?" A groan escaped, not this again.

"You care about that when she COULD BE DEAD? You never cared for her. Just saw her as a way to get you information for your precious resistance." Ben spat out at him. How could the pilot be so unaffected? Another punch landed on him, reopening his split lips. Ben tasted the blood and didn't care. He was done trying to be compliant. "Punching me won't bring her back here any faster. Besides one look at me in this state and she'll blame you. Pathetic excuse for a friend you are." This time the punch landed in his gut. Ben coughed and spit out more blood. If she was dead then he wasn't going to stay in this life either. Ben was about to say something else when a voice echoed.

"WHERE IS HE FINN?" Both men looked at the door as it slid open to reveal the cause of his nightmares. There she stood, Rey, like a vision. For all, he knew it was. She looked from him to Poe then she grabbed the necklace right off of Poe. One touch was all it took, once Rey had it in her hand, the overwhelming pull of her aura returned to its rightful owner. Rey flicked her wrist and Poe went skidding out the door. Rey looked at Ben and god she was a vision. Her hazel eyes softened instantly, though he could still feel the anger lurking close.

"What did they do to you?" She knelt down in front of him. Ben just soaked up her presence. Then she touched his face. And it took everything in him not to just start crying tears of relief.

"You left me…tricked me…"

"No, I didn't. You came…" The last part was whispered almost like she couldn't believe it either. He looked into her eyes again. They told the truth, she didn't trick him. Though the reason for her wanting him here still eluded him.

"I said I'd always choose you…I feared the worse so I came…to find you not there to greet me…instead, I was chained up like the animal I am."

"Don't say that…I'm sorry I wasn't here. But I'm here now. Who did this to you?" He felt her anger rising up.

"The pilot…he cares deeply for you." Rey made a face before grabbing the medical supplies. She started pressing a cloth to his cut lips.

"I know he does. Doesn't give him a reason to do this to you. I'll deal with him later." He felt his own anger swell up to the service.

"You did trick me…You come back here to pretend to care for me…then you'll just run to him. Leave me alone."

"Ben. I don't like Poe like that…why do you always jump to the worse case scenario?"

"You don't…but you said…"

"I'm aware of his feelings for me go beyond what I'd prefer yes. Doesn't mean I return them. My heart belongs to another…he's very stubborn and knows how to make me agitated…but he has a bleeding heart that he shows only to me. I'll speak to Leia about getting you out of this disgusting room." She stood and grabbed his chin so he'd look at her. "I'll be back soon. Try to sleep, I can feel how tired your body is. You're no good to me sleep deprived." Her eyes flicked to his lips and for a moment Ben prayed she'd just kiss him. Instead she just lightly traced his lips with her fingers then left. She looked back and flicked her wrists again, the cuffs keeping him to the wall unlatched and she left. His heart was going a mile a minute. Her gentle touches still ghosting over his skin.

Ben was awoken to someone touching him. He was unaware he even fell asleep. He rose to find his mother sitting at the end of his bed. He didn't move or speak. Just watched the old woman. Both just looked at the other, wondering how much things had truly changed. "Rey punched Poe." Leia said with a small smile. "Seems you have quite a high spot on her list of people she'd do anything for."

"He deserved it." He responded.

"That's what she said." Ben looked at his mother again. Not wanting to ask why she was here, but hoping she'll answer anyways. "Rey thinks you shouldn't be treated like a prisoner." He didn't answer. Rey said she'd try to get him out of this room. "She wants to be in charge of you…while you are here…" Leia looked at him like he was a child again. Knowing that he was holding something in and that he should just tell her.

"Still sounds like I'm a prisoner then…though she's better than the pilot for sure."

"She wants you to stay in her rooms."

"WHAT?" Ben looked shocked and then instantly tried to picture the faces on her friends when she suggested that.

"She thinks you wouldn't hurt her. I said there are other ways to hurt someone than physically." Leia frowned and sighed. Ben knew what she was talking about…she was afraid he would break Rey's heart…her damaged, fragile heart.

"I would never cause her pain…I…would rather die."

"That could hurt her." Leia looked at him closely. Ben didn't like that stare, it was like she was trying to figure him out. Ben shifted where he was sitting and sighed.

"Then what would you have me do? I can't leave her…coming here sealed my fate."

"Admit your feelings to yourself at least, son. And find happiness…that's all I want for you…all I've ever wanted." She touched his cheek and gave him a sad smile before standing up. She left him with that. He rubbed his head and sighed. He was in quite the pickle. There was a commotion outside the door.

 _"This isn't your call Poe."_ He knew whose voice that belonged to. His light angel.

 _"YOU'RE BLIND REY. HE'S A MONSTER."_ He could feel Poe's desperation. _"Don't let that weird bond you have…had…cloud your judgement!"_

 _"If he is a monster then so am I! Now move. He's coming with me to my rooms. Leia already approved it."_

 _"You aren't even close to being the same as him!"_

 _"Yes I AM! You don't know the monster I keep chained up. You haven't seen what I could do if I let it out. I know. How do you think I was able to beat him the first time and leave him a scar! Sheer anger and hatred. NOW MOVE."_ The door opened and her anger almost choked him. He looked to see Poe slowly following her. Ben rolled his eyes at the pilot following her.

"I got your bags of stuff moved to my rooms…"

"That was kind of you." Ben eyed Poe, wishing he wasn't here because then Rey would most likely be touching him or sitting close to him.

"Shall we go then?" Ben stood and felt the jolt when she took his hand to guide him. Poe looked at their hands and Ben felt his jealously. Poe didn't follow them to her rooms, which were modestly cute. There was a small living area then a door which probably led to a bedroom. There was a bed in the living area and a few chairs.

"They gave me way too much space so…you'll be in this side…I know it's probably nothing like what you're used to…Oh, you probably want to change." Ben watched rather amused at her nervous rambling. He's never seen her like this.

"New clothes would be nice." He made his way to the bag on his bed. Jakku was hot and the base was only mildly cooler than outside. She showed him the wash chamber, located off her bedroom. He looked at his long sleeved tunic and ripped the sleeves off. Black was already going to be hot enough, Ben didn't need to sweat through his clothes either. He came back out to find Rey putting sheets on his bed.

"So what now?" She jolted back and looked at his exposed arms.

"Um…what?"

"What now Rey…I'm here. What do you intend to do with me?" She blushed instantly then mumbled to herself before responding.

"Um you have to wear this bracelet…it'll prevent you from opening any doors. People don't trust you…can't blame them. You're to follow me on my schedule…my schedule is pretty loose." Ben nods along but feels disappointed somehow when she attached the bracelet to him. It stung as it attached to his skin.

"Still a prisoner then."

"No…think of it as…fine you're a prisoner still but not on lockdown. I'm sorry Ben but this was the only way to get you out of that room." She looked sad in that moment so Ben stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

"I know you tried Rey…this isn't all bad…I get all the time with you." She smiled and looked at him.

"I'm so happy you came…if you didn't…"

"I know." He silenced her before she could finish that sentence. Then created some distance between them. "Did your death mission go well?"

"I…yes it was. Everyone needs to stop thinking I'm so delicate. I'm fine. And now I have a new saber." She smiled almost too dastardly, then ignited a dual sided saber, a lavender color to the beams suited her well. She whirled it around and he laughed.

"You would make a staff…" Rey deactivated it and attached it to her belt. She was no longer in that armor outfit. Her standard arm wraps were there, but a white color this time. Her tunic was a dark grey as were the crop pants.

"You laughed…"

"I am human…they've been known to do that when something amuses them."

"I amuse you?"

"I think you will always amuse me Rey." She smiled at that and he felt his heart start beating faster again. Yes, he was sure this was the right decision, seeing her smile was all he needed. "Where is my saber?" Her smile faded and she sighed.

"Hidden. I know where it is and we can only use them in the training room when we spar. I had to beg Leia to let us spar…Finn and Poe only go so far. I can beat them easily now and not even break a sweat."

"You want to spar with me? They'll let me train?"

"You follow my schedule, I meditate, train, eat, meditate, sometimes I'll sit in on meetings but those bore me. Sometimes I work on ships with Rose. The Falcon always needs fixing." Rey had her arms crossed and looked at him.

"Ah. I won't go easy on you…"

"I know. That's why I like you Ben. Shall we go to dinner? Can't say the food will be up to snuff for you…but they give you TONS. Most food I've ever had served to me." Ben flinched when he followed. He forgot about her times as a scavenger.

"Who taught you to scavenge? I highly doubt that blob did." He was genuinely curious, she hardly ever speaks of her time scavenging. He had a hard time picturing that blob of a creature teaching a small little Rey to scavenge, showing here what would reap more rations. He almost collided into her when Rey stopped walking. Her fists clenched.

"Don't ever ask me that again. You understand me? If I want you to know I'll tell you." Ben struck a nerve for sure. A secret she intended to keep close to her heart. He felt the pain and sadness mix with anger when he asked. There always seemed to be something new for him to discover about her.

"Rey…I'm sorry…thank you for doing this all for me…saving me." She snorted at him. He's grown to like when she did that, meant she had already forgiven him for prying.

"We are each other's saviors Ben." Then she gave him a small smile before grabbing his hand and dragging him into the mess hall after her. Everyone stopped talking and looked at them.

 _Monster!_

 _He should be locked up!_

 _Are they holding hands?_

Rey exuded confidence and Ben tried to mimic it. She drug him over to where her friends sat. Rose gave him a wink while the two boys just glared.

"Does he have to sit with us?"

"Where would you have him sit Finn? Rose doesn't mind."

"Yeah well…fine. Don't talk to me Ren." Rose smacked Finn.

"He is going by Ben and how is what he's doing different than what you did?" Rey and Ben were taken aback by Rose coming to Ben's defense.

"Because Finn didn't murder people." Poe responded.

"He was still a part of it…trained to do it. Sure he flaked but…"

"But I didn't kill people!" Finn's emotions were all over the place. Ben grabbed Rey's hand, to ground him. Her emotions soon were all he felt.

"Snoke had warped his mind, Finn…like Hux's protocol for warping the stormtroopers. I unwarped it some." Rey spoke confidently before grabbing some of her food and scarfing it down. Ben watched as she attacked her meal.

"Rey…no one is going to take it from you…slow down…you're going to choke or something!" Rey looked at him like he had two heads while the rest of them laughed.

"Alright…he's okay…but I'm not going to magically be his friend. Oh word of advice…it's pointless to tell her that. Old habits die hard." Finn told him and Rey looked embarrassed before trying to slow down her eating pace. The rest of dinner, they mostly ignored him. Rey and Rose tried valiantly to include him but the boys wouldn't have it…neither would he. He wasn't here to make friends. He was here for Rey and maybe his mother. That was it. Rey guided him back to their rooms. They were silent as they moved through the halls. Ben was itching to grab her hand again. Once they were in the rooms, Ben grabbed her arm. She stopped walking, he slowly came up behind her. His lips dangerously close to her ear. There were so many things he could say right now. He could feel her excitement. "What do we do now?" She let out a breath of air.

"I usually meditate…or read old Jedi texts…" He smiled and wanted to so badly kiss her neck. But she would probably slap him or tell him that they couldn't do that.

"Then shall we?" He moved away and could've sworn he heard her whimper. Then he felt disappointment for a few minutes while she gathered some books. Her emotions confused him. But he was glad that the bond was still there. He grabbed a book and watched as she flipped through a small red one. Her hair was up in two buns. Her hazel eyes scanning the pages. One of her hands was playing with her bottom lip. Ben could barely focus on his book. Did she always do that? This was worse than when she would appear through the bond.

"Why are you so anxious? It's distracting me." She was looking at him now.

"I'm not…anxious." she quirked an eyebrow up at him.

"Then what are you?" Ben looked right in her eyes.

"Slowly being consumed by thoughts…about you." Rey moved her head closer.

"What about me?"

"I think we should go to bed, Rey."

"What about me, Ben? Tell me. It can't be that bad." She smiled and held her chin in her hand.

"Just that you look very pretty while reading. Goodnight Rey." He kissed her cheek like she did once to him. Before heading to his bed. He didn't hear Rey move towards him until someone whirled him around.

"Goodnight Ben." She leaned up and returned the cheek kiss before skipping to her room. Ben just stared at her door. If he wasn't careful, she could end up breaking his heart just as easily as he could hers.


	10. Trust

**Bless my past self for having a chapter already written so I can post it today. I'm back from Rome and so that means we are back to ~hopefully~ weekly updates. My thesis project will be starting in July so...I may fall behind a tad...but as usual, I will always notify if I plan on being behind on updates. I don't want to leave you hanging for too long ;) Anyways enough from me! Here is the next part. Feel free to leave a review!**

* * *

 _If I was not myself_

 _And you were someone else_

 _I'd say so much to you_

 _And I would tell the truth_

 _Cause I can hardly breathe_

 _When your hands let go of me_

 _The ice is thinning out_

 _And my feet brace themselves_

 _Dead in the Water by Ellie Goulding_

* * *

After the initial shock of the small band of Resistance personnel seeing Ben follow her around, they were soon left alone much like how she was on her usual days here at the base. The only people that bothered to come to see her since Ben becoming her shadow was Leia, Finn, and Rose. Poe only sucked it up at meals. But he no longer came around the training room with his smile, asking for a round or two with his cocky arrogance. Though now that Rey thought about all her interactions with Poe, he was rather arrogant…Ben could get like that too. But Ben could be a lot of things though. Speaking of Ben, she should probably head back to their room. She was outside wandering the ridge by the base. She needed to get away from Ben, from herself. It has been about two weeks of Ben following her around. Rey feeling his increased heartbeats when she smiled, when she touched him, or when she would accidentally brush hands with him in the hallways. It was starting to get to her head...driving her a little insane.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Rey squinted and raised her hand to see Rose marching towards her. Rey heard about what she did for Ben, so they suddenly became friends over a few days. Also, Rey started helping her with ships to get out of her rooms.

"Hey, Rose…did we have ship repair plans?"

"No…you have a mopey Ben problem." Rey groaned and turned her gaze back over the horizon.

"Its hard being around him…our bond makes me hyper-aware of every little shift in his attitude and body. I can feel his anxiety and heartbeat from here." Rose sat down next to her.

"I see how he looks at you. Like you're an angel. It's cute." Rey turned and looked at her friend.

"Yeah, sure he does. That or he's started to think I'm gonna maul him in his sleep! His heart increases rate every time we are alone! How is that normal? He tenses when I touch him…so I don't anymore. Which sucks because I don't know...would I be horrible if I developed feelings for me?" Rose shrugged at her.

"Not that horrible. You see a side to him he doesn't elect to show everyone. He is getting better though, opening up...not being an asshole. Remember when I said he's a guy? And all guys are the same? He probably thinks you don't like him you know like that…but you do. Just tell him. OR…just keep being miserable and hiding from him whenever you can." Rey sighed and scowled at the sand.

"What would you do?"

"My sister would be better at this…I kissed Finn before slipping into a coma for a few weeks. I wouldn't recommend that route." Rose blushed and Rey chuckled.

"Yeah probably…oh kriff." Ben materialized right in front of her and looked from her to Rose.

 _So you disappear…leaving me in your rooms…to sit in the sand?_ He sounded offended which bothered her because she did have better things to do some days that sit around in silence with him.

"I think we should get back Rose…"

"Yeah okay. Hey, maybe we could have a girls night! After dinner, of course, …don't want to miss Poe glaring at Ben the whole time…" Rey rolled her eyes but girls night did sound fun. Even though she didn't really know how to do "girls night". But it would get her away from Ben for a few hours hopefully...which at this point was way better sounding to her.

 _What will I do all night?_

"Yeah that sounds good! Maybe we could invite Kaydel...otherwise, it is just us two..."

"Yeah, she's cool. I'll let her know!" They made some more small talk on their way back, Ben's presence followed Rey until the door to her rooms opened and it dissolved since the real one was right before her.

"You were gone a long time…" He was leaning on the wall while sitting up in his bed, a book in his lap.

"Just needed some alone time that's all."

"Alone time with someone who's not me you mean." Rey rolled her eyes and sighed. She didn't want to deal with this side of him not right now.

"Are you…its just…I'm like hyper-aware of everything you do…it's just getting overwhelming." She gave him a weak smile. He moved towards her, gently placing his hand on hers.

"I'm sorry…I know…I'm sure this is hard for you. I never wanted you to take on the backlash of me being here." He traced a little trail on her arm.

"I knew what you being here would do. That's not what I was talking about it." Ben looked at her. Rey was getting frustrated again. She moved her arm away and went to sit down. "Anyways. I'm gonna hang out with Rose and Kaydel tonight. I might sleep over in Rose's room if it's getting late. I'd appreciate you not dropping in." Ben frowned and looked away.

"I didn't know where you were! I won't search you out tonight…it's clear you want space from me." His voice was cold sounding like it was in that interrogation room a year or so ago. Rey groaned and stood up to grab him. "I understand…everyone I cared for…" Betrayed him, she knew that's what he was going to say. Betrayal or neglect or another word that made him feel justified.

"Shut up. Please…that's not why I want space." Rey was VERY close to him now. She wasn't aware that her hands somehow got tangled up in his. That there were only mere inches apart from being fully touching chest to chest.

"Rey…" His breathed out her name and Rey couldn't bare not touching him. But the look he would have on his face if she did...

"Close your eyes." Rey felt his confusion before it showed on his face, but she smiled when he listened. This was the first time in days that she touched Ben at all. She was going to enjoy it. Her hands slowly traced up his arms, enjoying how his muscles tensed under her touch.

"Rey…" His voice cracked and his eyes stayed shut. Her fingers traced his jawline, which was strong like his father before him. His jet black hair was getting longer, and one of these days she was just going to tie it up like her hair. Her fingers next went to his scar, the scar she gave him out of hate. Her heart hurt knowing that she did that, and she knew that hurt would never go away. It has dulled over the time of Ben being her, now that she was getting to know him and all his sides. Squishing her nerves, Rey stood on her tippy toes and kissed the part of the scar underneath his eyes.

"I never told you how much I hate that I gave that scar to you. We should get to dinner." She moved away from him before he reached out and held her steady.

"I never told you that I like my scar because I reminded me of you…like you branded me yours. May I open my eyes now?" Rey's heart was beating a mile a minute.

"You're not mine…in that sense…" Ben's amber eyes looked at her, burning right through her. The heat of his gaze made her slowly start to blush. She's never had a man look at her like that. He was hers in the sense that she was watching over him and he was her confidant.

"This is not a conversation for today…tomorrow when you return from girls night." He didn't seem nervous…rather very calm.

"Okay…what will you do?"

"Meditate…maybe read…perhaps I'll ask my mother to stop by…though she'll ask more questions about the First Order and I have no more information to give anymore."

"Leia would like to just chat with you…she doesn't think you want to that's why she has those daily questionings." They were just arriving at the mess hall. Ben stopped walking and grabbed her hand as he always did. The tension ran high in the room and Rey knew her touch helped him stay calm. She waited a moment before entering. Poe was glaring as usual.

"Hi, Poe…" Rey gave him a smile, he didn't bother to return it. Finn elbowed him.

"Rey." He grunted while still glaring at Ben.

"Poe…listen…when will you stop giving me the cold shoulder? I miss you." Poe finally looked at her and his eyes were cold.

"I don't have anything to say to you. You're basically a traitor. I'm sitting somewhere else." He got up and then turned right into the chest of Ben. The whole mess hall was quiet, listening to Poe yell at Rey, now waiting for the inevitable fight that seemed to be looming. Most of their small band of rebels had grown used to Ben, indifferent. But the ones who still despised him were the loudest.

"MOVE _BEN._ "

"I think you need to apologize to Rey for you're horrible treatment as of late."

"MY horrible treatment? She FORCED me, literally, out of that room…then parades you around. She's betrayed me…her actions speak louder. She's no friend of mine." Poe went to go around Ben, but Ben was much bigger than Poe. Rey held her breath, praying that Ben wouldn't be rash.

"Licking your hurt and wounded ego isn't a reason to suddenly push her away. Say you're sorry. Honestly, didn't anyone teach you manners?" Poe growled at Ben. Rey was getting anxious. Poe was just about as rash as Ben, which meant he could easily just start a fight before Ben. "Surely you've had girls deny your affections before…or is the best pilot used to just getting what he wants?" Ben smirked and Rey acted quickly because she knew Poe about threw a punch at Ben. Rey leaped over the table and grabbed both of Poe's arms.

"REY GET OFF OF ME AND LET ME PUNCH HIM!"

"Poe I can't…you both will get in trouble for nothing!" She let go of his arms to stand between him and Ben.

"Rey…I just don't get how you could choose him."

"I understand him…all sides of him. I'm not asking you to be friends with him…I'm just saying give him a chance…give me the respect I know you hold for me."

"I would be better for you," Poe whispered that, but Rey knew Ben heard it.

"Poe…please…we are a family, don't go chasing dreams." She felt something weird in Ben's emotions…not despair or confusion…doubt it was doubt. Rey gave him a curious glance and Ben shook his head.

"Show's over people! No one gets to see me beat Ben here to a pulp…" Soon everyone went back to their food. Poe sat back down and Finn was going on about the girls were teaming up against them.

"What do they even do on a girls night?"

"Talk about guys, Finn." Rey and Rose rolled their eyes and Ben looked rather intrigued to hear what else Poe had to say.

"What about us?" Finn asked back. Kaydel sat down right beside Rey and smiled coyly before answering.

"We talk about whose a good kisser, better abs, who we would want to see naked…who we've seen naked. Even…buckle up Finn…who we would have sex with."

"WHAT?" Finn yelled, Ben choked on his food while turning beet red, Poe was laughing with Rose and Rey was shifting in her seat. Is that was they were going to do? Her mind flicked to when she saw Ben shirtless through the Bond, instantly blushing at the thought. Ben felt it because he looked her way and quirked up his eyebrow. She gave him a smile, hoping to silence his curiosity and quickly glanced away.

It was a quiet walk back to her rooms. Ben's hand would occasionally brush up next to hers. Rey was in her room, getting a pillow and blankets. She emerged to find Ben reclined on his bed.

"Um…the message system is over there…should you need me…or if you want to ask your mom to stop by." Ben nodded to her, Rey didn't really know what else to tell him.

"Have fun with the girls."

"It'll be interesting…"

"Rey stop being nervous. Rose likes you and the other girl seems nice enough…though quite direct." Ben was still watching her. Rey knew he could sense her anxiety over doing this simple normal thing. Rey's life has never included a girl's night. There was never time to leisurely waste even at night.

"You're sure you don't need me to stay at all?" He chuckled and got up. He cupped her face in his hands, making her look up at him.

"Yes…now go…talk about boys and be a girl. Not a Jedi, not the Savior of the Resistance, not my personal guard…just Rey." She nodded and was about to turn when he pecked her cheek. "Don't be loud if you do return in the middle of the night."

"Right…I'll try to be quiet…um see you." She left and headed down the hall to Rose's room. She was still trying to process what just occurred when she arrived.

"REY!" Kaydel yelled and hugged her. Rey had a few interactions with the girl, she was kind of like Leia's shadow.

"Um hi."

"Sorry, I'm just so excited! I haven't done a girl's night since I was little…now…well, that doesn't matter." Rose smiled at Rey before they got settled.

* * *

"You want to put what on my nails?"

"Nail polish…here I have a like soft pink sparkly one!" Kaydel was babbling as she started to brush this shimmery liquid on Rey's nails.

"So…can I ask…what's up with the whole battle for your hand?"

"Who would want Rey's hand that bad to fight for it?" Rose was sitting there with her hands all splayed out with a silver shimmer on her nails.

"Oh my gosh you two crack me up…so who would you rather date Rey? Poe or Ben?"

"WHAT?" Rey's jaw was hanging open.

"Date…like kiss…go on cute little outings…" Rey's mind flicked to some of the visions she experienced when she was getting her kyber crystals. Ben. Without a doubt…but it wasn't that simple. She still had doubts about him.

"…don't laugh…but Ben. Even though I know I shouldn't…"

"No one can tell you who to love Rey…that's the beauty of it. We love despite what others see. Besides, he clearly likes you too. The way he stood up to Poe for you…" Kaydel just sighed like she wished it was her.

"Yeah, but he will probably get severely punished for his part with the First Order. Some things even I struggle to look past." Like Han, killing Han even now seems so useless. Though Rey knew his death helped rip open the crack letting her influence in.

"I'll put it this way: some love is worth fighting for. You two are legendary fighters…I bet your guys' love would be like…stars colliding!" Kaydel said while finishing the second round of pink shimmer on Rey's nails.

"Yeah if only we weren't who we are…it's complicated we aren't just us." Rey sighed as she now was waiting for it to dry. Kaydel started doing her own hands now.

"You could be…when it's just you two. Be just Ben and Rey." Rose was tilting her fingers around, letting the gel catch the light when she said that. "It's what Finn and I do on our time alone." That hung in the air for awhile. Rey mulling over the conversation that just happened when Kaydel spoke up again.

"So um…what does Poe like?" Both Rey and Rose looked surprised.

"Uh…ships?" Rey responded, not really knowing what he enjoyed doing.

"BB-8" Rose responded.

"You two don't know?" Kaydel looked disappointed.

"Well…I'm sure…I guess a lot of everything Poe does circles back to the Resistance…training…fixing ships…helping with strategies. Actually, you know he could use someone paying attention to him for him…" Rey looked at Rose, and they both smiled. Rose nodded in agreement with Rey.

"Oh yeah…and you know strategy so that's how you start talking to him! You should sit with us at meals more too."

"You don't think he'll catch on?"

"He's a guy…so no." Rose answered immediately. Rey moved her fingers around now. She actually liked the little shimmer to her nails. _Be a girl, not a Jedi…Not the Savior of the Resistance…just Rey._ Be just Rey she thought.

"Well as much as the floor looks comfortable…I'd rather sleep on my bed," Rey said while getting up. Kaydel agreed and both girls headed their ways.

The room wasn't dark when the door slid open. Her eyes fell to Ben, his sleeping shape on his bed. He left the lights on for her, in case she came back. Rey smiled and remembered Rose's words.

"Ben? Are you awake?"

"Hmm? Rey?" His head poked up, hair all over the place. It was quite the sight.

"Oh…you can go back to bed…just thanks for leaving the lights on."

"Did you have fun?" Rey adjusted the slipping blankets in her arms and nodded. "What's on your nails?" He stood up and walked over to her. All the air in Rey's lungs seemed to dispel out of her.

"Um…Kaydel did it…its like paint for your nails. She said it'd come off in a few days…" She flickered her nails, the shimmer catching the lights again. Ben grabbed her hands and looked at them, blankets and pillow fell to the ground as a result.

"Interesting…" He looked at her then and all the talk Kaydel did about boys earlier flashed through her mind.

"Yes. Well…I'll let you get back to sleep! Good night." Rey fumbled and picked up all the things on the floor.

"Rey…Will you stop?" Ben's voice was strained and she knew her emotions were affecting him. "Come here…" Against her better judgment, she listened. Soon she was back by Ben, the source of every single conflict in her life. "What has got you all…weird?"

"Nothing! I just was thinking about something from earlier…nothing." Ben crossed his arms and glared.

"I can force you to answer me." Rey glared back at his words.

"You even try to get into my head or use the force on me, I'll put you back into your cage." Her anger seeped out and she marched into her room, slamming the door shut. Why did he do this? Flick around between being kind to being cold. Though she did the same, going from calm to roaring with rage around him. She sighed and undid her hair. She could feel Ben's emotions: regret, anger which was probably directed at himself, sadness. Her own emotions mirrored his. If only they weren't who they were…would they be like Finn and Rose? Happily entranced by each other, softly smiling to one another from across the room. Rey was hugging her knees and felt sorrow and longing for a daydream that could never be. Sighing and trying to get her head clear, she finally laid down and did what she always did when she couldn't sleep. Count the scavenge prices for different parts around her.

 _"Ben…we can't do that here…" Rey snapped at him._

 _"Why not? No one is around! One kiss…"_

 _"NO! What if someone sees?"_

 _"Would that be so horrible Rey? You're ashamed to like me just admit it!"_

 _"I'm not ashamed…people won't understand!"_

 _"Won't understand that you like a monster? A vile snake…what else have you called me?" Rey felt like crying. Ben was hurling words at her, and she'd rather just be fighting him in a duel at this point._

 _"Ben…please don't do this…"_

 _"You already did EVERYTHING! I gave up my LIFE for you REY! And now you are…doesn't matter. I'll go back to my cage…like the monster you want me to be."_

 _"Ben…I…" Tears were rolling down her face. Did it matter what people thought? Rey loved him so fiercely how could he think she still saw him as a monster? She reached for him-_

REY! Wake up!" Rey felt the heat of his hands, she caught him, he didn't leave. Her eyes flick open to see Ben standing over her.

"Ben! I'm sorry…I don't know…I don't care what people think…I don't think you're a monster at all. I…" She stopped talking because Ben's face showed he didn't know why she was spewing out the words she was. A dream…it felt so real though.

"You were crying…I felt your heart crying…" Bloody hell, she woke him up via emotions from a dream.

"Oh…sorry," Rey mumbled while wiping her cheeks, they were wet.

"You had a dream about us."

"Yeah."

"What did I do to you?"

"Nothing…I did everything…I…doesn't matter. It was just a bad dream." Rey was hugging her knees again. It felt so real…and it scared her.

"Rey…look at me." Ben's voice was pleading with her, but she didn't look at him. She knew that one look into those blasted amber eyes, and she'd be ruined. Her heart was already in his hands…whether he knew it or not. She didn't know when she fell for the brooding man next to her. Probably between his moments of rage, when he was kind…gentle and caring. When he clearly showed he would do anything for her…when she saw how he beat himself up over her wound. The final seal though…was him coming here…right to her without thinking what it could mean for him. Here he was, right before her…a complex puzzle of a man with more sides than a dice. Rey enjoyed every side of him, understood him…for she was a puzzle of her own. But she couldn't deny that he now holds all the cards…and frankly she couldn't trust him not to ruin her heart for good.


	11. Hearts

***peeks head out from behind couch* sorry the update is two days late...it has been a busy week. So to add onto the fact that I updated late (and didn't tell you all), I'm gonna be switching to updating every other week. My thesis project is in full swing and it is just a lot to juggle right now (plus I'm running into some serious writer's block with this story so this is my last pre-written chapter). Anyways I hope you guys understand and don't stop reading because updates are slowing down for at least the rest of the summer.**

* * *

 _There is love in your body but you can't hold it in_

 _It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin_

 _Tenderest of touch leaves the darkest of marks_

 _And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts_

 _Hardest of Hearts by Florence + the Machine_

* * *

Rey had been distant since her bad dream. Ben felt her guarding herself around him. They no longer really talked about anything except Jedi or Force things. They would train and spar in silence. He started to miss her easy attitude when she was around him. Yesterday she even chose to spar with Poe over him. He watched as she made quick work of the pilot.

"Time for dinner." Rey stood before him, another short quick sentence.

"I'm not hungry." He mumbled back, he stole another glance. Her demeanor was tense, fingers tapping her sides.

"You're not hungry? Are you okay? Do you-"

"Don't pretend to care Rey. I don't know what you saw in that dream of yours but…it had to do with me. Just tell me what I did?" He felt her panic like she's seen this conversation before.

"I care…I just have been figuring somethings out that's all." Ben stood up and moved towards her.

"Either you tell me or I'm going to go back to that cage. I will not just sit here watching you punish me for something in a dream. I'll go back to my role as the monster and you can go back to hating me. Seems like an easier solution for you anyways." He felt the defeat in his words. He'd rip his own heart out for this hazel-eyed girl, who still smells like a desert flower on this damn planet. "Go eat dinner." He gave her a small shove towards the door. He felt her emotions swirling around him, but his own crippling sadness was overwhelming and he knew she felt it.

"I'll be back…if you pack one bag up to leave…I'll chain you in this room." She left and he let his emotions pour out. Tears spilled out like it did when he first couldn't find her aura. He heard the door open and he growled, turning around to find his mother.

"Oh…Ben…why are you crying?" Over his time here, he has rekindled a relationship with his mother, one that he thought was long gone. It took her a while to get over the hump of the death of his father at his hands. But once she pushed through that, the mother he knew returned.

"She's…I can't stay here anymore! She gets close then…closes me out. I can't sit here through it anymore. It will tear me apart. I'm here…all she has to do is reach out!" He stood up and paced, tears still falling.

"Darling…give her time. She's lost everyone she's always cared about, right in front of her eyes. Have hope."

"Hope…that'll she gently rip my heart up?" His mother chuckled.

"You love her?" Ben looked at his mother. He's been scared to say it out loud…he's seen how love can destroy people. Though he supposed he was feeling destroyed either way.

"Yes, I do. I don't know how or when…just that…I'd do anything for her."

"Perhaps you need to show her that. Now I brought food…and judging by your stomach sounds, you are your father's son." He chuckled at that but agreed to eat with her rather than slinking into the mess hall.

"What did Han…Father love the most about you?" Leia stopped mid-bite, clearing her throat.

"Han loved how passionate I got over whatever I had my sights set on at that moment. He also loved riling me up…some of the things he said just to get me to lash back quickly…scoundrel through and through." She smiled and Ben felt that pang of guilt he gets when Leia talked about Han. She shared some memories of when he was a baby. He enjoyed listening to his mother speak about a happier time. Soon she was getting up to leave, a maid came to help clear their plates.

"Have some trust in her…her heart is guarded. It doesn't take a fool to see it." Leia squeezed his hands before leaving. Rey was on the other side of the door when Leia was leaving. "Rey! Ben needs to speak with you." Rey looked at him with raised eyebrows. He gave a small smile to her. The silence the hung soon after Leia left and Rey entered, it was enough to choke him.

"So…you just going to stare at your feet instead of talking to me?" Rey spoke first. She was always was impatient when he would just look at her or just sit there. Ben looked up and sighed, she look a beautiful as ever. Her hair was up in her three buns like when he first saw her in the forest. Even then, he felt a pull to her, though he didn't know how much that pull would change his life.

"How about you tell me why you've been shutting me out again? I didn't come all this way just to have you stop talking to me." Blush crept up her cheeks and that wasn't the reaction he was expecting. He was expecting the angry side to his Light angel. It was rare when it showed, but the beast was always lurking beneath her calm exterior.

"I…it is just…I don't know…I'm scared." He felt her heartrate increase drastically as she spluttered out the words.

"Scared of what?" Ben was confused to say the least.

"You." He felt his heart plummet. She still thought he was a monster. A demon prowling on the weak. "I'm scared that if I let you close…you'll leave…everyone leaves me in some form or another…" She seemed tired then, like revealing this…finally admitting what she held in relieved her.

"I could never leave you. Never."

"You asked once…who taught me how to scavenge since I was very young when my parents traded me…there was a girl. No more older than I am now…brilliant blue hair. Haisha. She was like a sister…she would sacrifice rations to keep me alive…sometime going days without eating because she didn't get enough for two of us. One day…she came stumbling into our AT-AT…leg was dragging behind her. Holding her stomach…she went to loot this very base. Stepped on a mine from…who knows. She had some parts with her. But she didn't make it through the night…she never knew her parents…we never talked about it but she hoped they thought about her like I hoped mine would return. She was all I had…and she was gone because she tried to get better parts to get more rations to feed us both." Ben was sitting beside her now. He suspected she'd never really told anyone about this girl…about how Rey's makeshift family ended because of her. She was crying. "Everyone I've started to care for from then on out…has left someway because they'd known me…Han…Luke…"

"Stop it Rey. Just stop it. Them knowing you didn't cause anything. How could you even think that you just being you somehow leads to death?"

"I don't want you to leave me…Ben some of the visions the Force showed me…my deepest desires…I know what I would lose if I lost you…" She had a forlorn look in her teared up eyes. Her head was turned away from him.

"I could never leave you Rey." He hoped that saying it one more time she'd finally listen to him.

"You say that-"

"I could never leave you because I'd might as well just rip my own heart out in the process." He cut her off not wanting to hear her doubts anymore. It was horrible learning how she always finds herself to blame for life's shortcomings.

"Ben…I…" He just cut her off again, not caring anymore about proper etiquette. He cupped her face in his hands, making her look at him. Then he kissed her, with all he had. It wasn't aggressive, but he needed to show her how much she had a hold on him. Her lips stayed still for only a short moment, before her hands grabbed his tunic. She kissed him back with as much passion before breaking the kiss off. Ben looked at her slightly swollen lips and decided there was no way she could get more beautiful than in this moment…and he'll die trying to find a moment where she was even more stunning to him than now.

"You are everything to me now Rey…the universe would have to rip you from my hands before I would ever think about leaving you or hurting you…all I want is to keep that smile on your face and the light in you eyes for the rest of my life." Her gaze stayed on him for what felt like an eternity. Ben knew he took the roundabout way of saying that he loved the brown haired girl beside him. Regardless, he just admitted it out loud. He fell for her…hard and unknowingly. He let his hands fall to his lap, the long silence was turning into an awkward ending to the night.

"You promise for the rest of your life? Because I would want to spend the rest of my life smiling with you too." He snapped his head up to look at her biting her lower lip. A smile formed on his face, a genuine smile.

"Is it okay…if I kiss you again?" Rey laughed then at his politeness before tackling him to kiss him. A small chuckle sounded from him as his hands found her waist. She broke the kiss off again and soon pinned him to the bed. He knew that determined look anywhere.

"You won't ever leave me?"

"Only if I die." He responded, hoping she'd let him go back to kissing her.

"I have your word?"

"Obviously, I am at your mercy." That got him a smile and a small laugh. She climbed off of him and sighed. Ben knew the doubts still swirled about in her, though hopefully, they were smaller now. He wanted to say 'I love you' so badly but somehow it didn't feel right saying those words to her just yet. Although they were true. Soon they fell back into their normal routine, reading the Jedi texts before bed. Though this time, Rey was snuggled up under his arm while leaning her back against his side. This was a moment Ben would cherish forever. Minutes pass into hours, and he could see Rey starting to nod off. So he quickly scooped her up and carried her to her room. The last time he carried her like this, he had just knocked her out and had no idea what he was getting into.

"Ben? You didn't have to carry me…" However, she leaned her head on his shoulder so he knew she didn't mind all that much.

"I wanted to. Goodnight Rey." She watched him head for the door, he could feel the heat of her gaze.

"Goodnight Ben." He felt light and free. Finally completely happy…a feeling he hadn't felt in a very long time. He laid there, still smiling because he could still feel her lips on his. A feeling, he assumed, he'd never ever tire off. Can someone be addicted to another person? Ben knew if someone could…he would be addicted to Rey. Both of them pulling each other through the dark…both accepting that same darkness was apart of each other. He looked at the door that separated them, suddenly the rooms felt rather large. He sighed and rolled over trying to fall asleep will not be easy since he could feel her still awake, and buzzing with happiness. Though doubt started to creep into his mind, what would tomorrow bring?

Tomorrow came quicker than he would've liked. And it did not bring what he expected either. The door flew open and he peeked up to see Poe storming towards Rey's chambers. He acted on instinct and practically flew between Poe and Rey's room.

"Poe."

"Move Ben, Leia needs to speak with Rey…now." Ben listened and moved aside, Rey was already up and moving towards them.

"Well let's go see what she wants." Poe stopped Ben, making him increasingly angrier with the pilot.

"Just Rey. Sorry." Ben growled then looked to Rey. He wanted a quiet morning with her. One where he didn't have to secretly brush her fingers with his under the table. Rey held up a finger to Poe, indicating to give them a moment in private. The pilot grumbled but left the room, knowing better now to not mess with either force user. Ben looked to Rey as soon as the door shut. He felt something off about her, she was nervous.

"Rey…"

"I think I'll be sent away on a mission…I don't want to leave you here." Ben's cold heart leapt at those words.

"We don't know what she wants…perhaps I will be able to go with if you are sent somewhere." Rey snorted and shook her head.

"You are a defector from the First Order and many of our allies wish for your head to be severed from your body. Personally, I'd rather you stay intact Ben." He'd prefer that too but he didn't like the idea of not being there to look out for Rey. She has a nastily uncanny way of getting herself stuck in rather dangerous situations. "It'll be all fine." She gave him a small smile, but he could feel the ebbing of her anxiety mixing with her nerves. She headed through the door without looking back. Great, now he was stuck in this room with nothing to do. Maybe he'll meditate. Ben went to go sit down, but couldn't focus long enough to stay put. Rey's emotions were surging through him. What he wouldn't do to be able to go to the training room and work off some of her anxious energy. So he started doing push-ups.

And hand stands.

And sit-ups.

Then Ben sat on the floor for a bit recovering before starting over again.

By the time Rey returned Ben had completed 150 push-ups, 211 sit-ups, and 50 one minute hand stands.

"I hope you know that you doing all of that is going to make me sore tomorrow too." They met eyes as Ben finished his 211th sit up.

"Well, you can blame yourself. Your anxious energy made it hard to do anything but try to work it out of my system." That earned him a blushing Rey. Which was cute in it's own way. "Anyways, how did the meeting, more like summoning really, go?"

"Um right yes. Honestly, you should have been there but Leia said it would be better if I told you. She seemed to know something that I didn't…she had this weird glint in her eye-"

"Rey you're chattering again." Another shade of pink crept onto her cheeks, deeper in color than what Ben has previously seen. It was all the more adorable.

"Leia thinks…and I agree! Don't think I don't want to go or that I'm being forced to do this or whatever else your mind is going to instantly jump to. But um Leia SUGGESTED that you and I go to Naboo. Privacy for us both to actually train and for you to maybe show me some better technique. She thinks it would be nice." Ben sat there, unsure of how to respond because Rey said it all so fast. He honestly was still processing her words. Leia was going to let him out of her sight…away from the base. To Naboo of all places, the place of his grandmother's people.

"Naboo…my grandmother is from there. She used to be their Queen then later the planet's Senator for the Galactic Republic." Rey didn't respond to him, which was fine since Ben's mind was reeling. Why would his mother wish to send him there? Naboo while beautiful was relatively left alone because any attempt to push the First Order was met with high retaliation. It seemed odd to send them there, regardless of its hidden support of the Resistance. Naboo doesn't do anything quietly, and the appearance of the last two known Force users would cause quite the stir. "Why Naboo? They will…with you there…it will cause them to celebrate."

"Leia said her cousins promised to keep us quiet. Just the palace would be aware." Ben sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"How long has mother dearest been planning to ship me away again?" The snide remark just slipped out of his mouth before he really thought about it.

"You're insufferable sometimes. Not everything is a slight against you." She huffed and headed for her room. Today was definitely not going how he planned.

"You want to go to Naboo? How will your bodyguards feel about you going somewhere with just me?" He sensed the book flying through the air in enough time to dunk. It banged against the wall then dramatically echoed it landed on the floor through the room.

"Don't call them that. You're right, if I'm stuck with only you I might end up killing you." Her cold words rushed over him, and Ben knew he went too far. The previous comment she made should've been his first hint.

"Rey…"

"No. You have got to keep that mouth in check."

"Isn't that why I have you? To make sure I keep it in check?" Her gaze snapped up to his eyes. Deep amber clashing with bright hazel. She studied him for a moment before sighing, he knew she had already forgiven him.

"I shouldn't need to Ben."

"Ah, but isn't it more fun to throw something at me every so often?" She chuckled and folded her arms across her chest.

"Be more fun if you'd let me hit you actually." He already made it to where she was standing. Her hair was all the way down today, no buns. He reached and touched a few tendrils before tucking them behind her ear.

"I think my face was once too many." He whispered into her ear before kissing the spot right below on her neck. Her gasp was the most wonderful noise to him in that moment.

"So you'll come to Naboo?" She tried to keep her voice level, but his little Jedi didn't manage that.

"I'll go wherever you wish." He leaned back up to look into her eyes. Her heartbeat was almost deafening to him. Before he even knew what was going on, Rey's lips were on his. Her small hands tangling themselves into his hair. His hands grabbed her small hips. Right when Ben thought they would never untangle themselves, she broke off the kiss.

"I'll tell Leia, better start packing." Then she skipped out of the room again, leaving Ben in a post-kiss haze and feeling another ten times lighter. It already felt like an eternity since they were enraptured with each other. At this rate, they may never return from Naboo, electing to stay in the throws of passion…forgetting galactic duties. But he knew Rey, she would never let that happen. So while packing his clothes that Leia found him, Ben resolved to take down the First Order as soon as possible so he could spend many more seasons in the hold of that sun kissed, brown haired, hazel eyed goddess that once roamed around as a scavenger. Naboo would be a good place to plot the downfall of the First Order. Though he would still have to answer for his actions to whatever new galactic leadership emerged, but if it meant Rey would be safe and he could have a few brief moments of his life blissfully happy with her…he'd take that now over any promise of redemption that Snoke used to whisper to him.


	12. Single

**Hello, my lovelies! It has been a ~minute~ since I've updated but I've been diligently writing away hoping to get this story finished so I can keep on updating on schedule! Enjoy**

* * *

 _In my head, you're a constant heartbeat_

 _I feel you rushing through my veins_

 _You're all I need, you always comfort me_

 _All I Need by Foxes_

* * *

They had been in Naboo for a week. Rey was progressing nicely in her training. Rey was starting to get antsy, there was always other plans that would emerge once they got to Naboo. The time here was revealing, Ben spent many days finding ways to steal kisses from her during training. She found any excuse she could to be curled up next to his side. Naboo was a beautiful planet, her visions didn't do it justice. Life emitted from this planet, the force swirled around it in a dance almost. However, these happy carefree days of being curled up to Ben's side would soon end. She'd be forced to once again, hold the Resistance's fate in her hands.

"You're antsy again…relax Rey…is our time here almost up is that you are nervous?"

"Yeah…time is almost up." Ben moved closer to her, they had grown a lot closer over this week. His fingers traced shapes onto her arms.

"You have no reason to worry…people will see I've changed…somewhat." Rey snorted at that. While Rey honed her force abilities, which her power still surprised Ben, Ben worked on finding his balance like she has. Light and Dark moving together. A seamless blend of the two.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Ben didn't know what to say to her, then they both locked eyes and felt a tremendous shift in the force. One of the servants at the palace comes running in.

"Rey…the First Order are here…they want you both…" Ben stood up and Rey took some breaths. She knew this was coming, yet still, she couldn't calm her nerves. How would she be able to get Ben to not act like himself so she can do the mission?

"Where is Hux?" Ben growled and the servant looked at Rey for an answer.

"Where is the communication point?" Rey stood to follow the servant, Ben's anger threatened to spill over.

"You can't REASON with Hux."

"Who said I will reason with him?" Ben studied her for a moment then let out a sigh.

"You have a plan…there was a bigger reason for sending us to here wasn't there?" Rey didn't answer because she didn't want to, because she didn't know how. Leia and the other generals saw an opening with sending them to Naboo. A known Resistance sympathizer, they knew the First Order had this place monitored. It wouldn't be long until words trickled to the fleet monitoring the planet.

"Ben please…"

"Was any of it real?" He snapped back, the Dark side rearing its ugly head. Rey flinched back at his words. Every tender kiss and touch floating back through her mind, and how she wished that all they could do was spend eternity in those moments.

"Of course it is real. I meant every touch and every kiss. Don't ever doubt that, Ben." She spoke calmly as the door opened to reveal the Queen and Hux.

"Ah…the scavenger and traitor. Such a lovely pair." Rey vaguely remembered Hux, however, she was certain he was never this thin and ghastly looking. Ben's anger was piping hot and took over the room to Rey. "Take them aboard our ship. As promised, Queen, Naboo is safe and we will stop monitoring it. It is safe to say the Resistance will never trust you again."

Aboard Hux's ship, Rey looked at Ben and felt sick for what was about to occur. _Save the Galaxy then mend what I break with Ben_. She chanted that over and over in her head. They walked through the sterile halls. All the First Order ships looked the same: devoid of any personality and life. They were almost paraded throughout the halls. The famed Jedi and the Fallen Supreme Leader. It made her sick. Her own anger was close to spilling over, she could easily take out the troops leading them with her newfound force powers. Ben's hands brushed hers, causing her to look at him. He shook his head. She knew he was right, she had to save her energy for the show that was about to happen. They were lead to the prison cells but weren't put in any just yet. Rey could hear her heartbeat hammering away, she needed to calm her nerves fast.

"So tell me, Kylo, you thought you'd be able to just hide from me?" Ben glared at Hux and Rey looked at both men.

"I think I would have been quite successful if you weren't focused on just finding me and actually ruling the First Order." Rey could tell Ben was annoyed with the redheaded man, she also knew that Ben was quite skilled at handling him.

"Well, I think I'll just make you watch as I kill off your precious scavenger."

"I wouldn't suggest that," Rey spoke up this time, walking close to the former general. "You think he'd let you just cancel out my life? I think you are far smarter than that General, oh sorry Supreme Leader." The confusion that she felt from Ben almost stopped her, but she had to keep her conviction up. "Kylo was weak…you were right to doubt him. I'm not so weak…I could be very handy in your arsenal. I've grown tired of picking up Kylo's pieces. I need a person who will show me real power. Can you do that?" She wove her force tendrils into his mind, letting it mold his brain. She needed Hux to believe she desired him, more importantly, the power he held. Hux was almost frozen as she wove her hold on the man.

"Prove it…kill Kylo." Rey smiled at the man then turned to Ben. She needed only a few moments to let her intricate brain scrambling to really sink in.

"I think he'd be a good bargaining chip…Leia still holds love for him."

"Yes, my dear you are right…I'll leave you to handle him. Guards unchain my new second in command." Rey's cuffs came off and once Hux was gone, taking the guards with him, she looked at Ben.

"Ben…remember everything I said? All those moments…I meant them. And don't doubt me. I love you. I'll see you again soon. And when I do, I need you ready to fight beside me." Before he could respond with what would've been malice, she knocked him out easily with the force.

"Guards…pick him up and take him to my personal chambers." They did her bidding and left her. It took Rey a while to collect her bearings after knocking out Ben…and for telling him that she loved him. Soon she was making her way around the ship. She didn't have much luck in finding where the motherboards could be but that's mostly because she spent a lot of time avoiding Hux and his beady little eyes. The man was truly repulsive to her. The idea that she would want to…made her want to puke, but she placed those thoughts in his mind…all in the name of winning the war.

Rey hardly slept. She cried mostly, horrible nightmares of Ben killing her because of her betrayal plagued here and he wasn't awake to tell her that they were just nightmares, whispering softly how he'd never hurt her. His tender touches soothing her to sleep, she ached to feel his lips kiss her temple again. But today was a new day, and she had to find the motherboards today. Leia gave her two days tops, otherwise, there would be no extraction plan and they were on their own. She moved Ben onto the bed that was close to him, chains still on. It pained her to see him in this state again. She once freed him of chains and now she's the reason he's back in them. Someday he'll understand, hopefully. Hux had been busy and already had her a new set of clothes. She begrudgingly put them on. Tight, padded, all black armor clung to her like a wet paper towel. She just stared into the mirror. She wanted to laugh so badly at the image staring back at her. Ben's lumped over form stopped her from laughing though. She crouched down next to him and stroked his face with her thumb.

"I'm sorry…soon this will all be over and then I promise to never give you a reason to doubt me." A quick kiss on his head and she was off. Since she controlled Hux now with her little intricate mind web, she was able to get back both her saber and Ben's. Both were on her new belt. She needed to find the motherboard system. The microchip housed a virus, that would systematically spread via communication waves, holograms, anything electronic basically. Rey didn't want to know what it took to acquire this or have someone create such a thing. She was getting agitated and suddenly Ben was blinking right in front of her. Rey blinked and he disappeared from view. This was not the time for their bond to resurface. She rounded the corner and smacked right into Hux.

"Ah, just the girl I was looking for." Rey gulped and just stared at him. "I heard that you have Kylo in your chambers? I thought you had no use for him…that you wanted something else." Hux was hovering dangerously close to her face now. He was repulsive. Rey was hot with anger, he was not going to touch her. If he did…he'd be dead before he could even comprehend it all.

"I will be the one who decides what I do and do not need. Right now, I need you to back up from my face or I will not be so keen to obey the Supreme Leader." Hux backed up and smirked.

"You are deliciously feisty…the clothes fit?"

"They'll do." One of his troopers whispered something and Hux frowned.

"Seems some Resistance ships are approaching Naboo. Excuse me." He left and standing where he stood was Ben.

"How could YOU!" Ben lurched but the chains forced him back. He was seething mad. Now was not the time though, Rey needed to find those motherboards.

"Ben…calm down. Do you know where the motherboards are?"

"Why should I help you? Traitorous scamp!"

"BEN. My gosh did you not hear a SINGLE word I SAID?" He glared at her but didn't speak. Rey felt a bit of her heartbreak off. "Fine, don't help." She shut the connection with ease. Her anger was deafening now. She stomped around the ship for what seemed for hours. The troops she passed scuttled out of her way. She must look like she'll kill anyone who dares get in her way. Rey smirked at that thought because at this point it would just be easier to stab someone who blocked her…she quickly silenced that thought, knowing its origin was from her darker side. Soon she was in a part of the ship that she didn't know, red blinking lights were all around her and she realized this was it. The motherboards of the whole First Order, every transmission, message, communication, record, etc. were housed in these boxes. She squealed in delight, smiling at herself. She fished out the small microchip from her belt. Rey set out to find a place to plug it in when she heard clapping.

"Well done Rey." Ben sarcasm was not appreciated. Rey ignored him and continued to look, every second was valuable time being wasted. "Oh so you knock me out and now you ignore me. Yes, clearly you love me SO much." Rey took a deep breath and tried not to react to his words, that's what he wanted. After pacing down a few halls and scanning box after box, she found a port and slid the chip in. Nothing happened. It was supposed to work.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Rey kicked the stack of relays with anger. All of that, she risked everything for this mission. Ben was beyond pissed at her, he didn't even acknowledge that she said she loved him over a bloody chip that didn't even work! "Stupid!" One more sound kick was delivered. Rey was about to give it a few more when suddenly lights were shutting off, alarms were sounding and she smelled smoke.

"Rey…get out of there now. NOW." She listened and ran, explosions sounding in the distance. She ran and ran, troops were running the other way but Rey knew that there would be saving the motherboards. By some miracle, she made it to her rooms and ran over to Ben. She scrambled undoing his chains while kissing his face and murmuring apologies. Without thinking, she handed him his saber once the chains were off. She hoped he wouldn't turn on her. Rey was about to ask him if they were okay if he could get them out of here when the door opened to reveal a very angry Supreme Leader Hux.

"YOU." He snarled, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SHIPS."

"Now Hux…you didn't honestly think she would pick you over me?" Ben smirked while twirling his saber. Rey looked at Ben, curious about what he will do.

"YOU TWISTED MY MIND!"

"Wasn't that hard…" Rey mumbled back nonchalantly. Ben looked surprised in his own way at her admittance that it was quite simple to warp certain desires that Hux had to suit her. A louder explosion sounded catching them all off guard. Unfortunately for Rey and Ben, Hux recovered faster and fired his blaster. All Rey saw a red light speeding towards her, Ben slicing off Hux's head in a swipe, and then the world went black.


	13. Glory

**It is that time again! Here is the next chapter! I have been working (typing) diligently to get this story wrapped up so all I have to do is post chapters come the time to post them. I have some other stories I desire to post (feel free to send a review if you'd like to see more stories from me!) Anyways enough from me. Again, feel free to leave a review on what you thought of this chapter! We got a lot of new followers since the last chapter so thanks to all you guys for reading and enjoying the story!**

* * *

 _A set of eyes had pinned him_

 _Became his version of a kingdom_

 _She's everything the devil can't be_

 _When she's singing to me "Glory"_

 _Glory by Dermot Kennedy_

* * *

Time seemed to slow down all at once. Hux burst in screaming then suddenly, the whole ship shook. None of them expected the motherboards to become a bomb. Ben looked back to make sure Rey didn't topple over when he heard the blaster sound off. Then time seemed to speed forward, in a split second Ben ignited his saber and sliced of Hux's head. He turned to see Rey on the floor, a hole right through her shoulder. She wasn't moving, Ben felt sick. He held his breath as he ran over to her body. He felt for a pulse, something that indicated she was still holding on. Rey had hit the ground hard, he faintly recalls hearing her scream and then a thud hitting the floor during the moments when he was slicing off Hux's head. He couldn't have lost her, not when their last moments were her apologizing for finally beating the First Order…for deceiving him to complete the mission. He never got to say 'I love you' back to her. Ben found a faint pulse and it was faint. He quickly tried to think about what to do, moving her and jostling her around didn't seem like the best plan at the moment. He needed to get her stabilized.

It was like someone smacked him over the head with a stick, "Force healing!" Ben recalled from one of Rey's old books. However, it was more of a light side move. Ben looked at the color of Rey's face slowly draining. What if he couldn't heal her? Tears were starting to fall, he had to try to heal the wound enough to be able to move her. Another large explosion sounded, shaking the room. Ben instinctively placed his body over Rey's bracing for any ceiling debris that could fall. Ben took another deep breath before putting his hands over her wound, which was large and concerning. He tried not to look at it. Instead, he focused all of his energy and life force into Rey's wound, imagining the body stitching itself together. Ben suddenly felt really tired and drained. He plopped down on the ground next to her and looked down at her. The color was slowly returning to her, the wound seemed smaller, and so Ben felt her pulse again. This time it was strong and solid, it worked.

"Rey stay with me okay? I'm going to carry you to a ship…" Speaking like she could hear him calmed his nerves. He scooped her up with ease and started the dangerous journey to the ship hanger. He didn't even look back at the beheaded body of Hux. Ben felt solidified in his stance in all of this. Then it all clicked, why he was on this mission with Rey…so he'd be instrumental in the downfall of the First Order, helping purge some of his earlier transgressions. Clever girl. Ben glanced down, she looked like she was asleep. That meant she was no longer rapidly dying. He didn't know how bad her head wound could be though, so he walked a bit faster.

Ducking into another alcove, Ben poked his head out and could see the hanger. With no Hux to be found, the ship was in full panic mode. Ships were being sent out and not coming back, the Resistance was gunning down any attackers with their brand new fleet courtesy of the Queen of Naboo. He decided to make a run for one of the charter ships. Another explosion occurred, this time right under the hanger. Ships started to fall into a hole, the ship Ben was currently running towards was on edge. He boarded and carefully laid down Rey.

"Please work…please don't fall…come on baby…" He got the ship started up and it creaked in defiance as a loud scrape sounded. It was slipping into the crater and fast. Ben was getting the engines booted up and was just trying not to panic as well. Another bang and crash, the ship skidded closer to the being pulled in.

"YES!" The engines came online just in time, Ben screamed as he lurched up and out of the hanger. He now needed to navigate the battlefield and try to get a message to his mother. Surely they were hoping, waiting, for a message from Rey. He started doing a signal scan then put the plane on autopilot. He had to make sure Rey was secure so any abrupt turns wouldn't send her sliding across the floor. He found a stretcher and fastened her to that. He stroked her face, he had to get her safe. Taking a seat again at the controls he started his way back towards Naboo. A signal was found but it wasn't Naboo. Growing increasingly impatient, Ben hit the scanner again. A few twists and turns dodging stray blasts inched them closer to just landing on Naboo. Finally, he seemed to have picked up on the right wave since Poe's annoying voice rang out.

"Turn that charter around or I'll blast you out of the sky First Order SCUM!" Ben rolled his eyes at the pilot's dramatic greeting.

"Blast me and Rey goes down too. Honestly, that's how you negotiate?" Ben drolled through the communication receptor.

"What's wrong with Rey? Leia has been waiting on the private frequency for the message." Poe's voice changed immediately to that of worry but not filled with urgency.

"Rey is…she's been injured…badly this time…she's stable but…she needs help. Now. Get me through to Leia or tell me where the hell to put this metal down!" Ben was impatient now and didn't want to waste time talking with the blasted pilot.

"Shit. Okay, I'll get a hold of Leia and it's the palace's landing pad. Do you-"

"Yes! Tell my mother to bring a crap ton of med droids, I tried to heal as much as I could but it's her head I'm worried about." He ended the conversation and typed in the coordinates for the Palace's landing pad. He hit the hyper-speed button and thought, _I'm as crazy as my father, Gods I hope this works_. The ship blasted off and Ben hoped they wouldn't get hit by any blasts. He closed his eyes and just let the force flow through him, hoping to clear his nerves and maybe protect the ship.

Suddenly he felt the ship pull out of hyper-speed, they were surrounded by the Naboo scenery. They also were rapidly speeding towards the pad. Ben lurched for the controls and started initiating landing protocol. The beeping was sounding left and right.

"YES I KNOW WE ARE MOVING TO FAST I JUST NEED YOU TO START THE LANDING GEARS YOU DUMB SHIP!" He growled as if it could hear him. He started making a series of sharp turns hoping to decelerate the ship so those warnings would shut off. It half worked, they started getting too close to Ben just decided they were going to do a rapid fast landing. The landing gears were all down and they were coming in hot. Ben pulled up on the control with all his might, willing the ship to land instead of bulldozing right through the landing pad. With a loud thud and the noise of metal crunching into itself, they landed. Ben didn't waste any time getting Rey off the ship and into the hands of the droids.

"They will take good care of her, thank you for all you've done for the Galaxy these past few days." The Queen bowed then followed the droids, no doubt also worrying over Rey. That left him alone with his mother. They hadn't spoken since he and Rey left for Naboo. Ben didn't know what to say to her, other than she didn't look well and she behaved exactly as he always thought she did: politician first then mother second.

"I'm happy you both are-"

"I should've been clued into the plan since I WAS A PART OF IT." Ben sharply cut her off. His anger fuming now.

"It had to be genuine…Rey protested but-"

"You insisted it be this way. Well, I hope you're happy because Rey is hanging onto life for YOUR cause." He stormed off the platform. He knew that he lashed out, but he couldn't help it. His darkness had a funny way of sneaking up on him without her easy demeanor beside him. Ben found the med bay easily but he was barred from seeing her. They were still assessing the damages. Ben started replaying the scene, if he had stayed by her then he could've blocked the shot…or instead of instinctively slicing off Hux's head, he should've frozen the shot. He just stared into the room through the glass watching the droids scan her body from head to toe. They had already changed her from those black robes, into a simple bandeau and shorts so they had easy access. Seeing her so exposed would have probably made him fumble over his feet but all he could see was that hole left from the blaster shot. One droid was already lacing the hole closed using the same technique that was used on the scar she gave Ben. Leia soon appeared beside him. He didn't acknowledge her, his eyes stayed on Rey. The only person who deemed him worth risking themselves for. She pushed and pulled him until all those knots in him until he was unwound and raw…exposed like a wire before her. In one touch, she breathed a new life into him…then when she left it was cold and dark. He felt lost again, but she came back. Now here they were, so close to being able to just bask in the glow of each other…only a wall of glass and time stood between that dream.

"I am sorry, Ben…for how this ended…" His mother's voice snapped him from his thoughts.

"You should be…I could lose her before I even get to love her." He felt severed and raw, probably because his bond with Rey was cut off at the moment. He felt very alone.

"I hope you cherish her…don't let the fear of life wear you down like it did to me. Fear is a powerful weapon…" He knew that was his mother's way of apologizing for always letting fear get in the way of her coming to his rescue.

"Mother…you shouldn't be in charge anymore…all this rebelling has nearly killed you. Perhaps you take a secondary role in this new world…" Ben glanced at her before turning back to the glass. She just squeezed his hand before taking her leave from him.

"WHERE IS SHE?" Ben sighed as he looked to see Finn, Rose, and Poe charging their way through the halls. He didn't have the patience for this. They still haven't told him a single thing about Rey's condition. So he stood there watching the hole in her shoulder get ever smaller. The band stopped beside Ben. No one spoke so Ben decided he would.

"They haven't given me anything, and no one is allowed in. She hit the ground hard…I don't know the extent of her head injuries…"

"You said you'd been able to heal her shoulder wound…"

"Yes, it is a Jedi, Light side, technique…giving some of your life to the one in need…healing them. Though it is draining and I'm not the most rooted in the Light so I could only do so much for her." Poe nodded at that but he knew that none of them understood. So there they stood, all watching with baited breath for some droid to tell them something.

* * *

Slowly, one by one, the rest of them left until it was just Ben. They were resigned to the fact that they wouldn't get information until the morning. Ben made himself comfortable on the floor right outside the door. He wasn't just going to leave her. He couldn't, something kept him rooted right next to the door.

At some point in the night, he must've just passed out from exhaustion because he was awoken by the scuttling of robots going in and out of the door. That snapped him awake. Ben stood up to see the door open, so he entered.

"Ah Young Master Solo!" The droid chirped at him and welcomed him in. It was still weird hearing his given last name. "Young Miss Rey is healing though she suffered a tremendous brain injury. The swelling has gone down…but we are unsure how it will impact her memories."

"What? Like impact how?" Ben was startled. Could she lose memories?

"Either short-term memories will be lost or long-term ones…or no memories but she will struggle to form new long term or short term ones. The brain is unpredictable. Time will tell." The droid left and Ben felt sick. He didn't know how long she would be asleep like this. He glanced down and quickly pulled a chair beside her. He picked up her hand and held it in his. It was so small and delicate. Ben sighed and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry Rey…I should've been able to stop this…just stay here with me. I love you…"

* * *

Days blurred into weeks, everyone was going on about their tasks. Finn, Poe, and Rose all were gone now. Ben was put on lockdown but they didn't tear him away from Rey. So he was on Naboo still. His mother was there as well, she has become an advisor to the current Queen of Naboo. There was a Council of planets to work together but separate at the same time. They all answered to a set number of Council Leaders. It seemed to be working well for now. Ben was sitting next to Rey like he always was. The only time he was away from her side was for meals and sleep. Chewbacca would be in there frequently as well. The first few visits were uneasy. Ben was unsure how the Wookie would respond now that the dust of the war had settled. But instead, Chewbacca came with his father's old jacket, claiming he'd want Ben to have it. So Ben almost always wore it, it helped heal that remaining wound in his soul. He chuckled thinking how stunned Rey will be when she wakes up to see him in this jacket and a black tunic shirt, dressed eerily like Han. Ben was currently reading one of the Jedi texts, he'd fully read her two of the eight books. This was the third and was rather hard to decipher. He was balancing the book on his knee while trying to look at a translator tablet.

"No that does not seem right…" He mumbled then rescanned the page. Some of the writing was smudged a bit either from age or the writer themselves.

"Maybe you're reading it wrong…" A weak voice chirped in. Ben stood up causing both the tablet and the book to fall to the floor.

"You're awake…Rey…hold on I'll get the med droid." She watched him as he scrambled about. He felt her gaze on him, and for the first time in months, the tension and hole he'd been feeling went away. "I got to tell Finn…and Leia…" The droid whirred into action, scanning her brain for any lingering damage, though the swelling completely subsided weeks ago.

"Ben…just you…for now please." Her whimper halted his actions and he quickly was at her side.

"Alright…anything you need." The droid gave her a clean bill of health, no abnormalities but she needs to take it slow and do not be alarmed if some memories were hard to recall. Ben was elated at that news, she was going to be alright.

"How long…" She stopped talking and blinked back some tears.

"Shh…Rey, really it'll be alright…you were out two months…no please stop crying." The tears flooded out at his words and Ben felt horrible. He wiped them away and kissed the top of her head. "Rey everyone was so worried if they didn't have assignments they would all be here…Rey, stop crying." She looked at him and he felt her sorrow like a knife.

"You stayed…"

"I was somewhat forced to stay in one spot. But my spot is beside you so I wouldn't let them tear me away."

"Forced? Ben you tell me what in the hell is going on right now." Ben gulped at her tone and sighed.

"I'm on forced palace arrest for the foreseeable future. The rest of your friends are off on assignment. My mother has taken a consort position here with the Queen…" He stopped talking and looked at Rey. She sat there soaking everything in.

"The Galaxy?"

"Safe…for now, I suppose. We will see how far this new attempt at peace will last until corruptness seeps back into galactic leaders."

"Glad to know your optimism in people hasn't changed." He smiled and reached for her hand. Placing a kiss on her hand, Ben looked at her and sighed.

"You should get some sleep…the world will be here when you wake. I promise."

"But I have so many questions!"

"I'll answer them…tomorrow get some actual sleep. Please."

"Fine…keep reading to me then," Ben smirked at her casual tone and picked up the book from the floor and went back to translating. Slowly reading each page to her.


	14. Wicked

**Another update for you guys! All the lovely reviews were greatly appreciated! I'm just glad you guys are continuing to enjoy the story!**

* * *

 _Lost in your heartbeat, body moving on mine_

 _Caught in the madness, doubt the feelings inside_

 _'Cause I know that you're trouble and I know that it ain't right_

 _But I want you and I can't get enough_

 _Of your wicked love_

 _Wicked Love by Foxes_

* * *

Rey was showing slow progress, which was infuriating to her. She hasn't been able to move around on her own. She still remembered when Ben wheeled in the monstrosity of a chair that was currently beside her. He smiled when he brought it in but she was grateful because that meant freedom from her medical room. Now though it was a source of her anger. She could roll around if she wanted too but it was tiring. She was down on training so her endurance wasn't high. Right on cue Ben strolled in and smiled.

"Breakfast time! I have a surprise for you afterward."

"New legs?" Rey wobbled her way into the wheelchair.

"You're getting stronger…"

"Don't lie to me just to make me feel better. Let's just go to breakfast." Rey glared and she felt the dark pool growing in her. She didn't care anymore if her emotions impacted Ben. She wanted him to feel her anger. The medical droids said this could happen but rarely this slow. Her only light has been how happy it makes Ben doting on her. It gave him a sense of purpose but at the cost of Rey's ability to freely move. They arrived at breakfast, usually, Leia joined them but today she was so happy to see an old friend.

"Rey!" Finn smiled and ran over. Rey gingerly stood, giving him a big hug. She ignored the sharp pang of worry that rippled through her thanks to Ben. "I would've come sooner but…trying to find ex-stormtroopers willing to speak out against some of the higher leaders was-"

"There are more like you? Ben, stop worrying I can stand up perfectly fine."

"I heard that you're…um, let's talk over food." Finn fumbled over his words, Rey felt angry again as she flopped back into her stupid wheelchair. It was nice to see Finn though. He never mentioned her inability to walk on her own again. Breakfast soon was coming to an end, Leia left first. She looked to be in much better spirits with her new position. With her gone, it was just Ben, Rey, and Finn around the table.

"How long are you here staying this time Finn?" Finn gulped and looked at Ben then to her. Rey bristled at that as if he was asking Ben's permission to ask her. He wasn't her handler. She wasn't a delicate flower.

"Until tomorrow. I caught wind of some chatter about a few pawned trooper gear…meaning the owners must be around somewhere."

"Oh…where's Poe? Rose?"

"Rose…she is my pilot. Things have been crazy after the whole thing and then you know you…anyways. She has her set of missions when we travel. We will figure it out. She gets jealous. POE! Poe is off battling with the council and planet rulers…he got himself made Captain-General! Kaydel is his second in command…they are attached at the hip! Good job with that. Poe is much more tolerable."

"Well, that's good…how come they haven't stopped by? I could go down to the hanger to say hi to Rose!" Rey looked at Ben with pleading eyes.

"Rose would like to see you guys…" Finn forced a smile and Rey sensed some argument happened between Finn and Rose to cause such a rift. Ben huffed but agreed to go down, convince if he let her out of his sight something would fall on Rey.

* * *

"Rose! Oh, my gosh…this ship IS GORGEOUS!" Rey wanted to look at every nook. She spied Rose's head peek out then walked out and glared at Finn. Then they locked eyes and Rose seemed to almost laugh at Rey's condition.

"You're in a wheelchair?" Double fold anger ripped through her and she took a deep breath before answering her friend.

"Seems being knocked out for two months has left my legs…rather weak. I'm getting better. I can walk around my room and stand up for extended periods." Rey retorted back to her. She didn't understand why Rose was being so hostile towards her. She's been in a coma for two months and hasn't been able to walk solidly for 2 weeks now. Rose sent another glare at Finn. Rey had had quite enough of this behavior. "Why don't you show Ben the inside of the ship Finn? I need to talk to Rose privately." Finn and Ben gulped but listened to Rey.

"That was unnecessary." Rose scoffed and leaned against the side of the ship.

"Why are you behaving like a little brat? Shooting glares at Finn and me. You better spill what is bothering you or I dare you to try to prevent me from stealing it from your mind." Rey shot back, she was angry. Angry at Rose for treating Finn horribly since the start of peace, at Ben for hovering over her, and at the divine gods for confining her to this wheelchair.

"You wouldn't. You're not Ben."

"Do you really want to try me right now? I'm just as horrible as Ben. I just can keep the beast locked up." Rose glared and Rey didn't try to be gentle when she showed Rose what she could do.

"OW! Okay fine! Finn drops everything for you. You know what we do after we are done finding the troopers? We ask about people who could wake YOU or people who could help you regain YOUR strength. Suddenly it was all about you again. I'm sitting there one day and I just couldn't take it anymore…the rest of my life I'll be second to YOU AND YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE FINN LIKE I LOVE HIM." Rose bellowed at her and frankly Rey was shocked. Finn and her were family but I guess she never thought about how his worrying would impact Rose.

"Well, I'm fine now so you can stop holding a grudge against him for being worried. Besides when you were all unconscious he barely left your side. He's a worrier. That's what he does. If you can't handle that he wears his bleeding heart on his sleeve then…I don't know what to tell you."

"Talking to you was useless. I think I'm going to take a break from being around him. We have one more mission then I'm cutting myself loose. I can't handle it anymore."

"You mean that?" Finn and Ben were standing there and Rose whirled around shocked and Rey glanced at Ben.

"Finn…I uh…just…um…need some space."

"From me. Because I was worried about Rey and not focusing all of my undivided attention to you?" Ben somehow found his way back over by her because she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, so it's my fault for not caring about precious Jedi Rey! Did you not see what she can do on that ship. PLANT THOUGHTS AND IDEAS IN PEOPLE. Maybe you're just her crony!"

"Leave. I'll tell the Council that we can no longer work together. Maybe Poe can get you a spot on his ship. I'll do this op myself. Since you seem to think Rey's mind controlling me…I can't keep dancing in circles with you Rose. Either you accept that Rey is the closest thing to a sister I have and that we are a package deal or I'll see you when there is a call for all hands on deck." Finn hurried out and Rose just stood there.

"I think we should go…Rey has uh…leg therapy…right Rey?" Ben whispered into her ear, his breath tickled her ears.

"Yeah leg stuff…Ben helps me with it….um…if you need uh…Chewie can help!" Ben and she were quiet the whole time back to her room. Rey didn't know what to say because the emotions were still clinging to her. The jealousy rolled off of Rose and Finn's sorrow rose to match it. Rey felt guilty that she was somehow responsible. She was so in her own head, that Rey didn't even notice they made it back to her room.

"It isn't your fault. Rose was always jealous of your relationship with Finn. How easy it was. She was a ticking time bomb about to explode from jealousy. Now up and walk to me from there." Ben's voice snapped her from the dangerous thoughts swirling in her mind. Rey looked at him and felt sick.

"That's farther than…"

"You want to be stronger so I don't hover anymore. So you can go about your life as you see fit."

"I never said-"

"Just. Walk." Rey huffed and gingerly stood up. Ben was sulking and she took her steps. Her legs did feel better and stronger. It felt like an eternity. She made it to Ben right before collapsing. His arms instinctively caught her. Rey couldn't control the sobs coming out of her at this point. She sunk down to the floor crying into Ben. It was all too much: her being the cause for her best friend's sorrow, Ben feeling like she didn't want him around, and her own body was refusing to work like before.

"I want to try again…" Rey whispered after she calmed down.

"Rey…I…"

"Go across the room again. I have to do this…I can't handle feeling useless. Useless meant death on Jakku."

"We aren't-"

"I know Ben but I can't spend another damn week in that blasted chair!" Ben got up and went across the room, his careful gaze never diverted from her. She rose and walked over to him. This is how they spent many hours. Soon Rey was walking fairly well without any help from the wall.

"One more pass!"

"Rey you're going to be sore tomorrow…enough for today. Lay down please." Rey flopped down on her bed. Finally, her legs were cooperating with her. She'd be able to explore Naboo now. Go flying again with Chewie.

"Good night then." Ben was tucking the chair away before heading towards the door.

"Ben…" He barely turned to look back at her, just the side of his face was turned to her. Showing that scar on his face, it was barely there but noticeable all the same. "I…never said that I would leave if I got stronger again. I wouldn't leave you."

"If you are better how will you tell the new leaders that you wish to stay here with me? A traitor to the First Order but still not trusted enough to be let loose. They will take you away and soon I'll be a chore to come and take care of."

"No. Why do you always think I'm going to leave you?"

"You've done it before," Rey growled at him then. How dare he fling that moment back in her face. The moment her heart felt like it got ripped up when he asked her to just abandon her whole new wonderful life. For what? Him. Though isn't that ultimately what they both have done? Rey no longer felt like she wholly fit in the Resistance and Ben had too much light to really belong in the First Order. So they molded together into a wonderful conundrum of dark and light.

"That was different! This is my choice and will I have to leave sometimes? Yes, probably I chose to be the Jedi. But I'll always come back to you." He was fully looking at her, she could feel his heartbeat from across the room. He just keeps staring at her.

"And I will always be here to greet you." Then he left and Rey sat there blinking at the door. She furrowed her brow then got up. Gingerly she crept to his room and poked her head in.

"Rey. I can sense you so sneaking about won't work."

"I just-you never-do you…" She was spluttering out her words, not graceful at all. How can she ask him if he loves her? But Rey can't just resolve herself to believe he does.

"You need sleep."

"Do you love me?" It came spewing out of her mouth so fast, Rey immediately regretted it. Now wasn't the time to ask such things. He'll say it when he's ready. Frankly, she only said it when she did because she believed they were going to die on that ship. "Never mind. Stupid question to ask-you'll say it when you're ready-I mean if you feel it but if you don't that's fine I suppose…there's nice Naboo women that could-" His lips cut off her rambling. Ben's arms wound around her waist and she felt herself get lifted up off the floor. Rey's fingers were already tangled in his raven black hair. He broke off the kiss, they both were breathing heavily. Rey desired to just drown herself in his touch and kisses for eternity.

"Don't ever doubt my love for you. It is the only good, right, and pure thing I have ever done. I am hopelessly yours." Rey stopped breathing and just kissed him again. He was a wicked man, he's done wicked things…maybe his love will be just as wicked somedays. She's seen it but oh gods, did she choose a man whose tender soul would only show itself to her.


	15. Love Lines

**Oh MY GOSH. It has been more than a HOT minute since I've posted. I am so so sorry! My life has gotten super crazy: I just got engaged last month so I've been juggling wedding planning and classes have started back up ON TOP of my graduate thesis work *deep breath* shit is getting crazy, to say the least. But anyways I do apologize so here is a long overdue chapter. Enjoy! (Please leave a review if you enjoyed it).**

* * *

 _There's a line that pulls me back to you_

 _There's only so much I can do_

 _A bind that holds the spark_

 _Wrapped around my heart_

 _There's only so much I can do_

 _When you got me bound to you_

 _Cruel by Foxes_

* * *

It had been a few days since that night. Ben still replays it in his head, Rey coming to him scared that he didn't love her. She had since then almost fully regained her strength. He was pleased her spark returned but he did miss doting on her.

"Ben. You asked me here…" His mother's voice snapped him from daydreaming about Rey any further.

"Yes right…um…is there some family heirloom ring that I could have-"

"You're going to propose Rey." Ben sighed and nodded to Leia. Nothing gets past her. "Oh how lovely! Oh she's a sweetheart. Yes, I'm sure I can ask around here to see what I can scrounge up."

"Thank you, Mother."

"The Queen wanted to bestow me the summer palace next to the ocean here…it was my mother's favorite place. Seems right to give it to you. I'll let her know and ask if my mother left behind anything that could be used for an engagement ring."

"The house is-"

"You shut up and take the summer palace Ben or so help me."

"Yes, Mother." Ben quickly responded then Leia stood up and cupped his face.

"Oh, how proud I am of you." Then kissed the top of his head before heading off to a meeting. Ben wandered into the study to see Rey sitting there pouring over an old text. He just took a moment watching her. Her hair was up in a simple ponytail. Here on Naboo the women generally wear tunic dresses, so that's what Rey was wearing. It was a pale blue color, flowed with the wind. She didn't have her arm wraps so all of her sun-kissed skin was showing.

"I can feel you staring, Ben." Ben sulked over to her where she didn't look up from her book.

"I can't help it…you're dazzling." Rey looked up and made an amused face at him.

"Oh really? I dazzle you?" Ben smiled back, he liked when she would poke fun at him.

"Always even when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed."

"I don't ever!" She whined at him and slapped his arm with the book. But she was smiling so he knew it was all okay. "You're nervous about something…care to tell me what?"

"Nope. Shall we go train for a bit, my dear?"

"You know I don't like when you call me that!"

"But darling…"

"BEN!"

"My love, you wound me."

"I'm going to wound you…" She grumbled while he laughed at her. Yes, everything was going to be okay for a long time.

* * *

Hours have seemed to slipped past, Ben had beat her again. He was about to tell her that they should be done and wash up before dinner.

"Another round. I'll beat you this time."

"Rey…you're still not at full strength…and I'm simply better." She shoved him with the force and just looked at him. Ben twirled his mock saber and circled her like prey. He made a lunge and she simply moved out of the way. Then she spun around him, dragging her hand across his thigh. A jolt of heat ripped through him. He shook it to remained focused on Rey. They locked blades and she instead of pushing him away, she grabbed the hilt of his blade and drug him close. Their faces were so close and his body was now just responding, he leaned in and then in a flash her blade was at his throat.

"Cheat."

"Why because I dazzle you? Now we can go to dinner." She waltzed to put her blade away and Ben was now riled up decided they could be a little late to dinner. She turned and gasped as he pinned her to the wall. Her eyes snapped to his lips.

"I could dazzle you for a change." Rey let out a small sigh in reply, Ben kissed her neck slowly working his way up to her jawline. Her whimper all but sent him over the rushing waterfall. He trapped her lips in his. His whole body hummed when it was this close to Rey. Soon her legs were wrapped around his hips, and that contact was otherworldly to him.

"Ben…we should…oh, gods…" He had found that sweet spot on her neck that all but melted her like putty in his hands.

"I'll stop if you tell me." He mumbled into her neck while his other hand finally touched her bare skin underneath her shirt.

"People are…oh…kriff…" He smiled as she pulled him in closer, hands making tangles in his hair. But he didn't care, he was so close to pure bliss with her. Then like the Force refused to let him have this one moment, the door opened.

"Oh, WHOA…sorry didn't think this was one of _those_ training rooms…" Ben glared and didn't move as Poe waltzed into the room. Rey's legs were no longer tightly wrapped around his hips, her face buried into his chest out of embarrassment. It was intrusive how it overwhelmed him.

"Poe," Ben growled and the pilot didn't seem to notice or care.

"I'm to get you for dinner. Rey, nice to see you are fully recovered." Rey mumbled what seemed to be thanks while still not moving from her sanctuary that was Ben's arms. "See you two lovebirds at dinner." He winked then left. Once he left they both said nothing but created some distance between them.

"Rey…I apologize. I should've had more control. We were in-"

"Oh, Ben why in world are you apologizing for what happened? Don't you dare feel bad…because it felt great…amazing…let's go to dinner okay?" He nodded but still felt bad for being the reason that she felt that level of embarrassment. They arrived and Poe was hiding his smile at the two of them. Dinner went swimmingly, Poe was made to talk politics. Ben has since lost the taste for it though he chimed in every so often. Rey sat there just soaking it in. Ben's hand found its way to her thigh under the table. He really couldn't help himself when it came to her.

"What if another force user presents themselves?" The table stopped talking, Rey lightly blushed but kept going. She was right, the galaxy was at peace now. He and Rey were on the same page in the matter that he was bound to Rey and didn't plan on going anywhere. "I have been thinking…I would like to train those kids who have this gift and have nowhere to go…here."

"Ah…Naboo the place of new Jedi? And what if they go bad like…" The queen glanced at him. Knowing she stopped before saying his name.

"They wouldn't be Jedi." That made Ben choke on his water. Rey continued on before anyone could chime in. "There was once a legion of force users before the Sith and Jedi…one that understood that dark and light were companions not enemies. I wish to revive those teachings. I am not a Jedi no more than Ben here is full Sith. I think we need to go back to those teachings."

"Well, you have my vote. And you can propose this to the Council Leaders…they want to talk to you anyways."

"When?" Both Rey and Ben asked that. They looked at each other briefly. His hand tightened around her thigh though.

"Two days time. They have been asking for Rey since she came out of her coma…but Leia has always silenced them. But now…we can't hold them off. I don't think you'll be gone long…maybe a few days." Rey nodded along and Ben sat there. So it begins.

* * *

"Young Solo…a word with you." The Queen snagged him after dinner.

"Yes?"

"Your mother told me the happy news! We have a street rover ready to take you to the summer palace with Rey of course. A lot of Senator Padme's jewelry was left here or brought here after her death. It all is available to you. I had her ring collection brought…here follow me." Inside the small room, they just entered, were three boxes of rings on display. Ben looked at them and thanked the Queen tremendously for her generosity.

"Young Solo…you have a troubled past…that doesn't mean you should be robbed of a brilliant future. Now some of the rings are quite loud for Rey…this box houses the simpler ones. I trust you will pick a dazzling ring…I have some other things to attend to but when you and Rey are ready, the rover will depart to the summer palace."

"Thank you again…for everything." The Queen smiled and exited. Ben looked at the box she suggested and started looking at the rings. Each was beautiful and stunning. He felt overwhelmed. He had to pick the right one for her. After what felt like a million rings, he saw one with the main diamond surrounded by smaller ones in a floral design. Simple yet elegant like Rey. He smiled and grabbed a box for it.

* * *

"Where are you running to?"

"You. Come on I have a surprise!" Rey laughed at him as he tugged her hands to follow him. They got to the rover and Rey looks at him with confusion.

"Where are we going?"

"Trust me." He helped her in and Rey enjoyed every moment in that rover. She'd tug on his sleeve and point at things they rode past. Ben watched as she would wave to people who recognized her. He felt her excitement and happiness bubbling through her.

"Oh Ben, this place…"

"It's the summer palace…my grandmother adored this place. The Queen…said it can be mine."

"Really? Wow…oh this is rather large for just you." Ben gulped and led her to the balcony that overlooked the ocean.

"I am hoping that you'd like to make it ours…" Rey turned quickly to look at him. Ben was down on the ground holding up the ring. "Rey…of Jakku. I know we've had our differences and there was a point in which we probably would've killed each other if it was allowed. But here we are…you come from nothing. But I'd like to spend my life giving you everything. Starting with my last name. So um will you marry me?" Rey dropped to her knees in front of him, tears were falling down.

"Yes…oh yes…Ben…oh, this is more than-yes YES!" She flung herself into him. Ben caught her with one arm. She started peppering kisses all over his face. Only stopping when he slid the ring on her finger. Then she flung into him again.

"I'll have a last name…a family…"

"Rey I'm going to give you the world." Then she cried, Ben knew they were happy tears.

"I love you, Ben Solo."

"I love you too, Rey Solo."


	16. Calmness

**Hello, my lovelies! I finally finished the last chapter of this story. Writer's block sucks. Anyways...only ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS ONE! How crazy is that? I do have another story in the works but with how crazy my life is I'm going to try to finish writing it before posting it so I don't run into delay issues. :) Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 _So say my name_

 _And every color illuminates_

 _And we are shining_

 _And we'll never be afraid again_

 _Say my name_

 _As every color illuminates_

 _Spectrum by Florence + the Machine_

* * *

She couldn't wait to tell Finn. Ben and she spent the evening watching the sunset. His fingers were playing with her hair. A palace…that will be all theirs. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine this would be her life.

"Ben we should go inside…"

"Good idea I don't know where the bedrooms are here…" They held hands and strolled through the halls. There were many bedrooms and halls. They finally stumbled upon what seemed to be the hall that his grandmother would stay in. The room was huge. The bed could sleep the whole outpost on Jakku. It was dressed with the most vibrant deep purple color. Rey touched it, silk with a soft velvet feel to it.

"This place is…"

"Very large…perhaps…we could convert half of it to the new force temple you want to build." Rey looked at Ben just shocked he suggested it.

"I-you-I didn't think you'd want to help." Rey stood there as Ben crossed the room to her. She still couldn't believe this. He was in front of her now, gently stroked her cheek.

"I think it is a great idea…let them see that you can be dark and light without being evil. Besides, you'll undoubtedly need my help so I figured if I'm there from the start nothing could go wrong." Rey punched him in the gut then. But then hugged him and felt so calm at that moment.

 _"You think I'D love you? A scavenger…you're not worthy to lick the dust from my shoe. Peasant." A crack sounded and Rey was crying. She believed every lie out of his mouth. Every blissful lie._

 _"Then WHY?"_

 _"To rule. Obviously and twist the minds of the younglings…soon I'll have an army of little Siths."_

 _"No…not the kids…please…no…"_

 _"Don't worry you won't be around to see them betray you."_

"REY!" She was jolted awake, in a sweat and scared. She shoved Ben and scuttled across the room to assess the damage done to her. The ring glinted and her face showed not bruises. A nightmare.

"Rey…darling are-"

"It was a nightmare. That's all. I'm fine."

"It was about me…"

"Ben…don't do this, please. It was a nightmare."

"How can you love me if your subconscious thinks I'm still-"

"BEN. I don't think that. There are memories that you don't want to admit you did and I know you, my Ben didn't do them. But they are still there and some nights…the demons win. But you'll always be there to pull me out…calling me back to the true you." She was in front of him now, tracing his scar with her fingers knowing more linger under his shirt. "Soon there will be more good memories than the bad…and my nightmares will fade. Don't shut me out because of our troubled path." Ben rested his forehead against hers.

"Rey. I'll never be able to erase the scars I've caused you. My precious Rey." He placed a tender kiss on her lips. The happiness and sorrow swirled around them. Her pulling him from his inner sorrows and he trying to keep her happy. Ben led her back to bed, quickly enveloping her in his safe strong arms. Rey curled up in his arms, feeling calm again. This was home to her. His arms.

* * *

They were training in one of the rooms on the half of the palace that would be the school. That's when Poe found them the next day.

"Well, I'm glad to know you two do actually train and not just use the room for other things." Rey flashed red and Ben scowled. "So this place is huge. And I spy a heavy rock on your hand Rey…does that mess your swing up?" Rey rolled her eyes at Poe but was smiling.

"He wishes. I thought I had one more day?"

"Oh you do but you two never returned last night so I was sent to find you. I don't know why I'm getting stuffed with always finding you two." Poe grumbled but looked around some more.

"Well, you found us. So you can leave now."

"Ben…Poe can stay here. We have plenty of rooms and he'd just have to come back tomorrow to get me anyways." She felt Ben's irritation, but smiled at Poe. "Now I want to hear everything about this new leadership deal."

* * *

"You leave for 3 days. How will I survive?" Rey rolled over and looked at Ben who was hiding a smirk. She smiled and scooted closer. It was a hotter night on Naboo, so Ben had his muscular chest on display. Taunting her to just give into those dreams that outweigh her nasty nightmares. She gently touched his collarbone and traced it to the center of his chest.

"I don't know…perhaps I could leave you with some sky high memories."

"Oh? And how do you plan to do that little scavenger?" Rey's heart lurched with excitement because she could see the desire in his eyes. She straddled him and leaned down to his ear, nipping at it.

"Like this." His skin on hers felt like a dream. Ben hands wandering over his skin, they were so soft from wearing gloves compared to her rough ones. She never wanted to leave him, his hands, or his lips. That night would be permanently inked in Rey's mind. The way her name spilled from his lips, it was like her name was his prayer and his was hers.

The sun peeked through the curtains, Rey blinked and groaned before snuggling more into Ben. Their night garments littered around the bed. Ben moaned and pulled her closer.

"Don't go…stay here all day…" Ben laid kisses on her shoulder.

"I can't…Poe will-"

"Don't ever mention another man while in our bed."

"Oh don't go all Kylo now. I have to go…speaking of that I should get ready."

"We have time for a morning treat." Rey knew that look, he gave it to her plenty last night.

"Ben…there is no time for that!" He lunged for her and Rey squealed crawling off the bed. She grabbed his shirt that he discarded because it was too hot.

"Gods Rey…you are enjoying torturing me…dark little scavenger."

"Eat your heart out Ben, but you're not touching me this morning. You'll make me late!" Ben reached for her and Rey ran to the bathroom. She blew him a kiss before going in and locking the door. She heard a pillow hit the door.

"MINX" She smiled and took her time in the bathroom, hoping Ben won't pounce on her when she got out…though she wouldn't stop him if he did. When she did emerge, she found Ben at the table with breakfast ordered in. She skipped across the room and kissed his cheek.

"I gave up wooing you…figured food would be a better bet at keeping you to myself until you leave." Ben shot her a wink and Rey glared but smiled. They spent the rest of their time talking about the changes that would need to be made to the half of the palace they want to convert to a teaching temple. Soon she was boarding a ship and waving goodbye to Ben.

* * *

The moment she got off the plane, Kaydel was wrapping her up in a hug.

"LET ME SEE THE BLING!" Rey showed the ring and then got another hug. "This is so exciting! Oh my gosh. Tonight my room, don't look at me like that Poe, Rey and I need to start looking for the perfect dress." A laugh sounded and Rey glanced to see Ben via the bond smiling.

"Don't let me see that dress, darling." With a wink, he left and Rey smiled.

"Yeah okay fine, so tell me what meeting I'm in?" Kaydel jabbered while telling her that most just would like to meet her but there a few planets that are in the midst of civil wars that the Council is torn on how to handle. The planet officials are not helping at all. It was a boring meeting. Rey heard what was happening on the planet and why one side was rebelling against the other.

"Master Rey, what is your take?"

"Uh…I think the slaves are asking for too much. Freedom is obviously something that should be granted. But the money they are asking to stay on in their positions…it is a lot from a government that's been crippled from the war."

"Yes, that has been what we think as well. Now onto the next item on the list now that Jedi Master Rey is present. The matter of Kylo-Ren's sentence." Rey felt her stomach drop. "We have the reports from Captain General Dameron, First Lieutenant Connix, High Advisor Organa, Queen Jubilee of Naboo, Commander Finn, and Pilot Tico. Now, all we need is yours. To complete our report and how he should be sentenced."

"Shouldn't Ben be here for that?"

"This isn't the final hearing-" Rey rose then and glared at the Council.

"You want my report on Kylo-Ren? He's dead. He no longer exists. He died the moment he flew across the galaxy when he could no longer feel my life through our bond. Since then Ben Solo has rose from the dead. He became instrumental in helping take down the First Order, providing intel and potential movements when Hux was in command. He was with me when I took down the motherboards. He killed Snoke to protect me, he killed Hux to protect me. We all have darkness lurking in us. Ben was neglected as a child, a cruel man took advantage of him. I think keeping him on Naboo with his mother close by is the best for him."

"And close to you…I see the ring. The rumors are true then. You've fallen for the boy." A deep voice spoke out, and Rey was starting to get angry at this interrogation.

"Ben understands what it is like having a beast lurking underneath that is always itching to be let out. You have other reports I don't-"

"Is it true that he tortured you as well?" A different Council Leader interrupted.

"Yes. I resisted. He was intrigued by me from then on. Everyone else you've spoken to must have attested to his stability now. Even when he arrived to the base he was not Kylo-Ren anymore."

"Yes shockingly everyone speaks like you have, he knows what he has done but you were the reason he changed. Now we hear you wish to train new force users? With him present?" The lady addressed her again, she seemed calm and understanding.

"Ben and I know what it is like to be scared of the darkness in us. The last thing we need is some fanatic of the Sith luring these kids and we have a new galactic crisis on our hands. Ben and I have agreed to teach the old ways, the time before the Sith or Jedi…where the dark and the light were two halves to a whole…life and death are in balance you can't only have one without the other. That's the ways we wish to teach. That if you have darkness, you can use it or control it…not let it consume you."

"Master Rey…If I may…I think you and many of the people who have testified on Solo's behalf are far to close to him personally too-" A fat humanoid like creature spoke next.

"So you wish to kill him for doing what he thought was right? What if the tables were turned Council Leader? What if instead, you were resting your fate in the friends you made while turning against all you knew? Ben hated Snoke…he has scars to prove it. The First Order would have killed all of us. I'm not saying Ben shouldn't be punished. But I think the last year's worth of actions should speak far louder since he was essential in bringing down the Order."

"We would've-" Rey felt the anger close to boiling over. One swift movement she could kill this pompous man sitting before her. The one so clearly filled with distaste for anyone who helped the First Order.

"REY!" Poe's arms were dragging her out of the room, Rey saw the man she disliked slumped over.

"Poe is he okay?" The room was in an uproar. She broke off from Poe and ran back in.

"The Jedi attacked him!"

"Kylo-Ren has his claws in her!"

"She said she had darkness in her!"

Rey was over to the man's body, he was alive, just knocked out. She had never lost control like that. Not since she fought against Ben the first time in the woods, her emotions ripping around her and her force whirling like an uncaged lion. The hearing was over. The man was taken to the med bay. Now there was a new hearing.

"Master Rey…explain yourself."

"Um, I'm sorry…it has been a long time since I lost control like that…happens when my emotions go chaotic the force feeds off of it. That's the best explanation I have."

"You were upset with Council Leader Seep?"

"He was being rather hypocritical. Ben is not unlike Finn or any other stormtrooper we are offering no reprimand if the speak up against the higher leaders. Have you spoken to Ben at all on what he thinks?"

"Yes, we have. He said he owes his life to you. Without you, he wouldn't be happy…he'd likely be dead. I could see he already views himself as the monster some of the others think. He is haunted enough. I move to allow Ben Solo to remain on Naboo under strict watch of Master Rey and Gen-sorry High Advisor Organa. Any space travel must be authorized by us, the Council. I also see no problem allowing our Jedi, savior of the galaxy the permission to start a school. I agree that perhaps helping teach will do Mr. Solo well. Any objections?" The Council was silent and Rey was about to puke from happiness. She couldn't believe that no one objected. Though she sensed the fear in the room.

* * *

"They were probably scared to." Rey glared at Poe during dinner. Kaydel snickered.

"Shut up! Really? I honestly didn't mean to-"

"Seep is the worst, slimy and cares about just himself. I don't know how he got on Council but hopefully, he's knocked out for a long time and they just replace him with someone more sensible." Rey smiled then. Poe always liked to tease her but he did always let her know if he approved of her actions. It was good to see the both of them.

"So any news about Rose and Finn?" Rey asked because she was curious if the two made up.

"Rose…is jaded for some reason. She works here on ships. Finn has a new pilot, though he could easily just fly himself. But anyways, he makes sure to dock where she doesn't work. He's hurt that Rose thinks so little of him even after all they've been through and Rose is mad that he won't see her side of things. So it's a stalemate right now." Kaydel spoke and Poe grunted along agreeing with her at certain parts.

"Oh…that's too bad. Finn really liked her." That was really all Rey had to say on the topic. She was upset that Rose was being stubborn but she agreed that sometimes Finn went a bit overboard, especially when it came to Rey. So Rey decided to go find Rose and maybe try again to talk some sense into the girl.

* * *

"Rose? I know you're in there…I can see the light on." The door slid open to reveal a girl who resembled Rose but Rey sensed she was in great despair.

"Glad to see you can walk again. You made quite the gossip today with the whole knocking out Council-"

"He as being a slug, talking like Ben was some monster in the shadows. I just lost control for a moment. Frankly, I was envisioning doing a lot worse so he should be happy to just be knocked out."

"Why are you here?"

"Poe asked me to come to some meetings for a few days. I'd rather still be on Naboo personally but I needed to come to get permission to start a force temple to teach young ones at."

"No, I meant why are you at my door. Though you'd be good at teaching, Ben might be…rough on the edges but he's got a good heart so I'm sure you'll both do fine."

"I want to listen that's why." Rey now had managed to get inside the room. It reminded her of the small captain's room on the Falcon. Rose stood there looking uncomfortable and unsure.

"Listen to what?"

"You. Rose, I can feel the despair…just as easily as I felt the jealousy and anger that day in the Naboo hanger." Rose sighed and flopped down on the bed.

"I miss him. A lot. I thought once it was all done we'd…I don't know, settle into rank on a planet like you and Ben did. But no, he wanted to find more like him and help them adjust. It didn't help that you were in a coma so all he did was try to find answers to that. I felt like he forgot about me. I was just the pilot. He never asked me what I'd like to do on a new planet always hey I'm doing this to see if he knows how to help Rey. Then expect me to follow him! It all came to a head that day in the hanger. Seeing you all weak and clearly in love with Ben still…I snapped. I thought _'wow he's so caught up in helping Rey, find Rey, where is Rey, to not stop and notice Rey doesn't care for him like that. I do and he lost sight of that.'_ I feel awful…but he wouldn't speak to me after that so here I am. Why do you care?"

"I thought we were friends…I care about you both. He'll come around. I just know you'd think I'd side with him. Kaydel and Poe are frankly too attached to snag Kaydel away for a vent session. So I figured you'd like someone to vent to. Ben asked me to marry him."

"I thought I saw something sparkling off the lights! Let me see the ring!" They spent the rest of the night just talking. When Rey left Rose seemed to be in better spirits knowing that she didn't lose a good friend over this momentary split with Finn. Rey was already counting down the days until she was back on Naboo. A place that held her heart: in more ways than one.


	17. Simple Love

**This will be the final chapter! It was honestly a bit of a struggle to write because I find there is no 'good' way to wrap up a story. It's hard for me to write a finite ending. But I hope you like it! I'm currently working on TWO (I know) stories...one is Harry Potter and the other is another Reylo fic. Drop me a comment on which one you'd like to see me post first! You guys were awesome to me since this is my first bout in fanfic. So I love you for that. But for now: I'm heavy in my coursework and wedding planning (!). Stay tuned for a story from me, I'm gonna try my hardest to write up the chapters and finish a story before posting it so I don't lag on the updates :). Also: leave a comment for how you'd like me to post a little blurb on this story when I have the new story up and going. OKAY enough from me.**

* * *

 _Why do you love me so_

 _Doesn't quite make sense you know_

 _I am so flawed, so scarred_

 _You're so damn uncomplicated_

 _Sometimes it's frustrating_

 _What did I do to deserve you in my arms?_

 _You give me Simple Love_

 _Uncomplicated, simple love_

 _Unconditional, easy love_

 _The kind of love that will always see us through_

 _I'm simply in love with you_

 _Sometimes it's too much to bear_

 _Thought I'd have to face it on my own_

 _But the angels sent you down to me_

 _And you made sense of everything_

 _Gave me your heart as a home_

 _Simple Love by Liz Longley_

* * *

Once Rey had returned, the whole palace went into a frenzy because it was wedding prep time. Ben sat through a lot of the meetings, his only solace was that Rey looked equally unimpressed with the planning of the event. Anyone who's anyone will be there. The union that made galactic peace possible is how his mother phrased it. Rey and Ben would have rather just had friends and family attend. But the months slipped by with all the mayhem of wedding planning. And before he knew it. He was having 'Guy's Night' while Rey was with the girls and it was the night before the big day.

"You okay bud?" Poe asked while helping Finn into his suit, his mother demanded they all try on the suits in case last minute adjustments needed to be made.

"I'm just not sure if this color compliments-"

"I was talking to Ben, Finn." Finn made an 'O' with his mouth then started fiddling with the pockets of the suit. Ben sat there and shrugged.

"Nervous. What if-"

"Rey is gonna show up. Kaydel will kill her if she doesn't." Ben nodded to Poe, knowing he was right and took another deep breath to calm himself. The boys were also on edge since they only had just reached an uneasy truce to behave. They all have accepted that they all were fixed points in Rey's life. Finn cleared his throat for the fifth time, grating Ben's already exposed nerves.

"How are you and Rose?" Ben coolly asked, trying to get the man to stop awkwardly making noises and shuffling his feet.

"Uh fine I guess?" Finn sighed and Ben silently hated himself because he could sense the dam about the break. "She still refuses to talk to me. But she seems to be more than happy to talk to Rey again but my friendship with Rey is why Rose isn't talking to me in the first place! It's a load of crap."

"Well don't pick a fight tomorrow or I'll gladly kill you to end your misery." Ben drawled out. Both Finn and Poe glanced at each other knowing full well that Ben would hold up his threat.

"I won't provoke her…but come on…even you have to admit she's being very hypocritical." Finn looked at him and Ben sighed. He knew that this surely was the penance for all his crimes, handling social fumbling for the ex-trooper.

"Yes sure but women are-"

"Like puzzles but you're missing about a fourth of the pieces and you're still expected to complete the puzzle." Poe cut off Ben, not that he minded because Poe's explanation was far better than what he was going to say.

"Maybe I'll just be a loner like Luke…seems easier." Everyone chuckled at that quip Finn made. Soon another round of beer came and went.

* * *

Ben awoke to all of them in the same spots he last remembered. Banging on the door was what woke him up. So with a grumble, he retched the open to find Kaydel on the other side.

"OH, YOU BOYS SHOULD BE HALF READY BY NOW! UP ALL OF YOU UP!" She just brushed right past Ben on her way to wake up the other two.

"Must you shout?" Ben hissed and followed her to get ready as she ordered. Anything to get her to stop yelling at them. The others just let out moans as Kaydel shook them awake, more yelling ensued which only lead to more moans from Finn and Poe. Ben got dressed quickly and quietly while guzzling some water. By the time he exited his dressing room, the other two boys were dressed as well. Nerves were rapidly settling themselves in the pit of Ben's stomach. They made their way to where the ceremony will be held.

What felt like days, even years to Ben was actually just mere hours. Soon the music was playing and he felt sick. He just kept repeating to himself: _Keep calm, it is Rey. You are worthy of this._ That was when he saw her: Rey. She wore a stunning golden gown. It flowed behind her like molten gold, reflecting back the sun's rays. Ben blinked multiple times, he couldn't have imagined her this radiant. And she was truly radiant, her smile at him was enough to make all his worries vanish. Really, his whole mind just went blank while watching her slowly make her way to him. Most of the ceremony went by in a blur, he couldn't stop staring at her.

"Ben…your vows…" Poe said while nudging him with a sheet of paper in his hands. They were already at the vows? Ben's mouth suddenly went dry and he swallowed. He grabbed the sheet, fumbling to open it. Why was he so nervous? He poured over his vows for weeks.

"Rey…I knew you would be valuable to me from the moment I laid eyes on you. I suppose I just never thought this was where you would lead me. You never once gave up on me, even when I thought I was beyond saving, even when the whole galaxy was against you. For that, I will spend the rest of my life making up to. Never did I find myself worthy of your love…but I'm glad you shoved it upon me anyway. I will spend the rest of my life loving you in a way that could only make up for my past. My love, you are the shining light that keeps me from drowning in the darkness." Some sobs were heard from the crowd, Ben barely kept it together himself. He was never one to bare his heart on his sleeve, but he hoped Rey could see how much she meant to him. Her hands slipped into his and they both smiled.

"Ben. Sometimes you behave in a way that does make me want to kill you just like how we first met. That fire between us will never die I think. All we've done is change it, now it burns brightly from our devotion to each other. The light we both will always circle back to when the darkness becomes too great. You taught me that not everything is black and white, that everyone deserves a second chance. You are my other half. I couldn't have imagined this ever happening back when I was just a scavenger, but I think I did a pretty good job scavenging your heart from you. I promise you, I'll never waiver from you, for your heart is the most precious thing I've ever held."

They kissed and the crowd cheered, Ben couldn't hear though, he was focused too much on Rey. Their bond was mind-numbing with strength from the love they just vowed to each other. It was intoxicating. The whole night was filled with dancing and simple kisses on each other's lips.

"Let's leave…" Ben mumbled into Rey's ear as they were politely chatting with some council person. Ben didn't care enough to listen to his name. He nipped at her earlobe and she gasped. He knew she knew what he was suggesting. She looked at him and just smiled.

"Ben…just a few more moments…let's dance again…then you can spend the rest of your life trying to convince me to stay in bed with you." Ben chuckled at her but agreed to her whim of dancing a few more songs. He knew that if she asked, he'd do anything for Rey. How simple his life has become because of her. Everything he'll ever do will always circle back to how ferociously he loved his little scavenger.

 _ **THE END.**_


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